As you probably already know, the NFL — that arbiter of discipline and upholder of justice (except when it comes to beating women) — has doled out punishment to Minnesota Vikings great and confessed, but remorseless child abuser Adrian Peterson.
The Purple Jesus has been suspended by the league without pay for at least the remainder of the season. The earliest Peterson would be eligible for reinstatement is April. Peterson, of course, plans to appeal the decision.
However, we’re pretty sure all of you clowns who had stashed AP on your fantasy team’s bench can push the release button now.
Peterson stands to lose more than $4 million if the suspension is upheld. As we pointed out when he was first added to the exempt list nine weeks ago, Peterson has lost nothing in terms of salary so far.
That’s right. The Vikings paid him to sit around and smoke weed for the past nine weeks because they’re the Vikings.
Now, obviously the Green Bay Packers play the Vikings this weekend. Even if, for some inconceivable reason, Peterson had been reinstated this week, he probably wasn’t going to face the Packers. And there’s a decent chance he won’t be facing the Packers ever again.
Rumor has it, Peterson won’t be back with the Vikings. They’re expected to release him after the season, so it’s a good thing they paid him for most of this season.
We imagine someone will give Peterson a job. Dallas has been mentioned as a possibility, since Peterson is from Texas. It seems like he’d make a good Oakland Raider though, doesn’t it?
Most importantly, it appears highly unlikely that AP will remain in the NFC North.
Beyond that, he’s currently 29. You’ve surely heard of the wall running backs hit at 30. Maybe it won’t happen to Peterson, but some pretty great backs have suddenly turned mediocre after turning 30. Recent examples include LaDainian Tomlinson and Ahman Green.
If the Packers see Peterson again, it will likely be a rare meeting with a shell of his former self.
So long, old nemesis and symbol of everything Minnesota Vikings.