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NESN Reports Brian Urlacher Retired with Packers

Brian Urlacher

Yesterday, Sports Pickle published a story that Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher retired as a member of the Green Bay Packers because he wanted to “go out a winner.” Sports network NESN reported on that story today.

See the problem here? Sports Pickle is a satire site. NESN is a sports network staffed by idiots.

Here’s the money quote in the Sports Pickle story, which has an obvious Photoshop job of Urlacher wearing a Packers shirt.

“I know this may rub some people in the Bears organization the wrong way. And some Bears fans, too, probably,” said Urlacher. “But it’s my right to end my career the way I want to end it, and doing it as a member of the Green Bay Packers — unquestionably the best franchise in the NFC North throughout my career and, really, all of NFC North history — brings me great joy. Not being a member of the Bears on this day is the highlight of my career.”

Deadspin has the video of NESN running this as truth. Watch the crawler on the bottom of the screen and you’ll see this.

Brian Urlacher signs one day contract with Packers, then retires to “go out a winner.”

Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

[schema type=”person” name=”Brian Urlacher” orgname=”Chicago Bears” ]

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. FITZCORE1252 May 24, 2013

    “Not being a member of the Bears on this day is the highlight of my career.”

    Laugh. Out. Mother. Fucking. Loud.

  2. Iltarion May 24, 2013

    Normally pretty intelligent and football knowledgeable, my wife asks me last night if Brian Urlacher retired as a Packer. I literally had a LIAR LIAR-spit-water-out-of-my-mouth moment and was like WTF are you talking about?

    She shows me this story she found online on Sports Pickle, likely having been directed there by a friend on Facebook.

    Hilarious as the story was- “I wanted to go out a winner”- I had to explain to her that OBVIOUSLY the site was a joke, with some of the practical 100 reasons why.

    I almost had to go Vince Lombardi and go get a football.

    “See this? This is a football. It is made with pigskin and laces…”

  3. GBslacker May 24, 2013

    ok… this has had its 15minutes of fame.

    on to Titus “the Mute” Young !!!

  4. Carl with a "C" May 24, 2013

    Monty, LaLa asked me if this was true this afternoon on the way to the dells… Seriously?!?! So i said yep! He’s now a winner

  5. MarcoBrusa May 25, 2013

    Gotta love sportspickle.com

  6. MadCity Packer Fan May 25, 2013

    Sports Pickle is a new fave of mine!