Type to search

Matt Cassel is the Vikings’ Guy

Matt Cassel

We know you were wondering who was going to be pretending to be an NFL quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings this year. The answer is, Matt Cassel.

Cassel was able to fend off the pretty much nonexistent charge of rookie Teddy Bridgewater, who the Vikings drafted at the end of the first round. Does Bridgewater have Brian Brohm written all over him?

We have no idea because we don’t watch the shit brand of football that the Vikings play. But who else could he be?

Old Teddy Bridgegame was 26-of-40 for 266 yards, 2 touchdowns and 0 INTs this preseason. Cassel was 26-of-39 for 367 yards, 1 touchdown and 1 INT.

What do those stats tell us? Who cares!

These assholes play for the Vikings. Both of them are shit.

Oh, but what about Christian Ponder?

Hey, remember when the Vikings reached to pick Ponder in the first round a few years ago thinking he was their franchise quarterback?


Anyway, Mr. Steele wasn’t really even given a chance to compete.

So the Vikings will roll into the 2014 season with the imposing Matt Cassel as their quarterback. Did you know this guy once got benched for Brady Quinn?

It’s true!

However, surely Cassel is just the man to lead the Vikings to the promised land. This is finally the year, Vikings fans! You’re totally going to the Super Bowl and your going to win it all! On the arm of Matt Cassel!


Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Howard August 25, 2014

    Cassel’s real claim to fame is he was a quarterback for USC who never was a starter in his career in college. He did however backup that future hall of fame QB Matt Leinart in college. Leinart had a whopping 18 career starts in six NFL seasons. Maybe the Vikings should be signing Leinart as I believe he is available.

  2. Les Steckel August 25, 2014

    Vikings all the way baby!!!! This is our year!!!!! Yeah baby!!!! You can take it to the bank!!!!! Packers suck man! You guys haven’t won anything in like….4 years.

  3. rebelgb August 26, 2014

    I thought Tim Tebow had the worst throwing motion ever seen in an NFL QB until I saw Bridgewater throw a ball in pre-season. Geezus what the hell? What is it with Minnesota reaching for underwhelming black QB’s? I know the state pretends to be all “progressive” and shit, but arent the other 51 black guys on your team enough to show you are all “up for the cause”?

  4. BZ in BA August 26, 2014

    Bridgewater doesn’t have what it takes mentally. I think that the only guy I remember that seemed dumber in an interview was Vince Young, another guy that is eternally linked to Matt Leinart and is also no longer in the league…