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Here’s How D.J. Williams Picks Up Chicks

D.J. Williams and Clarence

Genius or infantile? We’ll let you be the judge because, frankly, we need no such gimmicks when it comes to picking up chicks. Green Bay Packers tight end D.J. Williams does, however.

He uses a small, toy turtle named Clarence. He brings Clarence to the bars with him and viola! We guess…

In the past, Williams has used a large teddy bear for the same purpose. That brings us to a couple points.

First, as you can see, Williams really likes white chicks. Nothing wrong with that. Just an observation. Second, after following Williams on Twitter for a bit, you’ll quickly realize he seems to spend a hell of a lot more time partying and chasing broads than he does working out.

While most of the other guys on the Packers tweet boring crap about “grinding” or maybe their wives and kids, Williams is constantly looking for either A. a woman, or B. a party.

Obviously, he thinks he’s still in college. That brings us to our next point.

Maybe the Packers wouldn’t have to rely on Jermichael Finley or have to carry his grossly-inflated salary if Williams would actually put in some work. We know the guy can catch and run fast, but can he do anything else? He started 2012 getting a good deal of playing time and then was pretty much nonexistent down the stretch.

Williams ended up playing in 13 games and caught seven passes for 57 yards. Three of those catches came in the blowout of Tennessee. The other four catches came in weeks one through five, which mirrors the statement about his decreasing playing time.

This guy won the Mackey Award as the best tight end in college in 2010, but still fell to the fifth round of the draft. He was probably more talented than most guys he faced. That’s not the case anymore.

Williams has nine catches in his two-year career and most people would say the Packers have too many tight ends.

We could really see this clown looking for a job come September. This is actually the most we’ve talked about the guy since he’s been drafted.

D.J. Williams and Clarence

D.J. Williams and Clarence

(Via Instagram)

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Mike R February 25, 2013

    Agree. I really thought he would step it up in his 2nd season, and I am sure the Packers would love him to, so they could part ways with Finley. Would not be surprised if he doesn’t make the team this fall.

  2. Dustin February 25, 2013

    The more I think about our depth at tight end the more I see the packers making a move for a tight end in April. Tyler Eifert and Gavin Escobar both look like potential replacements for the jackasses we currently run out there. Cut Finley, tag Greg, try and give DJ a wake up call. Also pray that Quarless can come back healthy and return to form.

  3. Iltarion February 25, 2013

    Everybody loves white women, especially the ones in these pictures.

    Good article. I had high hopes for DJ Williams, but he has not turned into another Quarless let alone a Finley. I hope he used his money wisely because he could be out of a job shortly.

  4. E. Wolf February 25, 2013

    Rack it up as yet another notch for misogyny.

  5. Sean February 25, 2013

    Is D.J. Williams the one that always seems to not be able to catch a pass when he has a chance to get into games? Don’t we already have a TE that does that?

  6. ay hombre February 26, 2013

    Nice piece Monty. This is where the tabloid stuff has impact on real football decisions. One of my favorite articles and a perfect Total Packers story.

    Finley isn’t going anywhere and never was. Jennings isn’t staying and never was.

  7. Vijay February 26, 2013

    OK I’ve seen enough. Crabtree doing his redneck thing is one thing…but this is just, stupid!

    TE names in the draft worthy of a top 1-2 round selection:
    Tyler Eifert, Zach Ertz, Travis Kelce…grab one of the 3 and move on…preferably Eifert or Kelce.

  8. M February 26, 2013

    Looks like you have motivated DJ to get to work: http://instagram.com/p/WNoPTDFQTl/

  9. Texanna February 27, 2013

    What an absolutely stupid article!! It is obvious that you know absolutely nothing about D.J.’s character. If you did, you would know that in addition to winning the Mackey Award in 2010, he also won the Disney Spirit Award for his work as an advocate for victims of domestic violence. You would know that he and his mother and sisters were vicitms of an abusive father. They escaped a living hell, and today they are all successful individuals. D.J. spends time during the off season (when he is not training) working to help others do the same. Just this month he emceed an event in his home state of Arkansas to raise money to help battered women. He is well known in his home state for this, but he never brags or boasts about what he does for others. So he parties sometimes. What 24 year old single man doesn’t? You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Grow up!!

  10. Devrrickk February 27, 2013

    Texanna, there’s nothing “stupid” posted in this article. No one is calling D.J.’s character in question here, but his actions thus far can’t simply be ignored by covering it up with his past accomplishments in college. This is the pros here, and his E:60 story doesn’t translate into the on-the-field success that most fans care about.

    Your response doesn’t change the fact that after two full seasons on the roster, D.J. has proven NOTHING on the field, and has no business being in the argument to be “Finley’s successor” (if the front office lets him walk, which I hope they don’t).

    D.J. Williams hasn’t shown that he cares about being the best he can be as a “Packer Pro” and if push comes to shove, with the glut of TEs already on the roster, the front office might decide to go elsewhere and cut a few.

  11. BHF February 27, 2013

    DJs mother is white. So why even mention the “white girls” comment if it doesn’t truly bother you? What did he take your woman and now you’re pissed that a guy with a toy turtle is more of a man. What a cheap shot hack job. DJ Williams won the Disney Spirit award after having to work his ass off in the face of homelessness and abuse from his father. I’d say the mere fact that DJ is as positive and outgoing as he is speaks volumes about who he is as a person given all he’s been through. You want to attack his play…fair game. Otherwise ask anyone who actually follows the Pack and they will tell you he is a work out junkie.

  12. raggler February 27, 2013

    Looks like somebody is jealous.

  13. Really? February 28, 2013

    Dick move, Monty. Dick move…