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That’s Not the Belt, You Idiots!

Lamarr Houston and Stephen Tulloch injuries

A couple of idiots who play in the NFC North injured themselves celebrating sacks this year. Chicago Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston did it last Sunday. In the fourth quarter of a blowout loss, no less. Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch did it against the Packers earlier this year.

Both of them, torn ACLs. Done for the season. Good riddance.

Now, Tulloch was trying to do Aaron Rodgers’ move. The championship belt. Because the Lions were playing the Packers and Tulloch is an unoriginal dick.

Houston is clearly not doing the belt and why would he be? The Bears were playing the Patriots when he got injured.

That’t not important to State Farm though. Because they pay Aaron Rodgers to do commercials for them, they have taken the belt and redubbed it the Discount Double Check. And because corporate America told you so, many of you have lapped that shit right up and now refer to the belt as the “Discount Double Check.”

Anyway, in light of the aforementioned injuries, State Farm has something to tell you.

“It’s very unfortunate that these players injured themselves while celebrating, but it is our belief that the Discount Double Check is not inherently dangerous,” said a State Farm spokeswoman. “In fact, it can be used to help you save money on insurance when performed correctly. We encourage all athletes to celebrate responsibly.”

Ah, yes. Nothing like using someone else’s misfortune to promote your company!

I mean, I don’t care in this case because we’re talking about a couple of shitbags that no one likes. This idiotic shillery is still unwelcome though.

It might be mildly tolerable if both of those shitbags were actually doing the move in question, State Farm.


Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Remedy October 30, 2014

    That State Farm response is actually pretty great

  2. Cheese October 30, 2014

    I agree, funny response. Not sure why the ridiculous amount of negativity about it.

    Plus, people are getting so sloppy with this title belt gesture you can’t even tell what the hell they’re doing anymore. Most of the time it looks like they’re imitating a giant inflated innertube instead of a belt. The wrestling legends are not impressed.

  3. Chad Lundberg October 30, 2014

    In one paragraph you say it’s despicable that the State Farm co. uses these injuries as a means to promote themselves, and to an extent I see what you mean. Not my point however.

    You clearly stated after you said that these players were out for the year, “Good Riddance”.

    So it’s classless to use these unfortunate injuries as a means to promote a product, but it’s totally cool to wish harm on players just because you don’t like them. Because of a game of Football. Got it.

    I know this site is the only one that just says it like it is, but really? Unless a player is someone who plays dirty (Brandon Meriweather) or is a complete waste of oxygen off the field, I would never endorse someone being tremendously injured over a football game.

  4. Carlos Goodman October 31, 2014

    Bitch tits Monty strikes again!

    1. Fritz from LaCrosse WI November 1, 2014

      i would never want a player to get injured either. that said, i don’t see the harm in Jim Harbaugh colliding skull to cranium with pete carroll while dodging a postgame handshake. as long as it didn’t result in anything more serious than them both having to take the participant’s concussion protocol, as they both need what little IQ they possess.

  5. gort November 1, 2014

    What is shillery?

  6. Savage57 November 1, 2014

    That’s the high-pitched, mewling sound that Hillary makes when Willie’s Willie goes off.