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What Should We Get Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari As a Wedding Gift?

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

If you recall, we went through this exercise once before. Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari were supposed to get married in July 2011.

As the dutiful Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari fans that we are, we went to their wedding registry and purchased for them one fine gravy boat, because nothing shows respect like a gravy boat.

Jay Cutler's new gravy boat


We didn’t skimp either. As you can see, we got the LARGE gravy boat, not just the medium or small gravy boat, but the LARGE one.

And then it all went to shit. The dynamic duo called off their nuptials and hearts sunk everywhere. They also returned our large gravy boat.


But true love was not to be denied! The couple got back together in late 2011 and now the wedding is back on for really real this time! It’s this July and their wedding registry has again been made public.

They’ve registered at Williams-Sonoma and Crate & Barrel. This time, you pick the gift and we’ll send it to them with a nice note from Total Packers just like we did last time.

(Via Deadspin)

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. B-Rad March 7, 2013

    Shindig Napkin Rings
    They’re not Super Bowl Rings, but they’re probably as close as he’ll get.

  2. Tim V March 7, 2013

    Is she going to open a bakery?

  3. David March 7, 2013

    I would say a crate of condoms would be the best… but the reason they got married is that they’ve inflicted their offspring on the rest of us already.

  4. jjblackcat March 7, 2013

    Le Creuset Heritage Stoneware 12-Piece Bakeware Set, Marseille Blue looks really nice (from Williams Sonoma), though I think you have to order it by 3/20. She must be into baking!

  5. Don Q March 7, 2013

    Send them a mattress protector. Quitler seems to “shit the bed” often.

  6. fake penis March 7, 2013


  7. Carl with a "C" March 7, 2013

    Gravy boat again and an autographed poster of Monty dancing atop a street sign with ski goggles on after the packers win a thrilling game in OT!!!!

  8. Carl with a "C" March 7, 2013

    And a skull bong

  9. Kozak March 7, 2013

    Matching douchebags so they can both keep their Vaginas squeaky clean…..

  10. Snarff1 March 7, 2013

    How about a sham wow so Kristin won’t have to sleep in the wet spot.

  11. Packman Joe March 8, 2013

    Matchin’ ashtrays.

  12. Packman Joe March 8, 2013

    They’re smokin’.

  13. nurseratchett March 8, 2013

    I say we send them a fathead of every Packer that’s ever intercepted him. Wait…..shit…..that would get expensive!

  14. DevilDon March 8, 2013

    That mortar and pestle made of volcanic rock is to die for. Line it with lettuce leaves to make it a serving dish? Right, line it with aluminum foil and wear it on your head to keep alien thought police from invading your thoughts too.

  15. Snarff1 March 10, 2013

    Wait , I ment a Sham wow so Jay doesn’t have to sleep in the wet spot because I’m sure Kristin is the one wearing the pants in that family, Jay is such a crying little bitch.