From the It Takes One to Know One Files, total douche (and Detroit Lions wide receiver) Golden
Taint Tate says total douche (and Buffalo Bills defensive coordinator and former Lions coach) Jim Schwartz pulled a total douche move getting carried off the field on Sunday.
If you recall, Total Douche Schwartz was hoisted onto the shoulders of two Bills defenders after Buffalo stormed back to beat the Lions in Detroit on Sunday. The Bills, led by none other than Neck Beard himself.
So, yes, getting carried off was obviously a douche move. What makes it even douchier is that Total Douche Schwartz told his players he wanted to be carried off if they won.
Golden Tate on with Ryan and Rico ripping Schwartz on the shoulders. "It's a terrible gesture. It was planned? That's a total douche move."
— Tom Leyden (@TomLeyden) October 7, 2014
It wasn’t some sort of spur of the moment thing. It was totally premeditated, which is fucking lame, and also inches Total Douche Schwartz that much closer to taking the NFL’s douche mantle away from Total Douche Jim Harbaugh.
Man, if those two guys were in a room together, whoever else was in the room would be dead. Death by drowning in a pool of douche.
Now, Total Douche
Taint Tate obviously plays for those Lions, but this is his first season in Detroit. As you’ll surely recall, Total Douche Taint Tate used to play for the Seattle Seahawks, where he engineered the all-time total douche play.
I speak, obviously, of the Fail Mary, where Total Douche
Taint Tate not only blatantly and illegally pushed Sam Shields in the back and out of the play, but then went on to claim he caught a ball that M.D. Jennings intercepted.
So if ever there was an authority on being a total douche, it’s Total Douche
Douche’s throwing douche’s at each other. This is about as entertaining as it gets!!! They get a taste of their own medicine! I love it!! Can’t WAIT for Week 17!!
This is a great website, and is what internet journalism was meant to be.
This was a planned move? Seriously? Yeah it escalates Schwarz higher in Douchedom – but the category is Douche Assistants because the lame ass Schwarz douche is a coordinator job, unable to hold a head coach position. So really, he’d need to get promoted to compete with Jim “Khaki” Harbaugh for King of Douches.
We need another category for the Douche who hired Scwarz in the first place. And the Buffalo Bills head coach should bitch-slap Scwarz for such a douche move.
I saw this on the Mothership.go.com earlier and remember thinking that they could have titled the article: “Turd Calls Fellow Turd a Bigger Turd.”
Seriously, just a couple of turds, doing turdly things. This is news now.
sinkers or floaters?
thanks for the laughs guys….
Keep it coming….
My 2¢ worth : Butterball’s got nothing on Andrew “Oversized Leprechaun” Luck when it comes to neckbeards…
Add the douche Kittens fan(s) that shot green laser at eyes of “Shaggy” Orton and holder Colton Schmidt during game…
Curious to see how NFL will prevent copycating …..
I didnt hear about the laser thing. What a classy fanbase, sad to say im not all that surprised
After Schwartz fails at every level, I can imagine him crushing some 9 year olds in Pee Wee football after he asks them carry him off.
We need a string on Luck’s neck beard. Totally hideous. What I want to know is how he managed to film The Hobbit trilogy and still manage training camp. C’mon, we all know he has to have hair on top of his feet.
The following should be loudly announced with an English accent:
“Lord and Lady Douche Bag”
Guys like these two jizz-gobbling P’sOS make you wonder why more players in the NFL aren’t carrying shivs and ice picks.
A douche calling out a douche has to have a catchy phrase.