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Vintage Chicago Bears

The Green Bay Packers play the Chicago Bears this week, so you know we have to make fun of the Chicago Bears. And what better way to start that train in motion than with these vintage 1980s Chicago Bears posters.

I mean, really. Look at these assholes.

This first one is my favorite. Nice fucking barbed wire shorts you shit dicks.

Oh, and look at that guy laying on the ground. He’s wearing Packers colors! He must play for the Packers! But you’re not wearing uniforms at all! Just tank tops and barbed wire shorts!



This next one is just about as lame. I mean, look. If you’re going to make this stupid poster, why wouldn’t you do it with Dan Marino and just have it be Miami Vice?

Chicago Vice? Go fuck yourself.

And could Jim McMahon look anymore derpy? By the look on his face you can just tell he was saying “derrrrrrrrr” when this photo was shot.


Ah, Mark Carrier. Definitely deserves his own poster being the all-great that he is. So he’s the monster of the midway. But the Bears themselves are the Monsters of the Midway, right?

And there’s an aircraft carrier parked right outside of downtown Chicago? This is all very confusing.

Also, sweet jeans, bro. Are those Z Cavaricci?


Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Ivomitonvikingfans October 30, 2013

    Only a fucking shit eating Chicagoan can be holding an Uzi and make it look flaccid. Nice uh.. water pistol. What a bunch of hand jobs. Charles Martin ain’t afraid of no Vice!!!

  2. TyKo Steamboat October 30, 2013

    those old-school posters are actually pretty cool

    I got a sweet Reggie White “Minister Of Defense” poster in my man-cave.

    1. TyKo Steamboat October 30, 2013

      The Don Majik poster was actually pretty lame compared to these up above…

    2. Phatgzus October 30, 2013

      Yeah but it’s Reggie White-he could make MLP cool if there existed a hell universe in which he was a Bronie.

  3. Don Q October 30, 2013

    Nothing was well thought out in the 80’s.

    1. Phatgzus October 30, 2013

      Amazing how that happens when your three daily meals consist entirely of vitamin coke.

  4. Vijay October 30, 2013

    They look like gay porn covers more than anything else…not that I would know mind you.

  5. Charlie Martin October 30, 2013

    These are pretty sweet dude. The first one especially

  6. Phatgzus October 30, 2013

    McMahon looks like he belongs on The Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie poster.

  7. typical fat packer fan December 8, 2013

    Like every Packer Fan south of Brown Deer, I had these on my wall until Don Majikowski came along. Now I have a share of stock or no. Crie, what’s the value of that dere hey guy?