If you recall, we went through this exercise once before. Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari were supposed to get married in July 2011.
As the dutiful Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari fans that we are, we went to their wedding registry and purchased for them one fine gravy boat, because nothing shows respect like a gravy boat.
We didn’t skimp either. As you can see, we got the LARGE gravy boat, not just the medium or small gravy boat, but the LARGE one.
But true love was not to be denied! The couple got back together in late 2011 and now the wedding is back on for really real this time! It’s this July and their wedding registry has again been made public.
They’ve registered at Williams-Sonoma and Crate & Barrel. This time, you pick the gift and we’ll send it to them with a nice note from Total Packers just like we did last time.
Shindig Napkin Rings
They’re not Super Bowl Rings, but they’re probably as close as he’ll get.
Is she going to open a bakery?
I would say a crate of condoms would be the best… but the reason they got married is that they’ve inflicted their offspring on the rest of us already.
Le Creuset Heritage Stoneware 12-Piece Bakeware Set, Marseille Blue looks really nice (from Williams Sonoma), though I think you have to order it by 3/20. She must be into baking!
Send them a mattress protector. Quitler seems to “shit the bed” often.
Gravy boat again and an autographed poster of Monty dancing atop a street sign with ski goggles on after the packers win a thrilling game in OT!!!!
And a skull bong
Matching douchebags so they can both keep their Vaginas squeaky clean…..
How about a sham wow so Kristin won’t have to sleep in the wet spot.
I say we send them a fathead of every Packer that’s ever intercepted him. Wait…..shit…..that would get expensive!
That mortar and pestle made of volcanic rock is to die for. Line it with lettuce leaves to make it a serving dish? Right, line it with aluminum foil and wear it on your head to keep alien thought police from invading your thoughts too.
Wait , I ment a Sham wow so Jay doesn’t have to sleep in the wet spot because I’m sure Kristin is the one wearing the pants in that family, Jay is such a crying little bitch.