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Vikings Are Adrian Peterson’s Overprotective Mother

Adrian Peterson

Remember when the only halfway decent player on the Minnesota Vikings — running back Adrian Peterson — tore his ACL last year? Well, Peterson has been trying to practice even though he had surgery on December 31.

He has also vowed he’ll be ready for the season opener. The Vikings started training camp with Peterson on the physically unable to perform list, but have since removed him from that list mostly because he told them to and as we all know, the Vikings have no balls.

Obviously, Adrian Peterson is trying to rush back from the injury. Everyone knows this, except for Adrian Peterson. It will probably result in Peterson reinjuring himself, the Vikings being worse than even we thought they could be and everyone laughing.

In the meantime, the Vikings are letting Peterson practice, with one caveat.

Jamarca Sanford on orders given to the D about Adrian Peterson: “The rules are simple. Do not touch 28. If you touch him, you’re cut.”

Ah, completely logical. We’re sure that will get the defense ready to play on Sundays.

Let’s hope that stupid hillbilly Jared Allen touches Peterson in the next few days. We’d like to see what the Vikings do then.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Randomacity August 15, 2012

    I hate the Vikings and all, but Adrian Peterson is/was one of the best, if not the best running back in the NFL. Don’t be a twat.

    1. DevilDon August 15, 2012

      Twat? Who’s being a twat? How often do you visit this site twat? There is never any love shown for purple messiahs.
      As for is/was…. maybe is but never was, there’s a long list of RB who kick his meager ass Randy!
      So quit being a twat, furburger, taco, quim, cooter, slit, slot, monkey, cockpocket, cunt, trim, vag, beaver, box, pootie, tang, tuft yourself.

  2. Pack Lethal August 15, 2012

    Randomacity, your opinion is a Twat, I sure hope that your not one of those Brent Favre fans. As a Packer fan I fucking hate the Vikings, that assface Peterson plays on the Vikings therefore fuck Adrian Peterson. There are very few non-Packer players that I like, Maybe Flynn, but we’ll see how that goes.

  3. Lynn fuckin' Dickey August 15, 2012

    You can’t really blame them, he is their entire offense. 4th in rushing last year or something like that? Who’d have thought the Vikes were good at anything last year.

  4. Jack August 15, 2012

    “Let’s hope that stupid hillbilly Jared Allen touches Peterson in the next few days. We’d like to see what the Vikings do then”

    Actually…Allen touches A.Peterson all the time……….and the Viqueens applaud it, because it keeps the locker room “tight”…………….nancies……!

  5. icebowl August 16, 2012

    Queens are a non-issue….
    It’s the Lions we need to worry about in 2012…

  6. jaykat August 16, 2012

    …think the Lion’s ‘ll be in jail this season.

  7. Whathafuck January 1, 2013

    Man lol just a game chill and of course you like Flynn lol he played for the packers