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Lions Will Not Be Competing For Division Title

Matt Stafford eats grass

Coming into the season, everyone thought the Detroit Lions were pretty good. Hell, they made the playoffs last season for the first time since Abe Lincoln was president.

The smart money said the NFC North would turn out something like this:

Green Bay Packers
Detroit Lions
Chicago Bears
Hormel Chili

After seven weeks, it looks like this.

Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings
Green Bay Packers
Broken-down ’32 Ford

The shot from last night’s Bears-Lions game pretty much sums it up. If there was snow on the ground, these guys would be getting their faces rubbed in the yellow spot.

They put up a whooping seven points last night in a 13-7 loss to the Bears.

On one hand, you might say, “Hey, great defensive effort!” Of course, then you’d have to say, “Wow. Our fucking offense sucks.”

Fortunately, we are not Detroit Lions fans and never will be, so we don’t have to say anything. We’ll just sit back and laugh at your misfortune.

Good show, Detroit!

Don’t worry though, you still lead the league in arrests this season.

(Photo via KSK)

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. TyKoSteamboat October 23, 2012

    Pathetic Monday night performance.
    Now, today, everyone is on the peice of shit Bears’ jock again..
    The Bears still suck too.

  2. Luke October 23, 2012

    Nevermind the Lions. How shitty is the Bears offense only scoring 13 points against the craptacular Lions D. That mouthbreather still sucks!!

  3. TyKoSteamboat October 23, 2012

    The Detroit Laydowns.

  4. Jonathan October 23, 2012

    This game showed that both teams are pathetic. The Lions were in the Red Zone 3 teams and then all decided to shit their pants. 13 points for the Bears is laughable.

    1. Jonathan October 23, 2012

      times** my bad

  5. TyKoSteamboat October 23, 2012

    Suckcocko scored 13 points…at home…+4 in turnovers. Wow. They still suck.

  6. iltarion October 23, 2012

    Matthew Stafford has to be among the biggest surprises of the year for how pathetic he has been. He has not played a single good game this season. He went through that stretch last season, including the Thanksgiving Day game, where his thumb was hurt, and he was inaccurate as hell. Well, this season he looks like that in every game.

  7. matt October 24, 2012

    IF not for the Lions horrible red zone debacle in that game…and did manage to score points…The Lions would have squeaked out the W that night…but its safe to say the Madden Curse has doomed that whole team this season…

    1. matt October 24, 2012

      sorry…i meant manage to score MORE points…