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Bears Fans Stabbed Because They Want to be Packers Fans

Chicago Bears fans

You know there’s only one thing that can be said here — typical Chicago Bears fans.

Let me just try to recount this lunacy as succinctly as possible.

The Bears lose to the Dallas Cowboys on Thursday night. Big surprise. Two Bears fans get stabbed in the parking lot after the game. It is initially reported that they were stabbed by a group of Cowboys fans.

Well, on Friday we learned that the two Bears fans were stabbed by… wait for it… other Bears fans!

Because… OF FUCKING COURSE!

You KNOW this story can only get better.

What provoked this stabbing, you ask?

One of the Bears fans who got stabbed says it was because he said he wished he were a Green Bay Packers fan.

“I was saying the Packers are awesome this year, why can’t I be born a Packers fan?”

Well, naturally that caused another Bears fan to throw a beer, which hit him right in the face. Then things got stabby.

I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned here, but I don’t know what the hell it is. Oh, wait… yes I do. It’s that Bears fans are bunch of fucking idiots.

It probably will not surprise you to find out that all parties involved here were drinking. The victims’ injuries were not serious and, much like the Bears defense, the perps are nowhere to be found.

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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9 Comments

  1. kato December 6, 2014

    Hahaha. Living up by Chicago this very thing does worry me a bit. Some fans are batshit crazy. I love the packers but would never think of assaulting someone or destroying their property. On another note one of my friends that is a bears fan wants to be a packers fan as well.

  2. Rick December 6, 2014

    The craziest, most immature fan I have ever met was a Bears fan. He was a friend of a friend and he took me to this guy’s house. Big mistake. Right of the bat he sees me wearing my Packers jersey and says I’m not welcomed. My friend convinces me to stay. Later on, the Bears lose and he goes nuts. Breaks furniture and kicks everyone out and outside the house you can still hear glad breaking and him screaming. Never again. Fuck Bears fans. All of them.

  3. E. Wolf December 6, 2014

    The headline is missing. The guys in question did not actually say they want to be Packers fans or were thinking of turning on their colors.
    I have mixed feelings about this. On its face its pretty despicable. On the other hand though, if more Packer fans had some sort of semblance of this level of intolerance, we would not have suffered the turncoat syndrome a few years ago as we had. You know, those people wearing both Vikings and Packers gear at the same time, or people who cut up Packers and Vikings jerseys to create a custom made Favre one.

  4. Shawn Neuser December 6, 2014

    Stabbing??

    VERY disappointing for Chicago fans.

    This is CHICAGO. “We shoots. That’s how it is when you are true to your roots.” – Ice Cube

    1. the real russ letlow December 6, 2014

      yea, I was thinking the same thing. Those chumps are pussies. Real Chicago thugs shoot ’em up. No time for knives.

      1. Savage57 December 7, 2014

        Just another reason to hate the Bears and Bears fans.

        Bring a knife to a gunfight.

    2. E. Wolf December 6, 2014

      Not even really a stabbing. The victims were laughing about it in the ambulance.

  5. Howard December 6, 2014

    Yea, they probably had an accident with a pair of blunt nose scissors while cutting up bear and Packer jerseys to make one of those jersey abominations.

  6. NYCPackerBacker December 6, 2014

    Hahahaha, all the VaGiants fans I know want to be Packers fans this year as well in NY.