Yeah, I know. Who the fuck is Chris Christie?
Well, this fat bastard is the governor of the garbage dump known as New Jersey. He’s also a Dallas Cowboys fan for some reason. He was the rotund shitheel sitting in Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones’ suite last Sunday who very awkwardly hugged Big Jer when the Boys pulled it out.
Jones thinks Christie is some sort of furry (not fat) good luck charm. So naturally, he wants Christie to come to Green Bay this weekend.
Christie has been the ass-end of jokes for some time. It’s usually because of his weight, but also because, like most politicians, he’s a fucking moron. And then this public display of Dallas Cowboys’ fandom came along and people found another reason to make fun of him.
It’s gotten so easy that even Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is getting in on the act.
Not sure that I’d want to hug that guy anymore than I’d want to hug old man Jones, but we get it, Scott. You’re a man of the people! Just a regular guy! And a Packers fan!
We actually buy that last one. Not sure about the first two, though.