Type to search

Surprisingly, Jay Cutler Might Be a Dick

Jay Cutler: Cutty!

We haven’t talked about our boy Cutty! lately. That’s because Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler has somehow managed to stay out of the spotlight.

He hasn’t been throwing wild 1980s parties. He hasn’t been appearing on talk shows for broads and dishing about his wife’s reality show past. He’s just been sucking Marc Trestman’s cock.

Oh, and he’s been so busy doing that, that he hasn’t had time to call Brian Urlacher. Apparently, Cutty! is not bro enough to call the ultimate Chicago Bears bro when he decides to retire.

Brolacher says Cutty! is the only one of his former teammates not to call him since he ended his career.

“Well, I did not hear from Jay, out of all the guys I played with, but that’s just – maybe we weren’t as close as, like you said, as we could have been,” Urlacher said. “That’s just the way to let you know where you stand with people. But it’s not his job to text me, maybe that’s not his thing. That’s fine. That’s the way it is. I felt like I stood up for him more than anyone else did over the last three or four years in the media. I feel bad for the guy, he takes a lot of grief from the media too.”

Brolacher stood up for Cutty! Cutty! should have texted Brolacher. Brolacher sad!

Yeah, seriously though, Jay Cutler — kind of a colossal dick, isn’t he?

Urlacher did defend Cutler numerous times when the media was tearing him apart. Even we remember that. Cutty! apparently does not because he’s just so Cutty! Don’t care!


And Cutty! also don’t care that Brolacher is probably one of the best Chicago Bears ever. Don’t need to pay him no mind when he gets swept aside by the team and then graciously decides to retire, rather than signing with, say, the Minnesota Vikings for a couple more seasons.

During his Thursday media session, Cutty! was confronted with his lack of respect for Brolacher. He had this to say.

“No, I haven’t spoken to Brian,” Cutler said. “I did not call him. I guess I’ll reach out to him.”

I guess you will. Now that you’ve been shamed into doing so.

[schema type=”person” name=”Jay Cutler” orgname=”Chicago Bears” ]

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. BZ in BA September 13, 2013

    Cutty is lame. I wish that Wolf had drafter Urlacher – he would have been a great Packer. Urlacher was drafted 9th, while Hawk was drafted 4th? Oh well.

    1. therealChuckywasCecil September 13, 2013

      I wish Wolf had drafted Urlacher as well. The problem is the Bears had a pick several slots before the Pack that year. Hawk was drafted six years later and was the 6th pick. Not sure how you are comparing the two, except that AJ Hawk is no Brian Urlacher.

  2. Arcturus September 13, 2013

    Sorry, I’m with Cutler on this one. What, does Urlacher have a little notebook where he checked off the names of his ex-teammates when they called him? “He loves me, he loves me not…” For fucks sake grow up, the world revolves around no one.

  3. Dirty Andy September 13, 2013

    For have being one of the best linebackers in the NFL he sure does have a sandy vagina. I thought the defensive players were tuff?

  4. Savage57 September 13, 2013

    Another example that the toughest thing for a NFL player to face when retiring isn’t the absence of the games, the money, the adulation, the comraderie.

    It’s becoming irrelevant.

  5. rebelgb September 13, 2013

    Ok I know your kind of fishing for stories so you can continue to sell advertisements (AKA POPUPS) but this story is weak.

    First off who fucking cares? I mean geezus Urlacher I always liked you because you never got the respect you deserved cuss you are white, and you got called out by black guys and the media let it go, but damn dude are you really butt hurt cuss jay hasnt called you? I mean maybe the guy has a life and shit going on?

    Also im sick of the anti Cutler talk. Do people realize this guy is a Type 1 Diabetic playing in the NFL? The guy has a non curable, horrible disease (id know my oldest son has it) and he is man enough to somehow take on being an NFL QB. They guy doesnt get the props he deserves….