Total Douche Thinks Jim Schwartz Pulled Total Douche Move
From the It Takes One to Know One Files, total douche (and Detroit Lions wide receiver) Golden
Taint Tate says total douche (and Buffalo Bills defensive coordinator and former Lions coach) Jim Schwartz pulled a total douche move getting carried off the field on Sunday.
If you recall, Total Douche Schwartz was hoisted onto the shoulders of two Bills defenders after Buffalo stormed back to beat the Lions in Detroit on Sunday. The Bills, led by none other than Neck Beard himself.
So, yes, getting carried off was obviously a douche move. What makes it even douchier is that Total Douche Schwartz told his players he wanted to be carried off if they won.
Golden Tate on with Ryan and Rico ripping Schwartz on the shoulders. "It's a terrible gesture. It was planned? That's a total douche move."
— Tom Leyden (@TomLeyden) October 7, 2014
It wasn’t some sort of spur of the moment thing. It was totally premeditated, which is fucking lame, and also inches Total Douche Schwartz that much closer to taking the NFL’s douche mantle away from Total Douche Jim Harbaugh.
Man, if those two guys were in a room together, whoever else was in the room would be dead. Death by drowning in a pool of douche.
Now, Total Douche
Taint Tate obviously plays for those Lions, but this is his first season in Detroit. As you’ll surely recall, Total Douche Taint Tate used to play for the Seattle Seahawks, where he engineered the all-time total douche play.
I speak, obviously, of the Fail Mary, where Total Douche
Taint Tate not only blatantly and illegally pushed Sam Shields in the back and out of the play, but then went on to claim he caught a ball that M.D. Jennings intercepted.
So if ever there was an authority on being a total douche, it’s Total Douche