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D.J. Williams Enjoys Cow Tipping

D.J. Williams

One of the investigative sleuths at the Press Gazette has uncovered another major scoop (it was Pete Dougherty, let’s give the man his well-deserved credit!). Green Bay Packers tight end D.J. Williams enjoys cow tipping in the offseason.

The second-year player is from the redneck bastion that is Arkansas, so this probably shouldn’t surprise you.

“I roomed with a whole bunch of country people in college, didn’t have anything else to do,” Williams said.

What happened to good old fashioned getting loaded like we do here in Wisconsin? Guess that’s too fancy for folk from Arkansas. So what’s your strategy when tipping cows, D.J.?

“Just try to not get hurt or die,” he said. “It’s very difficult to put them on the ground. If you can wrap the hind leg with the front leg, you have a good chance if you give it a pretty good push.”

Good strategy. So why do you find this high-brow activity so enjoyable, D.J.?

“For a good time,” he said, “and it helps with football obviously, and it’s a good way to impress a girls.”

Ah, the eternal lure of a classy lady. There’s nothing like demonstrating your cow tipping prowess to attract the fairer sex.

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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8 Comments

  1. Ivomitonvikingfans July 27, 2012

    “Just try to not get hurt or die,” he said. “It’s very difficult to put them on the ground. If you can wrap the hind leg with the front leg, you have a good chance if you give it a pretty good push.”

    Sounds like prom night in Minnesota.

    1. Asimov July 27, 2012

      Fantastic.

    2. nurseratchett July 27, 2012

      just pissed myself. FUCKING HILARIOUS!

    3. Adam July 27, 2012

      You win, sir.

  2. Jon July 27, 2012

    I love how all the press seems to have fallen for this…

  3. nurseratchett July 27, 2012

    Living a mere 3 hours from the scary state of Arkansas, I’m not surprised that the summer toothed (summer here, summer there) women of that state are impressed by a man’s ability to fell a giant (future) steak. What does surprise the hell out of me is that Arkansas is SO BORING that a brother not only has gone cow tipping, but has done so enough to explain the strategy involved….

    Delivery me from Deliverance Country!!!

  4. Tom George August 29, 2012

    DJ is the best young man, pays attention to everyone not just underprivileged or handicapped which he apparently loves. Go DJ.