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Minnesota Vikings

Reveling in Minnesota Vikings Fans’ Despair

Clay Matthews celebrates Packers win over Vikings

The following was submitted by commenter E. Wolf, who found himself sifting through the comments of Minnesota Vikings fans after they were beat down by the Green Bay Packers on Saturday. He is properly reveling in Vikings fans’ despair and now you can too!

Saturday night’s playoff win against the Minnesota Vikings featured Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers “double up,” where they scored at the end of the first half and then go right back and do it again to start the second. Perhaps a less discussed, but equally if not more important “double up” is that we Packers fans get to bask in the joy and ecstasy of not just a Packers playoff victory, but also in the delicious Schadenfreude that comes from a debilitating Vikings loss. That makes it twice as sweet!

As one of the most inept playoff performances I can recall in recent memory, the Vikings do not even get the satisfaction of a valiant losing effort. It was so pitiful that coach Mike McCarthy shut down the Packers offense midway through the second half. Mark Chmura described it as a “half-bye,” a sort of live-fire training session that will serve us well against the San Francisco 49ers this week.

That has to hurt — for Vikings fans. But their loss and pain is our gain. Why? Because the Minnesota Vikings and their fans are our enemies. They and so many of their fans epitomize all that is soulless and wrong, albeit inept.

Given the good nature of most Packers fans (Lambeau Field is probably the most friendly venue to visiting fans, even of hated rivals in the league), the importance of this is sometimes lost. We know how to love our Packers, but sometimes we forget how — or why — to hate the Minnesota Vikings and those who support them.

While there are doubtless many venues that illustrate what a disgraceful breed most Vikings fans, and while so much of our history with the Minnesota Vikings ought to inspire hatred and bloodlust, from the Monday Night Football game in ’98, to the infamous Randy Moss mooning, to signing a certain former Packers player, touching off a veritable civil war in Packerland between true Packers fans and Berty Judas nutlickers and sycophants, one particularly rich source from this game in particular can be gleaned from comments on the Star Tribune website. Probably the most despicable, loathsome of all were the repeated calls for a Vikings player to purposely injure Rodgers, such as:

Direct snap … that’s what needs to happen to Rodgers’ leg

somebody put a hit on rodgers

Time for some Bounty Hunting

Truly classless and despicable. Notably, such calls were not isolated.

Aside from having no class, some Vikings fans were invariably calling for coach Leslie Frazier to be fired.

My honest opinion is we need a new head coach. He is too much of a wuss! He needs to get some balls!

Indeed, a veteran safety from the storied ’85 Chicago Bears is a wuss — and playoff games do not come down to say, being hopelessly outmatched in talent on the field, but by “being a wuss’ and the need to “get some balls.”

As much as I disdain the Vikings, Frazier brought a 3-13 team that most pundits predicted would again be one of the worst in the league, to the playoffs, with some surprising victories over the Texans, 49ers, and, sadly, against our beloved Packers. This was in large part because of Adrian Peterson’s unbelievable season. But it remains the case that the coaching staff has helped exceed expectations. And at least some of you idiots and cretins want to fire him.  Queue Graham Parker’s “Stupefaction.”

The most important thing we learn from Vikings fans is not just the innate inferiority of the Minnesota Vikings — now celebrating over 50 years of hopeless futility — but that Vikings fans KNOW, deep down in their bones, that their team is inferior. Here’s a gem.

I was fantasizing before the game started. Time for that is over I’m afraid.

Note the word “fantasizing.”  Lesson learned — sustained playoff success for the Vikings is about as realistic as some letter to Penthouse Forum drafted by an adolescent boy.

The performance of the Vikings was so terrible it warranted reflection on who is the worst of the worst for Minnesota Vikings football, garnering absolutely NADA over half a century, as one fan asked, “what is the lowest recorded QB rating for a playoff game? “ Brandon Warne, the despicable editor who banned Packers fans for good natured ribbing, but allowed repeated calls to purposefully injure players conceded that it is a “Good question but I’m sure it’s really bad. Maybe worse than this.”

Indeed, Vikings fans are even beginning to liken themselves to the hopeless futility of the Chicago Cubs, sans the history and charm of Wrigley Field or a devoted, diehard following that spans the nation:

Any history on the story of a Vikings curse and where it started?

That is really a stumper. We can only surmise from the seemingly endless laundry list of bad omens from that team. Maybe it is because you moved in the humpty dump Metrodome, the very antithesis of Lambeau Field, the Frozen Tundra, with its storied history as the cathedral of football. Or maybe it is because you are overshadowed by the most storied, mystical franchise in the NFL, and one of the most storied, legendary teams in all of sports anywhere on the globe: our beloved Green Bay Packers! Or maybe it is just how things are, one of the immutable laws of nature.

Indeed, what do you Vikings fans do when their Vikings win a Super Bowl. The answer is confirmed by Vikings fans themselves! They turn off Madden!

Might need to play Madden to right tonight’s wrong.

The rest of the comments are just the sort of piss and vinegar derived from a soulless, meaningless existence devoid of any semblance of joy or greatness, ranging from hatred to our Packers to dumbfounded expressions at a cruel world these poor cretins just cannot understand.

I hate rodgers cockly little smirks (sic).

This game is like a punch in the junk.

At least one fan was able to reckon with the horrible truth about life for Minnestoa Vikings fans:

Im done shutting the tv off and finding a different team to cheer for because this team sucks so bad its hurts to watch!

Indeed, bailing on such a pitiful, hopeless enterprise as the Vikings is probably your best bet. Treading on one’s colors is a soulless, cowardly thing, but I suppose in the face of absolute despair that matches French existentialism in dreariness and gloom calls for desperate measures. Of course, we really would not know about such a plight. For even during a 25-year drought, the legacy of Lombardi and Starr and Nitschke and Taylor and all the other greats forever radiated like an eternal, undying star!

This perhaps answers this painful question uttered by the enemy in the midst of absolute defeat and despair.

How can a team have the good fortune of following up a Favre with a Rogers…does Johnny Unitas have a great grandson in the wings?

Again, Vikings fan will never know, will never understand. It is the difference between the history, tradition, mystique and aura of greatness that define the Green Bay Packers, and the hopeless futility that will haunt your pathetic existence until the end of days. I guess it is the same reason why Sophia Lauren grew up to be a sex goddess who will be remembered as one of the most desirable women to have ever lived and why Natalie from Facts of Life is who she is. Some call this phenomenon “destiny.”

Enjoy this Schadenfreude, Packers fans, far and wide, from Lombardi Avenue to across not just this nation, but around the globe. Delight in their sadness and their loss. May their tears of anguish sustain you as a sweet, most invigorating nectar, second only to the glorious triumph of our GREEN BAY PACKERS!

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. the real russ letlow January 7, 2013

    wow. you can’t put it any better than this post!. by letting the purple pussies win last week we knocked out the Bear cubs; then this week we show the pussies they don’t belong on the same field with us. SWEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let them cry in their Hormel and Hamms!

    1. Abe Frohman January 8, 2013

      thus getting Lovie fired!

    2. Minnesota January 9, 2013

      For every bad Viking fan you people have seen, I have seen a Packer fan just as bad. Stop calling Viking fans classless.

  2. hubie January 7, 2013

    B O O M !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. TyKoSteamboat January 7, 2013

    Im done talking about & hearing about the ViQueens.
    That team sucks & has an empty trophy case. Jarod Allen is a queer & those fans suck too

    1. E. Wolf January 7, 2013

      Real fans do not talk about taking up other teams in the wake of adversity–Vikings “fans” do. The posts on that chat transcript make Eagles and Raiders fans look classy.

  4. SoTxPhil January 7, 2013

    It’s great to see the Viqueen fans in such pain over their team’s pathetic performance when it counted. But the “cherry on the top” of this season is the fact that we back-handed the Bear cubs out of the play offs AGAIN and got their coach fired. Especially, when he said coming to the Bears that he was there to beat the GB Packers, which rarely happened. Great season already.

    1. E. Wolf January 7, 2013

      I understand that not everyone may with me, but I do not hate the Bears. I guess I dislike them, but for the most part, with some notable exceptions (hello Jay Cutler), I respect them. The Bears have some tradition, some history that makes a legitimate counterpart to the Pack.
      The Vikings on the other hand–I hate that team, for all the reasons I outline above.
      I believe the Bears made a big mistake in firing Lovey Smith. The problem was not with coachng (particularly on the defensive side) but with management and personnel selection. Rather than fire himself, the GM made Lovey a scapegoat. That will only catalyze their decline and dysfunction. Too bad so sad.

  5. SEDeuce January 7, 2013

    Well put! I agree with the thoughts on the Bears – I don’t hate them, more of a disliking yet with respect for their tradition and long history with our beloved Pack, and for me, watching them at Milwaukee County Stadium with my Dad. I actually pulled for them in their Super Bowl win. The putrid, scum sucking VisQueens, on the other hand…. For all the reasons listed above and too many more to count….

  6. viking fan January 7, 2013

    Geeze guys this is out of control. I’m a Viking fan but to charactize all of us as a$$ clowns who want to see Packer players hurt, who hate the coach or just all around morons is totally pathetic.

    I congratulate you on a not only winning the game, but kicking my team’s collective butt. This display of gloating and charactizing Vikings fans us as neanderthals, however, doesn’t do the majority of YOUR fans justice.

    1. E. Wolf January 12, 2013

      Don’t blame me. I quote directly from the horse’s mouth. I never stated that every Vikings fan is a neanderthal, but there are enough incidents to form certain generalizations.
      In any case, the impetus of this writeup pertains to the despair and hopelessness that is your cause. That DOES define your very identity, to a man.

  7. I hate the Vikings January 7, 2013

    Well put. Sums up my ethos perfectly. The Chicago Cubs of football. Indeed.

  8. packnutt January 7, 2013

    Here’s another example of queen despair (from purplepride.org)

    Like all of you I was beside myself with disappointment last night. What happened with Webb was disgusting and embarrassing. And why oh why did this have to happen against the Packers, of all teams??? In one week we went from having one of the most memorable games, in recent history, against the Packers, to one of the most terrible games against them. They always seem to get the last laugh with us. Like the Favre years. Their golden boy came to our side (whether you liked it or not — I learned to embrace it) and had the best season of his career. We swept the Pack and would have made it to the Super Bowl if it wasn’t for dirty play by the Saints (and, maybe, that 12 men on the field penalty). But then, in 2010-11, the wheels fell off and, to add insult to injury, Green Bay goes and wins the Super Bowl. I hate Green Bay and their ugly ass uniforms and stupid name.

    1. E. Wolf January 8, 2013

      This just brings a smile to my face–the only thing that would brin me greater joy is if Amy Adams suddenly came through my door wearnig nothing but a negligee and open toed heels, that and maye just three more straight Packer victoris this post-season! Ironically, I agree with everything he says, except the last part of course.
      Our uniforms are beautiful, and obviously econic. The Forrest Green captiviates me–the gold on the helmets and pants offers a bold contrast. Together with that sacred,illustrious G symbol, you have one of the most distinctive, instantly recognizale uniforms not just in football, but of any sports team on the planet.
      The Packers name are a fitting tribute to the infancy of the team with Acme Packing and Curly Lambeau and to Green Bay right on par with the Steelers. What puts it offer the top is folks call us a Pack-like a pack of wolves!
      I love this team–and the hatred and sorrow and pain experienced by Vikings fans just makes it that much better. Rest in piss, you miserable pukes! REST IN PISS!

  9. icebowl January 8, 2013

    Mr. Wolf – thank you for that.

    It was truly exceptional – by far one of the most professional and definitely most entertaining posts I’ve read on this site….

    References to one of the greatest musicans of all time (GP) and the most beautiful woman that ever lived took this to another level. The non plus ultra however was the integration of the best teutonic term to make it into modern day English – Schadenfreude…..

    In that vein one word for your post : Ausgezeichnet

    The ultimate schadenfreude would be clipping the hawks wings in championship in order to go on and beat Denver in SB to avenge 98 loss.

    1. E. Wolf January 8, 2013

      Thanks–I regret I spelled her name. Sophia LOREN personified raw sex appeal PAR EXCELLENCE, in a way the tramsp of today simply cannot touch. I woul say out of the current Hollywood starlets, Charlize Theron and Amy Adams comfortably approximate what Sophia Loren was in her heyday but not quite.
      I agree the Hawks will beat Atlanta. I cannot decide if playing them at Lambeau will tougher than Atlanta. I suspect it might since the Squaks have sort of lost that inability to win on the road. They do not typically play in that sort of bitter cold thoigh.

  10. icebowl January 9, 2013

    I concur.
    Keep the great posts coming my friend.
    Go Pack.

  11. Chris Restivo January 9, 2013

    That G will always stand for GAY. You can pretend all you want that you have as much history as the Vikes

    1. E. Wolf January 9, 2013

      The only history the Vikings have are over 50 Years of hopeless futility.
      Stop trolling, you troll.