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You’re All Free to Mock Chris Christie Now

Chris Christie

Yeah, I know. Who the fuck is Chris Christie?

Well, this fat bastard is the governor of the garbage dump known as New Jersey. He’s also a Dallas Cowboys fan for some reason. He was the rotund shitheel sitting in Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones’ suite last Sunday who very awkwardly hugged Big Jer when the Boys pulled it out.

Jones thinks Christie is some sort of furry (not fat) good luck charm. So naturally, he wants Christie to come to Green Bay this weekend.


Christie has been the ass-end of jokes for some time. It’s usually because of his weight, but also because, like most politicians, he’s a fucking moron. And then this public display of Dallas Cowboys’ fandom came along and people found another reason to make fun of him.

It’s gotten so easy that even Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is getting in on the act.

Uh, yeah…

Not sure that I’d want to hug that guy anymore than I’d want to hug old man Jones, but we get it, Scott. You’re a man of the people! Just a regular guy! And a Packers fan!

We actually buy that last one. Not sure about the first two, though.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Arcturus January 7, 2015

    I like how this tub of guts got his high-five denied and then goes in for the little thrusting hug. He’s nothing but a pet monkey to guys like Jones. They probably are making fun of him behind his back- as long as the Port Authority keeps giving Jones’ company juicy contracts, they’re happy to have Christie come and dance for them at Cowboy games.

    1. MMTTDCSUCK January 7, 2015

      Amen! Tough talking sellout whore.

    2. Savage57 January 7, 2015

      Straight up ‘left standin’. Counted that bitch down to 14. Jerry only has you around top clean up the wing plates.

  2. E. Wolf January 7, 2015

    Hey Pups and Kitties,

    If you have not seen it yet, you may enjoy this cartoon of Chris Christie:


  3. Organicbuzz January 7, 2015

    Christie likes a lot of lard in his gravy. Walker is no friend of the working dog. Fuck them both. It’s sad to see them benefit from the Pack. I don’t think Vince would like them. We are ready for some high intensity playoff football action; Ain’t we!? Go Pack Go!!!

    1. MMTTDCSUCK January 7, 2015

      Amen! both of these fucktards are big money tools . . .

    2. rebelgb January 7, 2015

      Let me guess: Walker is for the rich! Get some new talking points .

      1. Brewtown Packer Backer January 8, 2015

        Every politician is for the rich. It’s got nothing to with talking points or political party. Wake the fuck up.

      2. MMTTDCSUCK January 9, 2015

        Yes he is shit for brains. You are just way too propagandized to realize it. Kind of like the frog in the boiling water thing you know? Wow! maybe you don’t . . . The mere fact that you even remotely defend this absolute fucktard quantifies it. Those are not talking points BTW.

        1. rebelgb January 10, 2015

          Yes they are talking points because your ignorant, uneducated ass has no facts or real talking points to back up your lame brain comments.

          Seriously it is stupid fucks like you who are destroying this country. Listen asshole, stop watching CNN, MSNBC and listening to Ben Aflack. Actually form a real thought, using your limited intelligence, ON YOUR OWN.

          If you really believe for a second that your liberal / democratic croonie politicians are on your side, or the side of any average American, you are too stupid for my 2 minutes of commentary here and I was better off spending that time knitting a scarf.

          Seriously grow up and take a look at the world. Read a book or two, travel, talk to people other than your compradre liberal idiot friends….

  4. Skinny January 7, 2015

    Everything about that photo is what’s wrong with America. You think Ted Thompson does that shit with Mark Murphy after wins? Hell no.

    1. Savage57 January 7, 2015

      Think of it like this.

      Fat mafa, steamy-ass belly hanging out, Cowboys players have to SMACK! that nasty mafa as they run by. Several players puke on their way out on to the field.

      Buddha Gone Bad.

  5. Nacho dan January 7, 2015

    Your state hosts the Jets and Giants and your in the owners box of the Cowboys? Is everyone who works with him a fucking moron? We’re going to Dallas sir great idea sir!

  6. Howard January 7, 2015

    If he cannot block, tackle, pass, catch a pass, or defend a pass then who gives a shit. Remember once a good luck charm does not work then you get rid of it. Christie will be cast aside by jones after this weekend.

  7. Ryan January 7, 2015

    I can’t stand that guy in the tweeted photo. He actually has his own ‘player’ card that he hands out and will come speak at your functions. What a schmuck.

  8. Some guy January 7, 2015

    Better watch what you say about Christ Christie or he’ll come over and close all your bridges at rush hour.

  9. Savage57 January 7, 2015

    Fat motherfucker needs to get on that Chain Saw Diet, stat.


  10. packattackinmpls January 7, 2015


  11. Brad January 8, 2015

    It only adds interest to the game. I hope that Packers win, and put him to shame.