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Packers vs. Vikings: What to Watch For, Playoff Edition

The Green Bay Packers face the Minnesota Vikings in what has turned into the Hormel Chili Bowl for Minnesotans, but is actually just a Wild Card playoff game to everyone else.

That’s because the Packers expect to make a Super Bowl run, while the Vikings are happy just to be here. Of course, that doesn’t mean these turds will just roll over, so here’s your need to know.

Who’s not playing?
Holy shit, Batman! The Packers are (relatively) healthy! Jarrett Boykin and Jerel Worthy have been ruled out and James Starks is questionable. However, Charles Woodson, Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb will play. Linebacker Tyrone McKenzie is out for the Vikings and both quarterback Christian Ponder and cornerback Antoine Winfield are questionable. What does that mean? It means both guys will pull on their skirts and play with pain.

Who should I bet on?
This is a pisser. The Packers opened as 9-point favorites. Nine! They’re now between 7.5 and 8.5-point favorites. Everyone is picking the Packers to win, but this team has been gouged by Adrian Peterson. Dangerous matchup… seemingly. We’re going to go back to the Packers 7-1 record against the spread at home this year, though. That, and the fact that the money is flowing toward the Vikings. The Packers take care of business.

What to Watch For

Christian Ponder

The sun shining on a dog’s ass
It doesn’t happen that often, but it happened last week when Christian Ponder came out for his moment in the sun. Ponder had his best game as a pro against the Packers, when he was 16-of-28 for 234 yards, three touchdowns and no picks. That’s in stark contrast to the first meeting between the Packers and Vikings this season, when Ponder threw for just 119 yards, one touchdown and two picks. The Vikings keep telling us Ponder has been playing better of late. The stats tell us otherwise. Before last week, Ponder hadn’t thrown for more than 200 yards since week 10. In one of those games he threw for only 91. Oh, and now he has an injured elbow. In other words, Christian Ponder is a joke, but if he somehow repeats his week 17 performance this week the Packers are fucked.

Charles Woodson

Charles Woodson’s value
Chuckles hasn’t played since week 7. Well, he’s playing this week, goddamit! Will he be rusty? A normal player would, but this is Charles Woodson. And hell, the Packers need him at top form (or close to it). They’ve allowed 409 yards in two games to Adrian Peterson without Woodson. Is Woodson single-handedly going to reverse the tide? He isn’t, but if the Packers are able to keep Peterson somewhat in check, Woodson is going to play a big role.

Home-field advantage
People assume home-field advantage is a big deal for Green Bay in the playoffs. It used to be. This decade, not so much. The Packers have lost four of their last six playoff games at Lambeau. Let’s recap. Last season, they were blown out in their first playoff game by the Giants. They lost the 2007 NFC Championship game at home. In 2004, they lost to the Vikings in the Wild Card round. In 2002, they lost to Atlanta in the Wild Card round. Their only wins during that stretch — Al Harris’ overtime return in the ’03 Wild Card round and an ’07 divisional win. Both came against Seattle. The Packers aren’t playing Seattle this week. Also of note, Mike McCarthy is 1-2 in the playoffs at Lambeau. Trends change sooner or later though. It better be sooner for the Packers sake.

Mason Crosby blows it

Your worst nightmare
The game comes down to a kick. The Packers have a guy who’s struggled all season. The Viking have a Pro Bowler who set a record for 50-plus yard field goals this season. Mason Crosby looked fine last week, but he hasn’t looked fine for most of the season. For the Vikings, Blair Walsh has pretty much been money all year long. Expect the Vikings to convert their field goal tries. Expect it to be an adventure for the Packers. The Packers can’t let the outcome of the game come down to someone making a field goal. It doesn’t matter who’s kicking it, the odds are in the Vikings favor if that happens.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. teej January 4, 2013

    all you need to watch for is the back of AP’s jersey as he streaks down the middle of the field.

  2. Hoops24 January 4, 2013

    The packers D is gonna show up tomorrow. Not gonna stop AP, but gonna hold him around 100 yards. Pack wins 31-10

  3. Drunk On Duval Street January 4, 2013

    Which Packer player is AP? Meh, it doesn’t matter. We’re gonna see green jerseys running for touchdowns all night. Hundreds of touchdowns. All night.

  4. Nostradumbass January 4, 2013

    34-17 Texans
    31-20 Packers
    37-17 Ravens
    27-21 Redskins

  5. Me January 4, 2013

    In all 3 play off games, at home under MM we started slow. Need to jump out to a quick lead.

    1. Savage57 January 5, 2013

      No truer words…

  6. packattack January 4, 2013


  7. nurseratchett January 4, 2013

    We need O line & Defense. Those 2 units show up, no worries.

    GO PACK GO!!!

  8. Wisconsinbleedspurple January 4, 2013

    Hahahaha that’s because Fatboy is slow as shit. Eat shit Fudge Packer fans! We are breaking the curse!!

    1. Billyschwills January 5, 2013

      Your grandma has a tight asshole. But it’s better than her arid cunt, so any port in a storm. Right?

    2. Kozak January 5, 2013

      Should have told Pounder to go easy on the handjobs, looks like he has tendinitis in his jerking elbow.

  9. hubie January 5, 2013

    at least its a short ride home for the Queens ,After a Prime Time Nationally shown , BEATDOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Wisconsinbleedspurple January 5, 2013

    Fuck you Erin Rodgers sucks a fat one and so does your fanbas

    1. brad January 5, 2013

      I expect you won’t be around here anymore after tonight, but I’ll be thinking of you…lol.

  11. Wisconsinbleedspurple January 5, 2013

    Whatever faggot we are going to the Supebowl. Our team has more talent than yours

    1. Kozak January 5, 2013

      The only way the queens are going to the Super Bowl is by carrying the Packers bags.

  12. NYGIANTPRIDE January 5, 2013

    Wow you cunts are arrogant as shit! How did it feel watching the Giants beat that ass twice last year? If it wasn’t for the Giants your shitty Podunk town would have never been famous. Fucking rednecks

  13. NYGIANTPRIDE January 5, 2013

    The Packers are a joke and can never compare to the NY Giants ever.

    1. Kozak January 5, 2013

      Tough shit you assholes didn’t make the dance.

  14. Chris Restivo January 5, 2013

    saturday night lets hope the vikes destroy the packers jared allen and everson griffen are gonna bury them in the snow yeaaaaaaaaaaah vikings!!!!!!! 8:00 primetime bitches!

  15. Lynn fuckin' Dickey January 5, 2013

    Do the Giants play this weekend or did they get a first round bye I forget

  16. Chris Restivo January 5, 2013

    Come on bitch, we crushin that ass tonight. We are GONNA BURY YOUR BITCH ASSES IN THE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Packer Bob January 5, 2013


    Your team didn’t make the playoffs. So fuck off.

  18. NYGIANTPRIDE January 5, 2013

    We smoked your sorry hick ass team last year. Eat a fat dick.

    1. Kozak January 5, 2013

      That was last year. This you are just another team that’s sitting and watching the playoffs. Enjoy.

  19. Chris Restivo January 5, 2013


    1. Kozak January 5, 2013

      Did Pounder give too many hand jobs this week? Should learn to switch hands, maybe blow the guys instead.

    2. Kozak January 5, 2013

      How you like it so far Biatch?
      Rodgers pounding that Queen ass..

    3. E. Wolf January 5, 2013

      REST IN PISS, VIKINGS AND VIKINGS FANS! REST IN PISS! GO PACK! The score remains Green Bay 13, Minnesota Zer-0! But it could go up 14-Nuthin’. REST IN PISS! DRINK IT, AND DROWN IN IT!

  20. Pack Lethal January 5, 2013

    I imagine we will be seeing the last of the Vikings fans, for the season, on this site!

  21. NYGIANTPRIDE January 5, 2013

    Fuck you dickheads, leave that kid alone.

    1. Kozak January 5, 2013

      Go watch some old highlight films of last year and jerk off.
      That’s all you got.

  22. Lynn fuckin' Dickey January 5, 2013

    come at me, bro

  23. brad January 5, 2013

    @Wisconsinbleedspurple, Crisrestivo, fuck you fucking losers, you were warned, now go fuck yourself, fuckasses. Go cry your fucking purple tears, I am laughing my ass off at you assholes!

  24. Lynn fuckin' Dickey January 5, 2013

    Vikings suck dicks, all of the dicks, a million dicks per second. We own your ass. Always have, always will.

    Enjoy your empty trophy case in your shitty dome you fucking faggots.

    Chris Restivo, I’ll fight you right now. Where you at, pussy?

  25. brad January 5, 2013

    Millions of Hamms hangovers, ouch!

  26. Lynn fuckin' Dickey January 5, 2013

    The bitterest Hormel chili is yours to swallow

  27. tedtomato January 5, 2013

    Whos the bitch now? We gave you sorry fags a sympathy td as a parting gift..goodbye purple puke. Enjoy your offseason of signing shitty free agents..while we draft and develop champions!

  28. Kozak January 5, 2013

    The Queens are their usual playoff selves.
    Can’t even sniff a Superbowl since Jimmy Carter and Disco.
    And 5 straight NFC championship loses in a row since then.

    The Chicago Cubs of Football.

    L O S E R S
    Just like their chili stained toothless cumdumpster bandwagon fans.

  29. E. Wolf January 5, 2013

    REST IN PISS, VIKINGS AND VIKINGS FANS! REST IN PISS! GO PACK! The score remains Green Bay 13, Minnesota Zer-0! But it could go up 14-Nuthin’. REST IN PISS! DRINK IT, AND DROWN IN IT!

  30. Chris Restivo January 6, 2013

    Whatever yo you faggots will lose to the 49ers.

    1. Kozak January 6, 2013

      Maybe. But we beat the ass of your pathetic losers.

    2. E. Wolf January 6, 2013


  31. Lynn fuckin' Dickey January 6, 2013

    Ahahaha is that all you got, Chris? You punk ass bitch, gimme your shoes nigga we own your ass

    Superbowl on the way. Packers gonna get a fifth trophy, gay ass Vikings will still not and are gonna move to L.A., all is right with the world

  32. Chris Restivo January 6, 2013

    You don’t have the talent to beat 49ers or Falcons. Oh and Peyton or Tom will rip up your gay ass team to pieces. Your defense is shit and Matthews has a vagina. Fucking bitch.

    1. E. Wolf January 6, 2013

      Really? More often than not, playoff matches comes down to quarterback play. Who has the best quarterback in the league? Answer, OUR GREEN BAY PACKERS.

  33. April Marie Twigg January 6, 2013

    You’re the bitch, you’re from a broken home, you’re ugly as sin, and you’re broke as fuck. You’ve never been in a hot tub you weren’t cleaning, the only bottles you pop are natty bohs, the only girls you’ve fucked were hood rats, you’ve never achieved a goddamned thing in your pathetic life and you’re so fucking dumb you can’t even pick a good NFL team to rout for so you pick the team with the longest tradition of fucking the dog in the post season and also the gayest colors

    you’re fucking white trash you limped dick little faggot

    but please keep posting about how much our team sucks, i haven’t had this much fun trolling some moron in the internet in a minute

  34. Chris Restivo January 6, 2013

    Rodgers isn’t as good as Tony Romo. So suck on that

    1. E. Wolf January 6, 2013

      Ok now I am thinking we are being punked, and this is some sort of parody of what the dumbest Vikings fan would ever say. Even Paul Allen admits Rodgers is the best in the league. SUCK ON THAT.

  35. tedtomato January 6, 2013

    Tony Romo couldnt carry Aarons jockstrap..you are one stupid little twit!