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Just Because: Tim Kurkjian Fails as a Racing Sausage

Tim Kurkjian sausage race

Hey, did you know that it’s BASEBALL season? You should know that it’s baseball season, at least if you live in Wisconsin, because it’s almost July and the Milwaukee Brewers are not 800 games out of first.

In fact, they’re IN FIRST! I know, as a lifelong Brewers fan, I am giddy.

And here is where I will point out that the Chicago Bears of MLB, the St. Louis Cardinals, can suck my fucking ass. Because I know you are wondering, the Chicago Cubs are the Minnesota Vikings of MLB for the same reason the Minnesota Vikings are the Minnesota Vikings.

Their shitbag fans.

Oh, and a whole lot of not winning helps.

Not that the Brewers have ever won a World Series, but still. They’re the good guys. The small market team that (once in a while) could. Almost…

But anyway, since there’s jack shit going on with the Green Bay Packers today and I just got back from Phoenix and don’t feel like making anything up, watch this.

ESPN was in Milwaukee Monday night for the Crew’s game with Washington. ESPN baseball guy Tim Kurkjian was invited to participate in the sausage race.

He did not fare well. Not well at all.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. E. Wolf June 24, 2014

    The Brewers are *NOT* the Packers. Never have been, never could be. How many times have they changed up their unis, let alone their color schemes and logo?
    The Packers would never have some mascot gimmick like Bernie Brewer or that silly kiddie slide he goes down.
    Nor are the Cardinals the Chicago Bears, as they have the second most number of championships second only to the Yankees, who simply buy their championships.
    I like the Cubs, but have resigned myself to the fact that they will never, ever win the World Series. To be a Cubs fan is tantamount to being a St Louus Browns fan. The Tigers are my American league team, to the extent I have not lost interest in baseball altogether.
    I used to really dislike the Brewers, till I went to Green Bay. Wisconsin is a cool place, and Wisconsinites seemed really cool, so I would be happy for Wisconsin if the Brewers won it. BUt there is no comparison to the Pack.

  2. CO Bob June 24, 2014

    Brett Favre!

  3. Howard June 25, 2014

    It is no wonder Tim lost his sausage is hanging to far to the left.

  4. The Money Mike June 25, 2014

    The Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang requires the Brewers and Bucks to be terrible so the Packers can be good, they compliment each other, still the Bucks have a championship under their belt and won it the fastest ever as an expansion team