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What Should We Get Matthew Stafford for his Wedding?

Monty McMahon by Monty McMahon
February 11, 2015
in Uncategorized
16

Matthew Stafford and Kelly Hall

Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford AKA Butterball is finally making an honest woman out of his classy, keg-stand-loving lady Kelly Hall.

The nuptials will take place on April 4 and someone has gone and found the couple’s Williams-Sonoma wedding registry.

Unfortunately, there is no gravy boat, so we cannot continue our tradition of sending a gravy boat to the other quarterbacks in the NFC North when they get married.

Also unfortunate, the ice cream scooper has already been spoken for. You just know Butterball loves ice cream. His fat face tells us that he probably eats ice cream after every meal.

He probably has a t-shirt that says “I Love Ice Cream.”

So, what do you think? What should we get them?

Tags: Detroit LionsKelly HallMatthew Stafford
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Comments 16

  1. Avatar for Adam Adam says:
    8 years ago

    The Mortar & Pestle and include custom Valentine’s Day Hearts that read “Super Bowl” on them – that he can grind into dust.

  2. Avatar for Big B Big B says:
    8 years ago

    A pre-nup.

  3. Avatar for Nacho dan Nacho dan says:
    8 years ago

    Matching backwards hats

    • Avatar for Fuckin' ESPN Fuckin' ESPN says:
      8 years ago

      For days

  4. Avatar for JC JC says:
    8 years ago

    Coupons for 2 “Gilbert style” Whoppers. What a fat, I hope she gets paid for this. ….

  5. Avatar for ferris ferris says:
    8 years ago

    His real name is John. I didn’t know that. They have cheap friends no high ticket items have been purchased. Plus I don’t buy gifts for someone who signed a contract less than 2 years ago with $41M guaranteed. Wonder if the Ford family throws up in their mouth a little when anyone says 41.

  6. Avatar for Savage57 Savage57 says:
    8 years ago

    His-n-her butt plugs in Honolulu Blue and Silver?

  7. Avatar for Snarff Snarff says:
    8 years ago

    A Gravy boat like Smoken Jay got.

  8. Avatar for 1265LombardiAve 1265LombardiAve says:
    8 years ago

    The entire Fathead collection.

  9. Avatar for Kozak Kozak says:
    8 years ago

    A double headed dildo and a can of Crisco.

  10. Avatar for cd4packers cd4packers says:
    8 years ago

    A years supply of Kleenex. He’ll need em..

  11. Avatar for Howard Howard says:
    8 years ago

    There is nothing money can buy that would show the true way Packer fans feel about this happy couple. Your gift should come from the heart. You should put together a scrap book of all the fond posts, including comments you have authored on the couple. A video of packers highlights that Stafford has performed for the pleasure of Packer fans worldwide should top off the heart felt gift nicely. After all gifts from the heart and made by hand are always the most cherished.

  12. Avatar for Carl w/ a "C" Carl w/ a "C" says:
    8 years ago

    The $300 toaster… yes, I said the $300 TOASTER…

  13. Avatar for Andy Andy says:
    8 years ago

    Tuxedo t-shirt with the sleeves cut off

  14. Avatar for rebelgb rebelgb says:
    8 years ago

    I’ll give them a hot load on his sexy wifes face.

    Or a pearl necklace…

    • Avatar for Shawn Neuser Shawn Neuser says:
      8 years ago

      Come on, now. Thou shalt not covet another man’s wife.

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