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These New Detroit Lions Are Cute

Detroit Lions tight end Eric Ebron

As you are probably faintly aware, the city of Detroit has a football team. They’re called the Detroit Lions. Like the rest of the teams in the NFL, they were allowed to draft some guys from the college ranks this past May. One of those guys was tight end Eric Ebron.

Unfortunately, he’s completely unaware of what being a Detroit Lion means.

It means losing and lots of it.

Like every group of rookies selected to attend the league’s rookie symposium, the Lions’ rookies got to tour the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Presumably, they learned who Alex Karras and Dick Night Train Lane — probably the only good Lions not named Barry Sanders — were while they were there.

They also got to see the Vince Lombardi Trophy — the one that will be awarded to the Packers when they win the Super Bowl following this season. And while other rookies were snapping pictures with the trophy, the Lions’ rookies refused.

“We don’t even want to get near it,” Ebron said. “We don’t want to jinx it.”

Hahahaha… jinx it…

Isn’t that cute?

Considering the Detroit Lions have never won a Super Bowl and probably never will, there’s nothing to jinx. The jinx has been in since before your time, son.

You play for the Lions. That’s the closest you’re ever going to get to the Lombardi Trophy. You should have taken advantage of the opportunity.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Nacho dan July 9, 2014

    There’s no such thing as a jinx. Stupid people and there superstitions. The Lions just suck and that’s life, and life is good in Green Bay.

  2. Howard July 9, 2014

    Once Detroit gets to week 17 this year in Green Bay and the Lion rookies see the futility of reaching the Super Bowl they can stop by the Packer hall of fame ( if open) and get a picture with four Lombardis.

  3. Howard July 9, 2014

    Or if not open this season they can wait till the 2015 season and get their pictures with all five.

  4. C.C July 10, 2014

    Bobby Layne..

  5. geopack July 10, 2014

    The Lions are literally the longest suffering, most pathetic team in the league. They are the lone NFC team to have have never played in a Super Bowl. Only the Texans, Jaguars and Browns in the AFC have never been; but the first two have existed less than two decades. And the Browns at least won a championship in the 60’s.

    They’ve only made one conference championship game ever, 23 seasons ago, and got blown out by 31 points.

    Add in the Sanders debacle, asshole Suh, asshole Schwarz, dumbass Millen, the winless season; it’s as comical as it gets. You might say every division has its black sheep team, but not this bad. They almost make even the Vikings look competent. Almost.

  6. seanrichardclifton July 10, 2014

    Hey packer fans, BLOW ME!!!! Rogers is going to be Mike Utley’d by Suh this year and then you’ll be at the bottom of the division. I can’t wait. You guys are all fat in that state and all the females look like a cross between a pig and a cow and the males look like a beached Sea Lion with tits! Wisconsin is the worse state in this country, I know I’ve been to them all!!! The LIONS ROCK!!!!

    1. Howard July 10, 2014

      SRC: You have proven me wrong. I have always believed all of the inbred livestock raping hillbillies were Vikings fans. It is obvious their is at least one that must have fallen of the reject cart and you are it. You are probably sitting in your closet in your purple outfit as you are soliciting oral sex.

      As the Lions and Vikings have been sucking hind tit for so long you would have better luck finding some one to blow you on a Lions or Vikings site. Good luck on your quest to discover your preference. Purple or Hawaiian blue? Just come out of the closet SRC.

  7. rebelgb July 10, 2014

    Epic post geopack. Im cutting and pasting that one for future good times. Well done.

    Fucking Lions…sorry ass bitches.

  8. Ed west July 10, 2014

    Lion fan Clifton,
    Enjoy your summer in Detroit this summer. I Hear it’s beautiful this time of year. Affordable real estate. Booming economy. I’m jealous.

  9. Lisa July 10, 2014

    Sean-why are you combing the Packers website for news? Doesn’t your own team’s website have anything to talk about?

  10. Nacho dan July 11, 2014

    Packers lost Rodgers last season and look what happened? Lions choked and handed the division to guess who?