You might think with such a lopsided Green Bay Packers win that the 10 things that jumped out in this game must all be positive. For the most part, you’d be right, but number one on this list got stuck in my craw way more than the other nine. So here they are, in the order they entered my brain after watching the game… the 10 things that stuck out to me in the slaughter of the Minnesota Vikings.
1. Nobody puts Cobby in a Corner
When I saw it the first time, I thought it was nothing more than a spontaneous celebration between two teammates. When I saw it a second time, I cursed under my breath and convinced myself I had to be mistaken. Well, I have since noticed it happen a couple more times and now I’m left to ponder (word play) just how the hell it came to pass that David Bakhtiari would hoist Randall Cobb up like Johnny Castle lifted Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman whenever Cobb scores a touchdown. Furthermore, as I dive deeper down the rabbit hole searching for answers, I’m left to wonder how the conversation went that led to this rather bizarre celebration ritual. Because let’s face it… if it wasn’t spontaneous then it must have been planned.
Cobb: Hi David.
Bakhtiari: Oh, hi Randy. How’s it going?
Cobb: It’s going really well today since I just got done watching my favorite movie of all time.
Bakhtiari: And what’s that?
Cobb: Dirty Dancing.
Bakhtiari: Shut the hell up!
Cobb: (ashamed) Don’t make fun! I love that movie.
Bakhtiari: I’m not making fun… that’s totally my favorite movie too!
Cobb: Nah ah. Really? Wow!
Bakhtiari: You know what would be awesome?
Cobb: What’s that?
Bakhtiari: If we did the ‘lift’ scene every time you score a touchdown.
Cobb: Oh my gawd. We should totally do that!
Bakhtiari: Well, we can!
Cobb: Let’s go practice it in the Hutson Center right now.
Bakhtiari: That sounds swell!
Cobb: (singing) Now I’ve… had…
Bakhtiari: (singing) …the time of my life…
Cobb and Bakhtiari: (singing together) And I owe it all to youuuuu!
2. Green Julius
We have to cut the big man some slack on his first ever Lambeau Leap attempt, right? I mean after all, no one ever sticks the first one. It just doesn’t happen. And besides, big ole Julius Peppers ran a good long way before making it into the end zone.
As he approached the front row of the bleachers he appeared totally undaunted. The man who is now the only player in NFL history to record 100 sacks and 10 interceptions might have even gotten a little cocky, opting for a very casual two-step run up. It probably looked easy. Nope. Instead he looked like he just got draped over his mama’s knee and was about to get a whooping. The fans get an assist on this debacle for not attempting to hoist Peppers up. Then again, he’s like 6’8″ and 300 pounds. Maybe the front row was more concerned with the upright position of their $9 beers than Peppers.
That’s ok big man! No one sticks the landing on the first try. It’s all about next time… preferably in about 10 days.
3. Never Say Never
Congratulations Davante Adams on your first NFL touchdown. That was really a nice… WHOOPS! He just fell flat on his ass. Although Adams did suffer an embarrassing slip and fall, he recovered nicely to be what might be the first Packers player in history to achieve what no other Packer could on his first try: the front row. Although we have to subtract style points for the fall that preceded his successful leap, we’ve also gotta give him props.
I feel like maybe a few years ago a Packers player nailed the leap on the first effort, but I can’t remember if that actually happened or not. Anyone? Anyone?
4. Defense is in chic
This is a top five defense in the making. It’s been a long time since I have been personally excited about the defense taking the field, but I’ve been looking forward to it for the past couple weeks, maybe even more so than the offense. The pass rush is starting to get off, our secondary has to be the best in the league or at least close, and our inside linebackers are even stepping it up… you know, until they re-insert Brad Jones, which probably will still happen. This defense will have its issues stopping the run, but I think they will improve as the season goes on. The Packers are just going to be so damn good stopping the pass that I believe the attention to stopping the run will only increase.
5. Jekyll and Hyde?
I don’t know what it is, but sometimes Micah Hyde just looks like he’s in slow motion. I think a lot of that has to do with him being a very smooth and fluent runner. He just makes it look effortless when he’s out there. But Thursday night versus the Vikings, Hyde stood out as a man who found some much needed reckless abandon in a dark alley. He didn’t appear to be gliding around the field versus the Vikings. Micah Hyde was flying to the ball and hitting like he meant it.
Hyde registered six tackles, including five solo ones as he did his best HHCD impersonation all night long. A few weeks back we commented that Ha Ha was the only guy who was flying to the ball and willing to stick his nose in there, but Micah Hyde just did it for one game. Perhaps our number one draft choice is starting to rub off on those around him. It’s only been one game for Micah bringing the serious intensity. Can he do it on a consistent basis?
6. Ok A.J.
Like it or not, A.J. Hawk is playing pretty well. Now, granted that’s not a Pro Bowl level. In fact, it’s only a small step above serviceable, which previously may have been the ceiling for this much-maligned former first-round draft pick. Nonetheless, in addition to the numerous tackles he makes 7 or 8 yards down field when the damage has already been done, Hawk is also making plays in the backfield for a loss, putting hits on quarterbacks, and making more impact-type plays. Although we know his game has its share of shortcomings, which will be prominently displayed for all to see, he’s also making more splash plays than he has in the past. And since the guy is tough as nails and will never miss game action due to injury, that’s a trade off I can live with.
Sidebar: Maybe there’s a correlation between a loose-fitting helmet that is prone to fall off and staying incredibly healthy?
Knock on wood.
7. Make it respectable
Did the Vikings really kick a field goal down 42-7 with over 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter? Why yes they most certainly did. And it wasn’t a 4th and goal from the 23-yard line or some absurd situation where the likelihood of success was in the single digit percentile. This was 4th and goal from the Packers’ 8-yard line. Well, they followed that up with an onside kick though, right? No siree, Bob, they did not. For all intents and purposes, Mike Zimmer quit trying to win with almost a whole quarter left to play. What’s even more ironic than moronic is that the Vikings would face the exact same situation with 14 seconds left… 4th and goal from the 8… and go for it. I mean why not just make it 42-13 at that point?
Everyone thought Zimmer was going to bring a culture and attitude with him to the Vikings. He did. It’s called giving up.
8. They never learn
No matter how many times we see that double tight end formation, bootleg with Jordy Nelson executing the double move on a safety who has no hope of keeping up with him, it just never gets old. Although that turned out to be Jordy’s lone catch for the week, there’s a reasonable chance he’ll still be leading the league in receiving yardage at the conclusion of this week’s games.
9. Eddie didn’t tell us to relax but…
I was concerned something wasn’t quite right with Eddie Lacy. I know the blocking hasn’t been consistent, but his lack of decisiveness in taking what was in front of him had been frustrating to watch. Well whatever was wrong with Eddie, if there was anything wrong with Eddie, we can all breathe easy for the moment. However, last year’s offensive rookie of the year needs to bring that fire and aggressive attitude every week. The long weekend off should help everyone recover.
10. Nah man that ain’t me. I’m from Buffalo
E.J. Manuel got the yank in favor of Kyle Orton. Let’s hope the old man still has it. Go Bills!