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Five More Thoughts on Packers Win Over the Falcons

Jarrett Bush

So, the Green Bay Packers scraped out a one-point win over a three-win team on Sunday. The Atlanta Falcons…

Fuck it. It’s a win and we haven’t had one of those in a while.

Am I right?!

And I know, what the fuck was I doing all day? Well, getting on a plane and shit. Flying across the goddam country.

So, on to five more!

Jarrett Bush — suddenly, boss
Yeah, for sure. We totally talked up Andrew Quarless on Sunday, but what about your whipping boy Jarrett Bush? Well, yeah, that guy stepped the fuck up! You hear that Jarrett Bush? Don’t let it go to you head! Nonethekess, the Packers 85th-string cornerback came into the game and got shit done on Sunday. Also, you should note that he replaced Davon House. Why? Is it because Davon House inexplicably started to suck balls at some point? Probably… that’s what you need for Jarrett Bush to get on the field. Dude made plays, though. Maybe he’s played his way into the role. Maybe House just sucked that bad. Don’t know. Don’t care. Your whipping boy came up big on Sunday, though.

Pride… or something like that
The Packers run defense has been much-maligned as of late. And for good reason. They fucking suck a donkey’s dick. However, on Sunday, those shitdicks held the Falcons to 83 yards on the ground. Now, let’s be honest. The Falcons pretty much blow, but nonetheless. It’s something. Remember when we were going to sign Steven Jackson? Hahahahaha. He’s a washed-up POS. Wishes he was Eddie Lacy. Look, on one hand, it’s good for the defense to have a day like this. They actually looked serviceable. On the other hand, look who they were playing. A bunch of Chachies. We’ll take it though.

Good to have you back Johnny Jolly
Johnny Jolly started the season strong. It was like he never left. And then he left… during this season. Invisible. Not bringing his usual high-energy play. Well, maybe he needed a break. John MF’in Jolly was back this week. Five tackles, one for loss, a pass defended and a fumble recovery. Kill it, my boy!

And suck balls B.J. Raji
So, two weeks in a row this dickbag doesn’t register a tackle. This week, he comes up with the huge effort of one tackle. Remember when we told you this fuckface turned down $8 million a year from the Packers? Well, I’ll tell you what. Fire your agent you dumbass! Oh, and do I need to remind you, you’re in a contract year? You should be playing out of your ass! Instead, you’re just another fat fuck on a lazy, unathletic, fat fuck of a defense. The Packers can replace you with another fat fuck for a fraction of the price. Get lost. Eight million a year. Fuck… If the Packers pay this asshat that much, you can help me up onto the Fire Ted Bandwagon.

It’s time
Finally. I know we’re going to dick around with the Aaron Rodgers is-he-or-isn’t-he-playing bullshit this week, but let’s be honest. The Packers scraped by a shitty team on Sunday… at home. They aren’t scraping by anyone else for the rest of the season. They need QB1. Stroll into Dallas and beat the Cowboys, even though they’re awful on defense — not going to happen. Unless… QB1 is rolling in there. You wanna sling guns, Tony Romo? I’ll sling guns — Aaron Rodgers. Matty Flynn don’t sling guns. And he won’t slinging them in the heart of gunslinging country. You’re more liable to get fired upon on the freeway by some random U.S.A.-loving Tehaa redneck than Matt Flynn rolling into the Jerry Dome and outperforming Tony Romo.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. K.L. December 9, 2013

    #6: Why the hell did we let go of Jeremy Ross. All of a sudden, he is one of the best kick returners in the league since we let him go to the lions.

    1. Razer December 10, 2013

      Yeah, we let the wrong guy go. The pink slip said Slocum but nobody reads these days. As long as Slocum is the ST coach, we will struggle with the personnel and performance of these units.

  2. icebowl December 9, 2013

    Saying it like it is, no holds barred.
    Good job Monty…..

  3. Iltarion December 9, 2013

    Desmond Howard, Devin Hester, Dante Hall or Via Sikahema in their prime couldn’t do shit behind the blocking of the Packers’ return unit. The Packers have had 3 different guys returning kicks, and they still rank dead last. That should tell you something.

    Ross made big mistakes on returns and sucked ass as a receiver. 99% of Packer Nation wanted that guy jettisoned, so lets not rewrite history now just because a bunch of Philly guys fell down in the snow on Sunday.

    Rare form, Monty. Good work.

    1. PF4L December 9, 2013

      Desmond Howard didn’t look all that bad in Super Bowl XXXI.

      I understand J. Ross, didn’t look good as a Packer. But i also understand it’s pretty rare for a guy to return, a kick-off and a punt, for a TD, in the same game. gotta give the dude some love.

      I think it’s pretty hard for anyone to succeed under Shawn Slocum, for whatever reason.

      1. chucks December 9, 2013

        Juking a defender on a slippery field is like juking your grandma. it still counts, but it shouldn’t. Tackling was pretty much horrific in the lions eagles game and the ravens vikings game. There were more points scored this week than in any other week ever in the NFL, and the weather played a big part.

        1. Phatgzus December 10, 2013

          Valid points, regardless, Ross is a talented young man, he showed that early in his career in GB as well as Detroit. Nothing but the best wishes for him so long as he isn’t playing the Packers.

    2. Phatgzus December 9, 2013

      Kick return, coverage, and punt coverage are all horrendous, but at least the punt return unit is very good.

    3. vj December 10, 2013

      But…how could we have shitty special teams units with the best personnel guy in the business?
      Nice offer of $8M per for Blow Job Raj-butt there Tedly. If he signs for that kind of money in Green Bay, one GM better be polishing up his resume on Lombardi Ave.

  4. PF4L December 9, 2013

    Okay…Game on. No holds barred. I’ll apologize in advance for raining on anyone’s little parade and hurting anyone’s feelings. But someone has to keep it real. I can’t help it, it’s what i do, good or bad.

    1) Going into the season, the secondary was known as a strength. You see how that worked out. J. Bush turned around and found a ball thrown to him, and to his credit, he caught it. Hero for a week, i guess.

    2)The Packers held the 30th ranked rushing offense to 83 yards. Giving up, a little more than the Falcons season average of 81.2 rushing yards a game. (shrugs)

    3)I am a Johnny Jolly fan. He brings some attitude, and he shows the other lineman, it’s not enough to just occupy the blocking offensive lineman, you can actually make a fucking play!! No offense BJ (Another stellar game) Great job JJ and Mike Neal. Hopefully Jolly can come into camp in better shape than last camp. I’m pulling for him.

    4)Before the season BJ Raji said he was going to “Bring it” this season. Hmmm.

    I have 2 questions concerning Mr. BJ Raji. Who’s fucking dumber? BJ Raji for turning down 8 million a year? Or Ted Thompson, for offering it?

    Lets just call it a tie.

    5) I agree with Monty..Lets be honest, we scraped by with a win against a 3-9 team at home.

    As far as the upcoming Cowboys game, same thing i said before the Falcons game. Expect the worst, hope for the best.

    GO PACK GO!!

    1. E. Wolf December 9, 2013

      Hey dummy, Ted extended that offer to Raji knowing he would not take it. Just like he did to Jennings.

      1. PF4L December 9, 2013

        Of course you know this for fact right Uncle Wolfie?…Did Teddy tell you this himself?

        Ted Thompson offered Raji 8 million dollars, knowing he turn it down, according to Uncle Wolfie. Yea.. That’s what happened Wolfie, one thing Ted doesn’t do Wolfie, is play games like that. But if you want to keep pretending you know know what Ted is thinking, have at it cowboy.

        1. E. Wolf December 9, 2013

          For what it is worth, Jason Wilde and Bill Johnson take the same position when the matter has been discussed–namely that the offer was extended with knowledge beforehand it would not be accepted.
          And yes, Ted DOES play games like that. He did it with Jennings. And what a stroke of genius it was. It caused the Vikings to overpay for the guy.

          1. vj December 10, 2013

            Any GM offers Raj-i-muffin that much money this offseason ought to be castrated, then fired. Not necessarily in that order.

      2. PF4L December 9, 2013

        Wolfie, be honest, if Uncle Teddy asked you to get on your knee’s, would you even hesitate? Just askin.

        1. PF4L December 9, 2013

          Tell me Wolfie, what does TT do if Raji accepts the contract, tell him he was “just kidding” and recind it? You need some help dude.

          1. E. Wolf December 9, 2013

            Talking to yourself as usual, I see.

        2. PF4L December 9, 2013

          Wolfie, link the article where Jason Wilde and Bill Johnson take the same position. In other words, back up your claim.

          1. PF4L December 9, 2013

            If Ted doesn’t want someone, he ignores them, he doesn’t waste his time, see Cullen Jenkins and Darren Sharper.

          2. PF4L December 9, 2013

            I’ll wait for the link. Though i won’t hold my breath your words contain any integrity.

          3. E. Wolf December 9, 2013

            Although Wilde writes articles and Johnson has a blog, I was obviously referring to their radio show. I do not agree with everything either of them says, but on this they are persuasive.
            Have fun responding to your owns, Spammy McSpammerson.

          4. PF4L December 9, 2013

            That’s about what i figured.

  5. Phatgzus December 9, 2013

    Monty goin’ all NBA jam in this joint.

  6. NachoDan December 9, 2013

    I guess this means Rajis due for a big game or a one way ticket to whogivesafuckville.

    1. vj December 10, 2013

      The funny irony is that we actually need Raji to step up big in these remaining games to have any shot at the postseason.

  7. PF4L December 9, 2013

    I think Raji already arrived at whogivesafuck. IMO

  8. PF4L December 9, 2013

    Ville :)

  9. the real russ letlow December 9, 2013

    I’ve always felt that Bush is better playing zone when he is facing the QB than playing man when he is facing the receiver and then turning to the ball. He’s got good hands, he took a shot from Shields and Hyde and still hung on to the ball. 1/2 game out of first for the North, whooda thunk that ? GO PACK GO!

  10. PF4L December 9, 2013

    Look, i know Bush got the pick, he turned around and boom, the ball came to him. I think you have to put that pass in perspective, end of the game, 5 seconds left, desperation time. the reason he took a shot. was because Hyde,Shields and Bush were all in front of Gonzalez. Gonzalez wasn’t open by any stretch of the imagination. i don’t know, give him the game ball. Even a blind squirrel……

  11. Ivomitonvikingfans December 9, 2013

    I think Raji is just playing to not get hurt at this point. It’s not like the world is watching Green Bay games at the moment. He will make his visits and turn it on for the prospective team(s). Some 4-3 team will sign him and he will turn into Warren Sapp 2.

  12. E. Wolf December 9, 2013

    That’s about what i figured

    Do you really expect me to go through archives of Green and Gold for anyone, particularly for the likes of you?

    1. PF4L December 10, 2013

      Wolfie, In truth, i don’t expect much from you, given your blatant misrepresentation of your assumptions and misguided delusions claiming to be truths, with no merit of factual knowledge.

      I think you should do what you’re good at, like getting that petition to ban Favre from Lambeau. How’s that working out for you?

      1. E. Wolf December 10, 2013

        Factual knowledge? Man you are nuts. Even if I were to go through hours of archived radio programming, it is essentially an informed opinion.
        As for the petition, I will only submit that it is well written and that I tried my best. In any case, it does not have an expiration date. If the right people see it and pass it around, it might work yet. In any case, I’d like to see you or anyone do better.

      2. PF4L December 10, 2013

        Yea, good luck with that.

        Do Better? I wouldn’t be foolish enough to try anything like that.

  13. TyKo Steamboat December 9, 2013

    2 things.
    1.) I still believe in Davon Houses talent.

    2.) Tony Romo ain’t beaten the Green Bay Packers this Sunday. Ain’t hapnen. That pussy-ass defense is about to get destroyed by a pissed-off team in high spirits. Tony & the “boys” ooked like a sad team in Chicago…now, on a short week, GB is gonna fuck you up. Enjoy.

    1. Phatgzus December 10, 2013

      Hell yeah, Tycho! That’s the spirit, man!

      Let’s not forget that as good as Romo is in November he’s equally bad in December, plus that Cowpies D last night made this Packers D look like the Monsters of the Midway.

      Go, Pack, go.

    2. Phatgzus December 10, 2013

      I still have hope that House is talented, losing the belief though. Granted this is his first full year and essentially his second year. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if he makes significant strides between now and some point next season.

  14. PF4L December 10, 2013

    lol, i like that Tyko…the spirit is willing. Should be an interesting game.

  15. Kenny December 10, 2013

    Dude, you do not offer deals fully expecting a player to not take it. You act like TT is some evil genius. I am so sick of everyone getting on their knees for this dude. His draft develop philosophy is obviously flawed. This team would be lucky to win 3 games with a mediocre qb. His whole thinking he can turn shit into gold is fucking stupid.

    1. vj December 10, 2013

      Thank you Kenny, may I have another!

  16. T Pack December 10, 2013

    I pretty much never agree with Wolfie but GMs offer low contracts to players all the time know full well they won’t take it. The NY Mets (god help me yes I am a Met fan) do it all the time. The GMs think they are appeasing the fan base by saying hey we made an effort to keep them-its not our fault he didn’t take the deal. Its BS because we all know the player was asking for more but GMs want to try and make themselves look good.
    Happens all the time.

    1. vj December 10, 2013

      Agree with PF4L.
      No low ball b.s. going on around here.
      Just Lombardi screaming at Ted from beyond the grave…”what the hells going on around here”

    2. Phatgzus December 10, 2013

      Red Sox just did it with Ellsbury; my condolences on being a Mets fan, man, at least they have some great young arms and brought in some studs to help out Cpt. America, but I digress.

  17. PF4L December 10, 2013

    I don’t know if i’d call offering Raji 8 million a year, is a low offer.

    1. E. Wolf December 10, 2013

      It is under BJ Raji’s perspective. How about reserving judgment against Ted until an offer is agreed to?
      If the Packers were to actually sign that guy to 8 mil, I would agree the criticism is legitimate.
      ALso, have you considered the idea that the offer might well have been rescinded–not all negotiations are made public you know,.

      1. PF4L December 10, 2013

        Wolfie, have you considered your love for TT has voided out any logical common sense you may of had previously?

  18. PF4L December 10, 2013

    a low offer

  19. GrnMachineCrushesQueens December 10, 2013


    1. TyKo Steamboat December 10, 2013

      No. Flynn has played “B” football. Very solid.

      Tolzein is shaky. Nothing looks confident or smooth with that guy.