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Vikings DT Tom Johnson Got Tasered Because, Vikings

Tom Johnson

How did Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle Tom Johnson spend his weekend after his team got slaughtered by the Green Bay Packers? Why, up in the club, of course!

Celebrating!

Wait, I totally know where this is going. I’ve heard this story a bunch of times before, you’re certainly thinking.

Well, not quite like this.

Yes, Minnesota Vikings players will never learn nothing good happens in the club when you’re a professional athlete. Because they’re Vikings. They’re just that dumb. So they’ll keep hanging out in the club.

And they’ll keep doing stupid shit in the club. Again, because they’re Vikings. They’re just that dumb.

What did Johnson do?

Refused to leave after closing time.

Why? Who knows, but he was repeatedly asked to leave and wouldn’t, so the cops came and pepper sprayed him and then Tasered his dumb ass.

According to the police report, the 30-year-old Johnson was repeatedly told to leave the building and he refused. When he resisted officers, they used a chemical irritant on him and forced him outside. Once outside, he was uncooperative and police used a stun gun on him.

Hahahahahahahaha!

What a stupid fuck. But would you expect anything less?

No. No you wouldn’t.

Johnson will be arraigned on disorderly conduct and trespassing charges on Oct. 17.

Skol Vikings!

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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8 Comments

  1. MGP October 7, 2014

    Vikings Player of the Year!

    1. Kozak October 7, 2014

      Not unless he beats a kid or two.

  2. Savage57 October 7, 2014

    WTF? Not that I care one way or the other, but when the Shitfucks are evaluating players is the first condition to be considered a single-digit Wonderlic score?

    Player arrests is the only area where the Vikings consistently lead the NFL.

    Skol, indeed.

  3. Abe Frohman October 7, 2014

    In a players only meeting yesterday, Johnson and AP were voted as team captains for this coming week’s game. Said team spokesman Christian Ponder “Both men set the tone for this team. What’s important. How to act so as to set an example for others. These two men epitomize the virtues that are important to Vikings nation. SKOL.”

    When notified that AP was suspended, Ponder replied “umm….well yeah. Okay. So, what’s your point?”

  4. Cheese October 7, 2014

    Tasers and stun guns are not the same thing. Why train officers to properly take someone down when you can just give them a bunch of shock devices? Lazy pigs.

  5. Tucson Packer October 7, 2014

    From an early age I learned that just because an area is closed/no longer open the obvious solution would be to stay in said area until it opens again.

  6. Shawn Neuser October 7, 2014

    Let’s keep it real here.

    I believe it is written somewhere in the Viking handbook. You are not a true Viking until you have been tasered, busted for drugs, or had a parking officer on the hood of your car.

    1. The Money Mike October 8, 2014

      You forgot beating your child and eating out a hooker on the love boat