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Bears Are Going to the Super Bowl!

Brandon Marshall: douche

Well, we might as well just cancel the season now and skip right to the big game. The Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl!

That’s what receiver Brandon Marshall told a bunch of idiot Bears fans at Soldier Field on Friday night.

“This is just between us, so keep it here,” Marshall said to the 27,352 fans before uttering two words: “Super Bowl.”

And the gathering of Jugalos went wild, firing pistols into the air and gang raping anything that looked like a female. Of course, this event was a carbon copy of the Green Bay Packers Family Night, right down to the fireworks. That is, except for the crowd, which was considerably smaller and considerably dumber in Chicago.

Bears coach Lovie Smith, the first black coach to lose a Super Bowl, was onboard with his new receiver’s proclamation.

“It would be hard to tell guys, ‘hey, let’s try to win eight games,’ ‘let’s try to win the division,’” Smith said. “[Super Bowl] is the ultimate goal, what everybody in the locker room is trying to achieve. No problem with that at all.”

We can’t wait until the wheels fall off that bus.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Jack August 5, 2012

    He was referring to this years “Super Bowl(athon)” in Chicago – not the actual Super Bowl – which is probably the closest that this asshat will ever get to the Lombardi trophy. As a side comment, Urlacher resently told the Chicago Tribune that: “The Rodgers guy will never run past me, making me look like an idiot again, because I recently learned to tackle from my bunk buddy Jay-C”

  2. Dennis August 5, 2012

    Wow! Really? This is an intelligent article. Okay, I’ll stop the sarcasm there. This is a typical article from a typical Packer fan. No real insight, just unthoughtful opinions. Trying to say that family night is a copy, really? Every team in the league does that so who are you kidding. Bears are the most improved team in the division. Lions are going to suck, and you guys are not going to be as good as you think. Your best free agent signs are Anthony Hargrove, who is suspended for 8 games for bounty gate, and Jeff Saturday. No good running backs on your team. I hate how you guys think that you are the best, but I don’t see it. You did nothing to improve and New York exploited you last year. You might win another 15 games but will be first round outs again. As for the bears, they traded for Marshall, sign RB Bush to back up Forte, signed a starting caliber QB in Jason Campbell to back up Cutler, fired Martz the mad man, and gave Cutler freedom to make changes at the line and not have to do 7 step drops. I am not saying that they are Superbowl bound, but they have a very good shot at the playoffs. I think as good as your Packers. Oh, and before anyone says, “Stop trolling the Packers sites stupid Bears fan!” this article was on the Bears FFtoolbox page.

  3. yourdad August 5, 2012


  4. JasonSereno.com August 5, 2012

    Everyone knows the Packers are a euphemism for sodomites. Pack up your anal beads and go home.

  5. PackerBoB August 5, 2012


    1. Dennis August 8, 2012

      That’s an intelligent remark. How long did it take to think that up?

  6. Jimmy Mac August 6, 2012

    Look at all the Packer fans getting their panties in a twist because Marshall said something that a million players do every year, and that’s try to engage their fans by telling them they’re aiming for the Superbowl. What do you morons want him to say, “Hey guys! Get ready for another 8-8 year!” This Super Bowl proclamation happens everywhere, with every team. I can’t wait to see Marshall dominate your shit defense this year. That “asshat” is an elite receiver, and your defense could barely handle Hester and Knox. Have fun fudge packers.

  7. Slevin August 6, 2012

    Got to love how big of a douche bag this writer is. You say the Bears. Opted family night? You’re an idiot. Common event amongst teams. Fun fact for you, the Green Bay Packers would not be a team anymore if it weren’t for George Halas helping the organization out of respect for the rivalry. All teams have good fans and idiot fans and you fall to the latter.

    1. Jonathan August 8, 2012

      Please dude, Halas was a giant self-serving ass that hated the Packers organization and everything about it. Almost bankrupting the pack when he demanded the Packers pay for his travel to Green Bay then pulled the game all together. When the Bears were in financial straights though, who bailed them out? The Packers.

      1. Dennis August 8, 2012

        Really? You need to learn your history a bit more. Both clubs helped each other at different points. Yes in the “Great Depression” in 1933 the Packers loaned the Bears $1500. In 1956 Halas joined a rally and was one of the biggest influences in the vote to get a new stadium built so they would not be relocated.

        1. Jonathan August 9, 2012

          Yes Halas came to the rally in Green Bay and I’m sure everyone welcomed him with open arms.

  8. icebowl August 10, 2012

    Come up with something new….
    Fact is – Cutler sux….