Type to search

The Colts Have Stolen the Packers’ Touchdown Song

Colts owner Jim Irsay

We normally don’t pay any attention to the Indianapolis Colts, but they’re the only NFL game on television at the moment so we kind of have to. If you haven’t noticed, they’ve gone and stolen the Green Bay Packers touchdown song.

That would be Todd Rundgren’s Bang the Drum All Day.

The Packers have been playing the song after touchdowns since 1985. The Colts, it seems, have just adopted it for the same purposes.


Because they’re a dogshit franchise. Let us count the ways.

  1. The Colts left Baltimore and years and years of tradition… in the middle of the night, no less.
  2. Their ring of honor is such a joke that Jim Harbaugh is in it. Yeah, Jim Fucking Harbaugh — owner of zero 3,000-yard passing seasons.
  3. Their current owner, Jim Irsay, is known more for being a Twitter celebrity than anything else. His daddy handed him the franchise.
  4. One championship. And they beat a Bears team led by Rex Grossman to get it.
  5. They released Peyton Manning, who just set an NFL record with 55 touchdown passes in a season.
  6. They traded their first-round pick for Trent Richardson earlier this season. He finished the season with 458 yards, while averaging 2.9 per carry.
  7. Erik Walden starts for them.
  8. Former receiver Marvin Harrison probably shot someone.
  9. They went 1-15 in 1991.
  10. Their mascot is a fucking horse and not even a full-grown one. A baby fucking horse.
  11. Quick, name me who the Colts rivals are. The Houston Texans?
  12. Robert Irsay, the dick who moved the Colts from Baltimore, actually had to replace his son, Jim, as general manager of the team in 1994 because he was so inept.

I could go on.

This is not a slight against Colts fans or the city of Indianapolis. Great city. Decent fans.

But fuck the Colts as an organization. Pretend all you want. You’ll never be the Green Bay Packers.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Jurgens January 4, 2014


  2. Phatgzus January 4, 2014

    The Rams stole it years before the Colts did, watcha got on them?

  3. Phatgzus January 4, 2014

    And Holy Flatulating Batman, how did the Colts pull that out of their asses? I know the Chiefs lost like half their team to injury, but aren’t those the same backups who almost beat the ravers from Whale’s Vagina? I’m surprised the Elephant Seal hasn’t had multiple coronaries yet.

  4. Ryan January 4, 2014

    As if the ribbongate game last year wasn’t enough where they kept giving the colts pity flags that led to them winning (along with Crosby choking) so the guy who just got leukemia couldn’t possibly lose a couple days later, during pink ribbon month.

  5. Phatgzus January 4, 2014

    Great fuckin’ tune btw; Zombie killin’ music, right Josh?

  6. E. Wolf January 4, 2014

    I noticed this as well. I DENOUNCE it!

  7. Doug January 4, 2014

    You guys just noticed that?

  8. Organicbuzz January 4, 2014

    Don’t let the Colts distract you man. Stay focused on tomorrow. Go Pack!

  9. Ed west January 4, 2014

    Did you see walden follow the rb on that read option play. I had flashbacks!!

  10. Phatgzus January 4, 2014

    Let’s hope that won’t be Lattimore, Neal, Perry, Mulumba, or Jones tomorrow.

  11. Cheese January 4, 2014

    2.) Harbaugh was runner up for MVP behind Favre in either 95 or 96. Weird.
    4.) The Bears still couldn’t win that game even with a kick returned for a touchdown from Hester.
    7.) I’m pretty sure Erik Walden would be starting for the Packers right now if the Colts didn’t throw a ton of money at him. It’s not like our linebackers are any better.

    1. Phatgzus January 4, 2014

      2) 7-5 63.7% 17-5, wasn’t exactly close; just goes to show how much the NFL has changed in the past two decades don’t it?

      7) I wouldn’t go that far, he might be a second-stringer, though…

  12. Nacho dan January 4, 2014

    Is espn still putting out those jock jams albums?

  13. E. Wolf January 4, 2014

    It seems this is the second greatest comeback in NFL history. …

  14. Phatgzus January 4, 2014

    So the Iggly Wigglies had a 4th-and-26 and didn’t go for it, amazing; $26 says they would’ve if they were playing the Pack.

  15. Mike R January 4, 2014

    Funny you mention Eric Walden. He was victimized a couple times by the read option tonight, blindly following the running back to the opposite side, while Alex Smith kept the ball and ran right where he was supposed to be. Brought back some horrible memories from the SF game last year. That guys sucks.

  16. E. Wolf January 4, 2014

    Hey IGGLES–how ’bout them IGGLES? Eeewwww SNAP! Bwwwaaahaahaahaahaaa!

  17. Phatgzus January 4, 2014

    Aaand bye-bye birdies, the Iggles lose, ya beat the Pack in one respect-a higher draft pick, congrats. That’s 2 dangerous RBs gone, let’s make it 3, Green Bay!

    1. E. Wolf January 4, 2014

      Ha! Ha! You know, the Saints might be the best equipped team of any to upset the Seahawks, as the Saints are the preeminent dome team this year. I love seeing teams like Eagles, the Seahawks, the Lions fail year after year to swing and miss for the precious–the ring. We knock out the Niners tomorrow, we hold firm in the arms race for Lombardis. Anything beyond that is in gravy, at least for this year.

      1. geopack January 5, 2014

        So if the Saints knock out the Seahawks, and we do the same to the 9ers and Panthers, wouldn’t we host the NFCCG as a higher seed?

        1. E. Wolf January 5, 2014

          That is correct. All I want to do is sink the fucking niners. Anything after that is pure gravy.

  18. therealChuckywasCecil January 4, 2014

    speaking of touchdown songs……….Die Iggles Die

  19. Don Q January 4, 2014

    Iggles who?

  20. gort January 5, 2014

    I think that I heard it as a network bumper during the night game too. All is right in the world – the Pack leads the way again!