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This Bro is Awesome and Is Totally Getting Laid

Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl champions tattoo

This is apparently the thing for idiot sports fans to do now — get a tattoo proclaiming your team champions for the upcoming season.

I don’t know when this first happened, but it seems like it was a year or two ago. Then, it was somewhat of an interesting novelty. We all said, “That guy sure is a moron, but he’s a moron with balls!”

Then, like anything that idiots do, other idiots started copying it. Because fuck originality! We’re idiots!

Certainly there are at least five people unaware that some other bozo already perpetrated this stunt and they will totally worship me for my ballsiness and badassery!

Yeah… you’re totally right!

A couple months ago some delusional moron from Detroit proclaimed the Detroit Lions as Super Bowl champs this season, via tattoo. Now, some shitbird from Dallas is proclaiming the Cowboys Super Bowl champs via tattoo.

Not just any shitbird though, a total bro.

Note the backwards bro cap just like his hero, Brony Romo, the bro squint that tells you he smoked an awesome spliff 20 minutes ago and the sweet-ass earring that may be a hoop or may just be a rubber band hanging from his ear in totally non-ironic fashion because he has no idea who Captain Lou Albano or anyone not in a frat is.

It’s true! Your Cowboys and their awesome defense are totally winning it all this year!

And you, this is the year that you get all kinds of pussy! And not that welfare check/baby mama pussy like before! We’re talking low-rent strippers and that girl that works at 7-Eleven!

This is your year, bro!

(these guys)

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Nacho dan August 13, 2014

    These idiots dont seem to know that this is the 2014 season. No ragrats bra!

  2. BZ in BA August 13, 2014

    Maybe he will be able to get it fixed later, turning the 1 into a 4 so that it will read 2045….

  3. E. Wolf August 13, 2014

    I think the first guy who did this was a Seahawks fan. The difference is the lions and cowboys have no chance.

  4. therealChuckywasCecil August 13, 2014

    Both this guy and the the Lions fan have 2015 as the championship season buying themselves an additional year of abuse for their stupidity.

  5. Garth August 13, 2014

    Does he just keep moving the date up by one year after each season is over till he gets it right?

  6. iltarion August 13, 2014

    The Cowboys!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

    Yeah, and they’ll be facing the Raiders, I’m sure.

  7. C.C. August 14, 2014

    Great idea, since there’s a zero percent chance of that happening.

  8. Kato August 14, 2014

    Tony Romo and his broken back\inability to throw the ball 40 yards will lead them to the super bowl….hahahaha

  9. [email protected] August 14, 2014

    Everything’s bigger in Texas….including the idiocy….

  10. 13time1265 August 14, 2014