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What Should We Get Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari As a Wedding Gift?

Monty McMahon by Monty McMahon
March 7, 2013
in Uncategorized
15

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

If you recall, we went through this exercise once before. Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari were supposed to get married in July 2011.

As the dutiful Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari fans that we are, we went to their wedding registry and purchased for them one fine gravy boat, because nothing shows respect like a gravy boat.

Jay Cutler's new gravy boat

 

We didn’t skimp either. As you can see, we got the LARGE gravy boat, not just the medium or small gravy boat, but the LARGE one.

And then it all went to shit. The dynamic duo called off their nuptials and hearts sunk everywhere. They also returned our large gravy boat.

cutlerreturn

But true love was not to be denied! The couple got back together in late 2011 and now the wedding is back on for really real this time! It’s this July and their wedding registry has again been made public.

They’ve registered at Williams-Sonoma and Crate & Barrel. This time, you pick the gift and we’ll send it to them with a nice note from Total Packers just like we did last time.

(Via Deadspin)

Tags: Chicago BearsJay CutlerJay CutlerKristin Cavallari
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Comments 15

  1. Avatar for B-Rad B-Rad says:
    11 years ago

    Shindig Napkin Rings
    http://www.crateandbarrel.com/Popup/Quick-Look.aspx?f=51204&s=541257&grid=5011431&width=770&height=405&mode=r
    They’re not Super Bowl Rings, but they’re probably as close as he’ll get.

  2. Avatar for Tim V Tim V says:
    11 years ago

    Is she going to open a bakery?

  3. Avatar for David David says:
    11 years ago

    I would say a crate of condoms would be the best… but the reason they got married is that they’ve inflicted their offspring on the rest of us already.

  4. Avatar for jjblackcat jjblackcat says:
    11 years ago

    Le Creuset Heritage Stoneware 12-Piece Bakeware Set, Marseille Blue looks really nice (from Williams Sonoma), though I think you have to order it by 3/20. She must be into baking!

  5. Avatar for Don Q Don Q says:
    11 years ago

    Send them a mattress protector. Quitler seems to “shit the bed” often.

  6. Avatar for fake penis fake penis says:
    11 years ago

    dildos?!

  7. Avatar for Carl with a "C" Carl with a "C" says:
    11 years ago

    Gravy boat again and an autographed poster of Monty dancing atop a street sign with ski goggles on after the packers win a thrilling game in OT!!!!

  8. Avatar for Carl with a "C" Carl with a "C" says:
    11 years ago

    And a skull bong

  9. Avatar for Kozak Kozak says:
    11 years ago

    Matching douchebags so they can both keep their Vaginas squeaky clean…..

  10. Avatar for Snarff1 Snarff1 says:
    11 years ago

    How about a sham wow so Kristin won’t have to sleep in the wet spot.

  11. Avatar for Packman Joe Packman Joe says:
    11 years ago

    Matchin’ ashtrays.

  12. Avatar for Packman Joe Packman Joe says:
    11 years ago

    They’re smokin’.

  13. Avatar for nurseratchett nurseratchett says:
    11 years ago

    I say we send them a fathead of every Packer that’s ever intercepted him. Wait…..shit…..that would get expensive!

  14. Avatar for DevilDon DevilDon says:
    11 years ago

    That mortar and pestle made of volcanic rock is to die for. Line it with lettuce leaves to make it a serving dish? Right, line it with aluminum foil and wear it on your head to keep alien thought police from invading your thoughts too.

  15. Avatar for Snarff1 Snarff1 says:
    11 years ago

    Wait , I ment a Sham wow so Jay doesn’t have to sleep in the wet spot because I’m sure Kristin is the one wearing the pants in that family, Jay is such a crying little bitch.

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