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Reminder: Jim Harbaugh Still the Biggest Dick in the NFL

Jim Harbaugh is sad

Lest you forget, San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh will always be there to remind you that he is the biggest dick in the NFL.

Why? Because that’s what dicks do. They can’t not be dicks. Dick is engrained in their DNA. And if you put it under a microscope, Jim Harbaugh’s DNA would have a tiny dick hanging from it.

So what is Dicky McDickerson dicking out about now?

Well, he doesn’t like that the Green Bay Packers plan to hit his quarterback. Packers linebacker Clay Matthews has been talking about how important it will be to hit 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick all week. Here’s a sample.

“It looks as if as long as that quarterback is carrying out that fake, he loses his right as a pocket passer and rules that govern that,” Matthews told Bay Area reporters in a Wednesday conference call. “We’ll see the hits that are legal and what’s not legal, but we think our game plan fits within the scheme of the officials and what we want to do.”

So what is Harbaugh’s reaction? Why, to cry foul of course. Because you can’t hit the quarterback in football!

“You’re hearing a lot of tough talk right now,” Harbaugh said. “You’re hearing some intimidating type of talk — kind of things we were hearing a couple years ago.”

“[It] sounds a lot like targeting a specific player,” Harbaugh said. “You definitely start to wonder. A man usually doesn’t tell you his bad intentions. You know what’s being said publicly, not what’s being said privately. I hope their intent is not going to be anything that’s not within the rules.”

Harbaugh’s whining is of course referring to the New Orleans Saints and the whole Bountygate fiasco and that makes total sense.

We all know the Packers are an organization known around the NFL for not playing within the rules, for employing deviants and cons, and for not caring about their public image. So the comparison TOTALLY makes sense.

And we’re sure the 49ers game plan does not involve hitting Aaron Rodgers. At no time during this week did anyone say “we’ve got to hit Aaron Rodgers” at the 49ers compound. Because that would be ludicrous!

So expect the 49ers to drop everyone into coverage all game long in order to stop the Packers passing attack. Because they can’t be rushing the quarterback after McDickerson’s comments now.

Oh, and in case you missed it during Super Bowl week, here are some great moments in Jim Harbaugh.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Abe Frohman September 5, 2013

    It’s pretty simple stuff there Jimmy: your offense is the read/option. If you want your qb to run the ball, expect him to take some serious shots.

    Equating the Packers to the ‘Aints is really a classless move.

  2. Ivomitonvikingfans September 5, 2013

    If Nick Perry does nothing else all season, or his whole Packer career for that matter, I pray he fucking crushes Kap. I will pay his fine. I really hate this team. Mid 90’s Dallas Cowboy type hatred.

    1. Packer Bob September 5, 2013

      If he puts the same hit on Kaepernick that he put on Andrew Luck, I’ll be smiling all day.

  3. MadCity Packer Fan September 5, 2013

    I read the comments of both Harbaugh and Kaeperdick and all it says to me is that these pussies have been figured out and they are scared. If your quarterback leaves the pocket the chances of being hit skyrocket. I hope the 9ers try the read op again! Shut down the pass and any kind of run and these assholes will crumble.

  4. buster bluth September 5, 2013

    ” We’ll see what hits are legal and what’s not legal. ” I suppose you could say that before every game. But why would you ?

  5. Yerry September 5, 2013

    Why are they worried? Packers are soft & a finesse team right?

  6. Tim Harris September 5, 2013

    You cant do shit in the league anymore. I love how Harbaugh goes into puss mode as soon as he hears “hits.”

    1. Phatgzus September 5, 2013

      Does he have another mode?

  7. E. Wolf September 5, 2013

    Clay Matthew should have known that in cases like this, speech is silver, silence is golden.

    1. Abe Frohman September 5, 2013

      This smells a lot like Clay trying to be a leader on the defense.

      1. the real russ letlow September 5, 2013

        it also looks like Clay making the opponent answer to HIS remarks. Clay wins that round.

      2. E. Wolf September 5, 2013

        Say this and far more to the guys in private. No need for this to be on the airwaves.

        1. Phatgzus September 5, 2013

          Why not? Who cares? The refs? Like they don’t already call ridiculous penalties on anyone who touches the QB, or the Packers in general (e.g. 2012). The 49ers? Like they need bulletin board material to beat the Pack.

          I for one like it, Hell I wish he would have been even more assertive in his comments. Why not hit the QB at every opportunity? Not only is it logical and a solid hyperopic gameplan, but you get to pop that Jafar doppleganger as hard and often as possible. His comments weren’t dirty, they were honest-the type of honesty you promote when you give not fuck 1 what those that don’t matter (the media, fans, any other team in the league that week) think.

          Don’t we want the Packers to be a nasty team? Well, that’s how nasty teams and players act-the Steelers (of now and esp. old) the Ravens, the Seahawks, the Raiders of Yore (Lambert, Lane) even the Whiners.

          I like the talk, it promotes personal accountability (the ultimate form of accountability), it forces them to go out there with an edge to back it up with their play at the risk of embarrassing their very personage. For anyone with a measure of self-respect, it is the ultimate incentive. Come Sunday, I think we’ll trulfigure a good insight as to what kind of men these players truly are; if you’re excited about nothing else, in my MNF that is reason enough to watch.

    2. Packer Bob September 5, 2013

      He’s trying to create an edge. It’s good football. I’d hate if nobody talked trash before a game. That being said, actions speak louder than words.

      1. Phatgzus September 5, 2013

        Agreed in full.

  8. ay hombre September 5, 2013

    I’ve been saying this for a long time. Let their running back get 6 yards a clip while the QB gets drilled every single time. Soon enough those 6 yards won’t be worth it.

    Every read option snap there should be 2 or 3 guys who come for the QB and light his ass up, regardless of where the ball currently is.

    It IS a little weak that Clay felt the need to say this out loud though. I hate to say it…but this Packer team reeks of desperation.

    1. iltarion September 5, 2013

      Great point.

      You have been waiting for Nick Perry to stand up. THIS is the game.

      They won’t be running the read option at CM3.

      Kaep tore up Erik Walden last time. We’ll see how Perry does.

    2. Phatgzus September 5, 2013

      Seriously, why do anything else on a play in which the QB is a free target? Even if you let the RB get by you, you and the QB cancel each other out and there’s 10 other guys waiting to stop him. So what if he gets 20 yards and a first down, you had the chance to permanently remove your opponent’s best player from the game or even the season.

      I disagree that it was weak for CMIII to say that. He’s trying to be a bigger vocal leader, leaders set the tone and in my mind this was honest smack talk in the form of a challenge to the 49ers: “We’re coming after your most important player, we don’t give 2 shit’s about the rest of you, we can handle you, and we want you to know that. P.S. Roger Goodell, media, we REALLY don’t give a fuck what you have to say about it.”

  9. rebelgb September 5, 2013

    Thats why I DO NOT subscribe to the current belief among sportscasters that guys like Kaepernick and RGIII are the ‘wave of the future at QB in the NFL…’ They said the same thing about VY, Vick and CN. Ther first is out of football and the latter 2 are being told to stay in the pocket now.

    270# LB’s hit way too hard for these guys to be running out of the pocket all day. You cant have the highest paid guy on the team hurt all the time. If Kaep and RGIII become succesful NFL QB’s (and the verdict is still out on that), it will be because they can throw the rock; which both can actually do.

    As for Clay, I have to agree with E.Wolf, some things are better just left unsaid. Harbaugh LOVES to cry to the ref’s. He’s the Phil Jasckson of the NFL. We dont need the ref’s paying anymore attention to our defenses hits on the QB then they will already be paying……..

    Oh and Fuck Harbaugh, cant stand that assshole. The only guy I like less is that prick man child named Schwartz….

    1. Packer Bob September 5, 2013

      Any wonder these two man-children got into a fight after a game? Over an overly enthusiastic pat on the back?

  10. Darrin September 5, 2013

    Clay said what any LB would say. And isn’t the whole point of football to hit the guy WITH the ball? It’s a non issue. Play the damn game and see who wins then talk about it. Oh and Jim Schwartz is the biggest dick in the league.

  11. Brad September 5, 2013

    Harbaugh being in the Colts Ring of Honor is like Obama being a Nobel laureate.

    1. K.L. September 5, 2013

      Please leave your retarded politics out of football. It ruins all the fun.


      1. A.J. Hawk's Middle finger September 5, 2013

        Brad, you disagree with K.L., as you have learned that is not allowed. Buck Ofama.

  12. BZ in BA September 5, 2013

    I am glad to hear that the NFL is being reasonable about allowing the defense to hit the QB if he decides to leave the pocket. I also hope that CM3/Perry get an opportunity to crush him early on.

    1. Packer Bob September 5, 2013

      For now. You can bet if the running QB sticks around the rules will change. Gotta protect the QB and keep the ratings up.

  13. Packer Bob September 5, 2013

    He’s a dick but he’s also firing back at Matthews. I get it. And now I really hope the Packers defense knocks Kaepernick the &^$# out!

    I cannot wait for this game to start.

  14. Jurgens September 5, 2013

    Look, the guy is a proven winner but some of his antics are chippy and bush-league. This falls into the bush-league category.

    1. E. Wolf September 5, 2013

      Which guy? I presume you mean Harbaugh.

      1. Jurgens September 5, 2013

        Harbaugh is completely out of line here. Bush league.

        1. E. Wolf September 5, 2013

          Oh I agree, totally. I marvel that so many Packer fans are so forlorn, as if we have no chance whatsoever. We have a far better quarterback, and better receivers, better secondary, with lots of room for improvement on the defensive line with Datone Jones and Nick Perry.
          Homer makes Harbaugh out to be genius and has already anointed the Niners as Super Bowl champs, even though history teaches us that won’t happen. Many super bowl losers do not even make the playoffs. Last team to win the super bowl after losing it was Don Shula’s Dolphins forty years ago.

  15. geopack September 5, 2013

    Is there any QB in the NFL more concussed that Rodgers has been? Or missed more games from being hit that Rodgers? Kaep, stand up and take your beating like a man. And Coach, just shut the fuck up.

    1. K.L. September 5, 2013

      Not sure but I think Rodgers has only missed one or two games due to injury.

    2. Phatgzus September 5, 2013

      My money’s on Kevin Kolb.
      Rodgers has missed all of 1.75 games in his career due to a singular concussion he received while running downfield and trying to get an extra few yards instead of sliding.

  16. iltarion September 5, 2013

    Actually, very smart of CM3 to point out the rules to the NFL ahead of time.

    Predictable that Harbush would try counter politics.

    This is going to be a VERY chippy game. The defense has been hearing all offseason how they are soft, and they are PISSED. The 49ers, on the other hand, are coached by Harbush. Enough said.

    PLAY BALL!!!

  17. Vijay September 5, 2013

    Talk is cheap on both sides, we will see on Sunday and possibly in the playoffs. It’s clear tough and physical teams are the kryptonite for finesse passing Offenses like the Packers and Patriots and Ain’ts. I’m interested to see if Genius Ted has done enough to make my team just as physical as teams like the 49ers, Hawks, etc. I think he’s made an attempt to respond so I at least respect the “try” in him.

  18. GoHawks September 5, 2013

    hey Pack, Hairbag is a complete dick. 110% of the time. wish you guys all the luck in the world on Sunday. please kill Kaeperdick.

  19. Lisa September 5, 2013

    Our D is all over that read-option bullshit…I cannot wait until Gametime. I hate the niners. Go Pack Go!!!!!

  20. Apeshit September 5, 2013

    Break lapperdinks legs, back, and neck. Can’t stand that cocky fuck. Hopefully Harbaugh dies in a car accident driving to the game… It would be a W before kickoff.

  21. PF4L September 6, 2013

    All CM3 was saying…When a QB runs, he loses the protective cover of a QB, therefore he can be hit as a running back and the Packers need to hit him…duh…End of story.

  22. PF4L September 6, 2013

    All Jim Harbaugh was saying……Was that he lost his balls some time ago, and the only thing he really does is constantly whine and cry, about anything. To me…..John Harbaugh is a man. Jim….Not so much.

  23. nurseratchett September 6, 2013

    Sorry, although Harbaugh is a dick, I still believe Pete Carroll holds the biggest asshat football coach. After he left USC in a pile of shit he continues to say the fail mary vs seasquawks was a good catch/call.

    That being said, I hope we stop Kaperdick cold.

    GO PACK GO!!!!