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Jabari Price is the Perfect Minnesota Viking

Jabari Price

Jabari Price may just be a rookie, but he already has the look of a Minnesota Vikings’ legend, joining such greats as Onterrio Smith, Bryant McKinnie and Randy Moss.

In other words, complete and total dopes who don’t know their heads from their ass.

Price was watching himself some Forrest Gump on Saturday. He was very confused by Lt. Dan. First he had legs. Then he didn’t!

It was then explained that Gary Sinise, who played Lt. Dan, does indeed have legs.

It probably should be noted that Price went to North Carolina, where attending class is optional. Like I said, the perfect Minnesota Viking.

By the way, those turds beat that team from D.C. today. Way to go, Bob Griffin!


Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. ferris November 2, 2014

    There is no cure for dumb. Maybe the answer should have been yes he do have legs.

    1. Kozak November 2, 2014

      “Yes he do have legs. They just be little bitty legs and shit”.

  2. Savage57 November 3, 2014

    Holy shit! This dudes Twitter account had to be hacked, because nobody can be that dumb, can they?

    But if it didn’t, and he is, then he’s playing on the perfect team for him.

    Skol, Vikings!

  3. Howard November 3, 2014

    I think you have to sit Price down,and with compassion explain to him that Tom and Jerry, the road Runner, and Spongbob Squarepants are not real. If that does not work and it probably will not then the next step is explain that even though all the Vikings fans and players believe they will win the Super Bowl each year it is just make believe. It will never happen. That should jar some reality into the young man.

  4. Don Q November 3, 2014

    He probably thinks that the Sun revolves around the Erf.

  5. Cheesecurds November 6, 2014

    It’s worth noticing that he doesn’t even know how to spell the title of the movie he’s watching.