Before the Green Bay Packers ruined all of 2015 by losing to the Seattle Seahawks, things were actually looking pretty rosy. They beat the Dallas Cowboys in the divisional round and also allowed us the opportunity to again see what whiny shitbags Cowboys fans are.
All of their complaints, which were totally absurd, stemmed from a fourth down Dez Bryant catch that was correctly ruled an incompletion. Now, a typical Cowboys fan is suing the NFL because of that play.
And when I say typical Cowboys fan, I mean a prisoner.
Terry C. Hendrix is locked up at the Fremont Correctional Facility in Canon City, Colorado. And like most people who are incarcerated, he’s a fan of the Dallas Cowboys and has a lot of free time on his hands. So, he filed a handwritten $89 billion lawsuit in Dallas federal court this week against the NFL, commissioner Roger Goodell, director of officiating Dean Blandino and referee Gene Steratore.
The suit is filed by Terry C. Hendrix on behalf of Dez Bryant #88, all Dallas Cowboys fans, and all people in or and from the sovereign Republic of Texas.
The defendants are accused of “fraud, theft and gross stupidity in the face of an undeniable catch.” The filing goes on to say the defendants stole a win from the Cowboys “because the Cowboys would have perfectly created an ‘autobahn’ for DeMarco Murray to drive into the endzone for the score and victory” had the Bryant play been ruled a catch.
Oh, great stuff!