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Oooooh, Look at All the Gunslingers!

Monty McMahon by Monty McMahon
August 27, 2014
in Uncategorized
Reading Time: 1 min read
15

Sports Illustrated really knocked it out of the park with their NFL preview covers this year. They’re all about gunslingers, and those “gunslingers” also happen to be some of the dopiest looking motherfuckers on the planet.

I would like to meet the guy who said, “Hey, we definitely need Nick Foles for this shoot!”

Probably also the same guy who said, “Matt Ryan’s non-offensive wholesome brand of bland is bound to sell millions of magazines!”

Yeah, that’s right. Matt Ryan is suddenly a gunslinger. Because gunslinging has devolved to firing a check down to the running back.

But hell, Aaron Rodgers, QB1 is on one of these covers. That’s all that matters.

Whoa, partner!

That is somehow not true. Nope. The NFC North is represented by none other than Cutty! and Butterball.

I think that would make a great situation comedy, don’t you? Butterball with his constant keg stand-related hijinks and Cutty! just being like, dooooooooooon’t caaaaaaaaaaaaaaare! Gonna go gunsling another one into Kristin.

I think that’s ratings gold!

Also gold, are these cover shots. Thankfully, we were able to get some insight into these guys’ methods.

Drew Brees and Matt Ryan

Russell Wilson and Colin Kaepernick

Tony Romo and Nick Foles

Jay Cutler and Matthew Stafford

Tags: Colin KaepernickDrew BreesJay CutlerMatt RyanMatthew StaffordNick FolesRussell Wilsonsports comedyTony Romo
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Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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Comments 15

  1. Avatar for Ivomitonvikingfans Ivomitonvikingfans says:
    9 years ago

    Shit. When did SI merge with The Advocate? These pics actually make Cutty look like less of an asswipe than the others. That’s tough to do.

  2. Avatar for GBslacker GBslacker says:
    9 years ago

    “Rad??”

    Who the fuck says that anymore?

    It’s only slightly less creepy than your (ever constant) use of the word: “broad.”

    Where do you come up with this shit?
    mothballedslang.com ??

  3. Avatar for DD DD says:
    9 years ago

    They are saving Rodgers for his groundbreaking special issue covershoot with Michael Sam.

    • Avatar for therealChuckywasCecil therealChuckywasCecil says:
      9 years ago

      and you can’t wait to jerk off to it

  4. Avatar for Nacho Libre Nacho Libre says:
    9 years ago

    DD, eat a fat one. Fuck both those fags russell Wilson and Squidward.

  5. Avatar for Don Q Don Q says:
    9 years ago

    Michael Sam isn’t a Quarterback DD. You’re sucha silly sally. This article is about gunslingers, pay closer attention fuckin’ guy.

  6. Avatar for J.B. J.B. says:
    9 years ago

    This was some funny shit. Well done.

    And for the record, I was just thinking how funny I think it ismthat all women are referred to as “broads” on this site.

    Awesome.

  7. Avatar for J.B. J.B. says:
    9 years ago

    This was some funny shit. Well done.

    And for the record, I was just thinking how funny I think it ismthat all women are referred to as “broads” on this site.

    Awesome.

    • Avatar for Nurseratchett@work Nurseratchett@work says:
      9 years ago

      Some of us broads don’t mind it; prefer it to Ho’s any day!

  8. Avatar for The Money Mike The Money Mike says:
    9 years ago

    “I think that would make a great situation comedy, don’t you? Butterball with his constant keg stand-related hijinks and Cutty! just being like, dooooooooooon’t caaaaaaaaaaaaaaare! Gonna go gunsling another one into Kristin.”…I imagined this in my head and almost spilled my fucking coffee lol

  9. Avatar for Nurseratchett@work Nurseratchett@work says:
    9 years ago

    Thanks for making me throw up a little in my mouth. Looks like Cutty’s testicles have returned to his abdomen…if they ever descended at all.

    If they had cut Kapernick’s head off in the picture, he would have looked pretty hot. Oh, well, bag him before you do him, ladies!

    GO PACK GO!!!

  10. Avatar for Howard Howard says:
    9 years ago

    For some strange reason the only thing that runs through my mind after seeing these pictures if the WKRP Cincinnati show turkeys away. ” as god is my witness I really thought turkey’s could fly. OH THE HUMANITY”.

  11. Avatar for 13time1265 13time1265 says:
    9 years ago

    Little troll bitch DD lol

  12. Avatar for 13time1265 13time1265 says:
    9 years ago

    Thet might want to check Kappy Bitch for PEDs

  13. Avatar for SEAHAWKSOWNYOU SEAHAWKSOWNYOU says:
    9 years ago

    Russell Wilson > Aaron Rodgers.

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