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Someone is Suing the NFL Over Dez Bryant Non-Catch

Dez Bryant

Before the Green Bay Packers ruined all of 2015 by losing to the Seattle Seahawks, things were actually looking pretty rosy. They beat the Dallas Cowboys in the divisional round and also allowed us the opportunity to again see what whiny shitbags Cowboys fans are.

All of their complaints, which were totally absurd, stemmed from a fourth down Dez Bryant catch that was correctly ruled an incompletion. Now, a typical Cowboys fan is suing the NFL because of that play.

And when I say typical Cowboys fan, I mean a prisoner.

That’s right.

Terry C. Hendrix is locked up at the Fremont Correctional Facility in Canon City, Colorado. And like most people who are incarcerated, he’s a fan of the Dallas Cowboys and has a lot of free time on his hands. So, he filed a handwritten $89 billion lawsuit in Dallas federal court this week against the NFL, commissioner Roger Goodell, director of officiating Dean Blandino and referee Gene Steratore.

The suit is filed by Terry C. Hendrix on behalf of Dez Bryant #88, all Dallas Cowboys fans, and all people in or and from the sovereign Republic of Texas.

The defendants are accused of “fraud, theft and gross stupidity in the face of an undeniable catch.” The filing goes on to say the defendants stole a win from the Cowboys “because the Cowboys would have perfectly created an ‘autobahn’ for DeMarco Murray to drive into the endzone for the score and victory” had the Bryant play been ruled a catch.

Oh, great stuff!

Lawsuit Over Dez Bryant's Catch

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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6 Comments

  1. E. Wolf January 23, 2015

    Although not in this instance, the NFL is certainly guilty of theft and fraud.

  2. Vijay January 23, 2015

    Everyone who’s successful in life is guilty of some sort of theft or fraud. It’s how you play the game. Don’t believe me? Ask Coach Belichick.

  3. Phatgzus January 24, 2015

    I hate the NFL Legal Dpt., led by Czar Goodell, but they oughta counter-sue this dumb MFs ass for wasting the judiciary time and tax-payer money, this suit is fucking ridiculous.

  4. Howard January 24, 2015

    The tax payers probably already had to pay for filing the suit. The prison system usually has to pay the filing costs for inmate suits. What a great system set up by a bunch of attorneys.

  5. rebelgb January 25, 2015

    Attorneys are one of the cancers of this ill country.

    That being said you cant make this shit up. Hilarious.

  6. icebowl January 27, 2015

    Maybe he can buy a Selectric (thats a typewriter, for you young’uns) for next year when the dummy will no doubt file another frivolous suit after The Cowpokes choke again….
    On a mire serious note, it’s this kind of crap that ties up our legal system……