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Predictions: Atlanta Falcons at Green Bay Packers

Matt Ryan

Shawn (9-3) — Prediction? Pain…

Yeah, that might be a cliche by now, but it is totally appropriate. The horsebleep Atlanta Falcons enter this game against the Green Bay Packers dead last in the NFL in total defense. That means they are somehow worse than the Chicago Bears, worse even than semi-pro teams like the Oakland Raiders and Jacksonville Jaguars. Better yet, the Falcons are last in pass defense, giving up a whopping 285 yards per game and on pace to eclipse their own franchise record for yards allowed per pass. They have assembled that impressive resume without facing any top-tier QBs except for one game against Drew Brees. Even though they’ve played 12 games, they’ve only amassed 14 sacks so far this season and now they come to Lambeau Field to rush against an offensive line that just stoned the Patriots for 12 seconds at a time.

Good luck with that.

The Falcons are coming off a high after beating the 9-2 Cardinals at home in perhaps their best game of the season. However, like the Eagles before them, the Falcons are going to find out quickly the stark contrast between Drew Stanton and a Larry Fitzgerald-less Cardinals versus Aaron Rodgers, Jordy Effin Nelson, Randall Cobb and Easy Eddie Lacy.

The Falcons are capable of scoring some points. They do have a bruiser running back in grizzled warrior Steven Action Jackson, and they do have Julio Jones back healthy. The Packers will likely be without Sam Shields, the guy that typically covers Jones. Shields is going through concussion protocol and when Packers players go into concussion protocol, they typically are not seen for at least a week. Davon House will likely take Shields’ place, and given House’s size, it should be a good match-up with Jones. However, House has a way of tanking when inserted as a starter.

Regardless, I think the Packers, with Sam Barrington and Clay Matthews in the middle, will have some luck stuffing Jackson and the rest of the running game. If that is done, it will be on Matt Ryan’s shoulders to keep the Falcons in the ball game. I don’t see it happening for long. The Falcons will need the Packers offense to self-destruct with penalties, dropped balls or turnovers. Otherwise, this seems to be a shootout in which the Falcons are hopelessly outgunned.

By the way, with this being the easiest game they have left, the Packers MUST win this game. I expect they will, by a lot. Aaron Rodgers keeps it rolling, and Eddie Lacy has a good game as well.

Packers 45, Falcons 20

Andrew (9-3) — Everything Shawn just said is correct. In a way, his analysis has alleviated some concerns I have/had about this game.

The Falcons are last in total defense, but statistics can be misleading. Atlanta has played much better ball lately than they did in October, when they went 0-4. In November, the Falcons went 3-1, including an upset win over the NFC’s top-seeded Arizona Cardinals just last week. The Falcons have won their last two on the road and the one loss in the last four games was a two-point heartbreaker at the hands of the upstart Cleveland Browns. This is not a team playing as poorly as its record might indicate.

Could the Falcons storm into Lambeau Field and catch the Packers napping? After all, the whole of Packers Nation is still basking in the glow of a gritty and hard-fought win versus New England. I’m totally guilty of it myself, having watched the 30-minute condensed version of the game again today for the umpteenth time. It was a great win. It was a great game. Many people talked about trap games prior to New England, but this is just as dangerous and likely a spot for a letdown as there is left on the schedule.

The Packers have owned the Falcons. And even though that own-age has really consisted of only two victories, they were substantial enough victories to make the Packers a serious target for this team. If the Packers decide to come in coasting and thinking this game is going to be easy, then they could find themselves in trouble.

But let’s be real here. If this Packers team is going to the places we all talk about at parties, then a letdown is simply out of the question. I was surprised to see the Packers favored by 13.5, but then again, why the hell shouldn’t they be against this Falcons team?

Championship teams with championship-caliber personnel and championship-caliber leadership don’t suffer letdowns.

There will be no letdown. There will only be pain.

Packers 51, Falcons 23

Monty (8-4) — I really hate the Atlanta Falcons. Not like I hate the Minnesota Vikings or Jim Harbaugh, but I hate them more than I should.

I mean, the Atlanta Falcons are completely inconsequential. If the Atlanta Falcons disappeared from the face of the earth, no one would care. No one would be worse off.

I think my hatred for the Falcons stems from the fact that they are essentially a useless blip on the NFL’s map, but also manage to consistently be someone’s darling and generate a certain amount of hype.

Somehow, this year’s turd of a team is in first place in the NFC South. That’s only possible because the NFC South is a fucking garbage dump. Or is it a tire fire?

Choose whichever metaphor you like better and make it your own!

At any rate, my point is 5-7 gets you first place in the NFC South and 5-7 shouldn’t get your first place in anything, much less a division in the NFL.

So let’s see.

There’s the dogshit defense, which is going to be torched by either Aaron Rodgers or Eddie Lacy. Your choice, Atlanta!

The Falcons offense can score because they have a couple good receivers in Julio Jones and Roddy White, but ooooooooooooooooooh! I’m real fuckin’ scared!

They’ll try to balance those receivers with the running of Steven Jackson, who at 74 years old, has 602 yards and is averaging 3.8 yards per carry. Remember when the Packers were going to sign this guy and then Big Ted totally boned it and we all got pissed off?

Haha, yeah. We were stupid, but that will happen when you’re used to heavy doses of Brandon Jackson.

Anyway, let’s talk about the greatest clutch quarterback of all time, Matt Ryan, AKA Matty Ice.

I’m kidding. I hate this fuckface. I hate his fuckface nickname. I hate his fuckface game. I hate his fuckface non-existant personality.

Matt Ryan makes a cardboard box look exciting. If you need one person to rip some lines off an escort’s ass with you, Matt Ryan is definitely not your guy.

The next person that tries to tell me that Matt Ryan is an elite quarterback is getting my fist smashed right into his fuckface. Matt Ryan is elite at one thing. The check down.

Alright, I got that out of my system. It’s true. I am not fond of the Atlanta Falcons or Matt Ryan. The Falcons are not very good this year and the Packers are rolling at home.

Packers 48, Falcons 23


Shawn Neuser attended UWGB and lives and works in Green Bay. He enjoys long walks on the beach and being intimate with game film.



  1. Kozak December 7, 2014

    I want to see the Pack beat that ass like they did in the Georgia Dome in 2011 in the playoffs. I can’t tell you how SWEET it was to be there and see the Falcon “Fans” all leaving in the third quarter. Worst raping and pillaging in Atlanta since Sherman.

  2. Howard December 7, 2014

    Great job as usual guys. It is hard to look at this game and not think how can Atlanta’s D even come close to covering the Packs skill players. The last time I saw a softer coverage unit was the bears. Atlanta leaves receivers running free all over the field, shit they usually start off allowing receivers a 5 to 10 yard cushion. The middle of the field is wide open all the time. Expect huge passing plays and yardage totals. Atlanta does have a stout D-Line that can be difficult if you run straight at them, however start stretching them to the sidelines and cutback lanes are there. Why even run? Well Atlanta’s linebackers and DB’s really react to run action. If you thought receivers were open before just wait!!! They will bite hard.

    Atlanta’s O is a dink and dunk team much like the Vikings. They are capable of making long drives with many 3 to 5 yard plays. The Pack needs to do a better job of stopping this action than they did against the Vikings. Atlanta does have a receiver in jones that as soon as you do not have coverage over the top will go deep. I would expect that HHCD stays deep most of the time over Jones. Jackson is not the dangerous back he once was, the freeman kid is the one to contain. Ryan will throw up picks under pressure, with tight coverage. No pressure and loose coverage he will work his way down the field. If the DB’s keep tight coverage there should be no doubt that Peppers or the OLB’s will get at least 3 sacks against the porous atlanta tackles and cause picks.

    The key to this game is do not allow jones, freeman or Hester big plays. When was the last time Atlanta played outside in the cold? Last year week 14 against a Packer team without several key players including Rodgers. The Pack won then and will do the same only with a much larger scoring margin. GO PACK!

    1. Fritz December 10, 2014

      huh? i don’t agree: the key to the game was limiting their pro bowl quality RB, Acton Jackson, to under 100 yds.

  3. Kato December 7, 2014

    Atlantas offensive line is garbage. I see them struggling mightily with the packers pass rush.

    1. Fritz December 7, 2014

      slurrrphh [sound of lickin’ chops]… and that spells… TURNOVERS… not like that game in NO where, whenever Saints put the ball on the ground or in the air for the taking, the dice always came up box cars, i.e. homies’ bounces for them, and for us– came up craps every time…

  4. ferris December 7, 2014

    I took my Dad to Lambeau for his first game there at 70 years old, it was the Falcons during the fuckface’s rookie year and Altanta won. Bad day. We won’t be at this game but I hope to watch a beat down just for that.

  5. E. Wolf December 7, 2014

    Holy Fuck, the Saints are getting killed How did we lost to that team? This should guarantee that whoever wins that team will be 7-9, maybe 6-10. What the fuck.

    1. pf4l December 8, 2014

      For someone who’s supposedly classically educated. You write at a 4th grade level.

      1. Fritz December 10, 2014

        that’s not him, can’t you tell?

  6. Savage57 December 7, 2014

    As I read the smack, I’m watching Carolina put a beatdown on the Saints at the Superdome.

    Goan be way closer than people think, but still a win.

    1. Savage57 December 7, 2014

      Forgot this. When I saw that House was ‘covering’ Julio Jones, I called my bookie and put $10K on the Falcons and the points.

      Guy is going to be turned into a bitch Monday night.

      1. Andrew Chitko December 8, 2014

        I predict a big game out of Julio, but it’s not going to be Plaxico and Al Harris out there either. Julio will get his but I don’t know if that makes me feel all giggly about the spread just because of that. Good luck…I hope you got an inflated number betting in Wisconsin.

  7. Bwalker December 7, 2014

    It’s funny, atlanta fans don’t hate packers fans but some people here are real salty. Btw the king of check downs is top 5 in average passes down the field, with no running game and a terrible o-line and the most drops by any receiving core lol

  8. Arcturus December 7, 2014

    Sherman should have made another lap.

  9. Andy December 7, 2014

    For me the key is the fact that not only are the pack unbeatable at home, but also the Falcons are compete junk outside of their crumby little dome. I do expect an ass kicking, simply because the falcons secondary can’t match up with Jordy or Cobb.

  10. jtmax December 8, 2014

    Key on defense is to put physical guys in there to stop Jackson. Hawk should not be in the lineup or he’ll get bulldozed over often.

    On offense, mix it up with Lacy catching the ball and Cobb in backfield. These changups really gets playmakers open for big gains. Can’t get complacent and play vanilla. We just need to finish them by half-time to give our banged up Oline rest and CM3 and Peppers rest.

  11. rebelgb December 8, 2014

    LOLOL! Holy Shit Monty thank you! I needed a fucking laugh today. Good stuff!

    Pack 45, Atlanta 24

  12. rebelgb December 8, 2014

    Even my wife thought the escort line was hilarious, and she generally lacks a sense of humor.

  13. UFudgePackers December 9, 2014

    The Falcons would have beat the Packers at home. They ran all over the packer D in the second half. You guys have some serious holes and your analysis is a bit too arrogant and disrespectful. Julio schooled you last night and had the Falcon defense been above crap they would have killed the overrated Packers.

  14. Rich C December 9, 2014

    If they wouldn’t have been up by 24 at half maybe the foot wouldn’t have come off the gas pedal…… Take your over priced, shitty team with no high draft picks in the next two years, back to that sweltering arm pit! Hope you enjoyed your beating!!!!