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Let’s Name Vikings Stadium

Now that the fuckbags known as the Minnesota Vikings finally have a deal for a new stadium in place, it’s come to our attention that they’ll be looking to sell naming rights.

You know, because what business wouldn’t want to sponsor a second-to-none organization like the Minnesota Vikings? We’re sure the Vikings will have tons of upstanding businesses pounding on their door, but just in case they don’t, we’d like to offer our help.

Here are our suggestions for the new Vikings stadium name.

  • The Hormel Chili Dome — because Vikings fans love them some Hormel Chili!
  • The New Metrodome — now with fewer falling ceiling tiles!
  • Hamm’s Field — the Twin Cities’ finest brew, loved by thousands!
  • Minnesota Center Against Violence And Abuse Stadium — now the reminder not to beat your wife is right on the building!

We’d like a more comprehensive list we can send to the Vikings to help them out, so your suggestions are welcome. Please leave them in the comments.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Duane June 1, 2012

    Target Stadium – So we know where to drop the bomb that wipes out thousands of inbreds.

  2. Duane June 1, 2012

    Summers Eve Stadium – Packed full of douche bags every Sunday in Fall.

  3. hubie June 1, 2012

    the new rollerdome

  4. Chazman June 1, 2012

    Whizzinator Stadium – When we loose, we’re pissed!

    1. Pio June 1, 2012


  5. Jaykat June 1, 2012

    Nice Duane, I was going Massengale …

  6. MnPacker June 1, 2012

    Well the Twins suck at Target Field and the Timberwolves suck at the Target Center… and Target sucks. WalMart Field it is.

  7. NFL NORTH June 1, 2012

    Packers Suck Field at Packers Suck Stadium……. perfect

    1. Lee June 2, 2012

      That might play well in Minnesota, but it’s completely untrue. It might cause confusion and misunderstanding. Oh, I guess that wouldn’t bother Vikings fans, huh? Also, I’d LOVE to see how the e Packers would play against a team with a stadium having that name. “Rout” wouldn’t begin to do it justice.

  8. David June 1, 2012

    Guaranteed Freedom Bail Bonds Dome

    (PS. This is a real Minneapolis co. 4 blocks from the Stadium)

  9. BubbaOne June 1, 2012

    Call it what it is:
    or too bad it isn’t open air, it could be called
    THE LOVE BOWL to honor the LOVE BOAT scandal.

  10. PackerFanInFl June 1, 2012

    Favre’s House (cuz we don’t want him)

  11. Landfill June 1, 2012

    The real frozen tundra. Cause it will be and is far colder there than the pussies who think Wisconsin is cold.

    1. Ivomitonvikingfans June 1, 2012

      Seems to me you are the pussies that needed to build a dome in the first place. And wait…. yet another dome. Although how would you fucks pump in artificial crowd noise in the open air? Please do the rest of the 49 States a favor, secede, and join your anal mud-skipping French Canadian sisters to the North.

    2. Pio June 1, 2012

      Congratulations, Landfill. You’ve beaten John Edward for the award of Biggest Douche in the Universe.

  12. Steve June 1, 2012

    Buffalo Wild Wings Stadium – That way when the Queen’s game sucks (which it will) they can go to the restaurant and watch good games being played.

    1. Vijay June 1, 2012

      Me Likey!

  13. Dean Sanders June 1, 2012

    Cunt Factory

  14. wisconsinfan June 1, 2012

    They play in a dome how could it be called the real frozen tundra if its not outside u dumbshit

    1. Landfill June 1, 2012

      Yes, you are correct, they do play in a dome but the plans for the new stadium have a retractable (meaning can be opened or closed) roof which will be open for all Vikings games. Hence, it will be like playing outside. Correct me if my logic is wrong.

  15. Pack Lethal June 1, 2012

    Wisconsin has the same climate you sister fucker.

    1. Landfill June 1, 2012

      Profanities don’t strengthen arguments, unless you’re an elementary student, so I’ll pardon you. Also, it is possible for a city to be colder than another even if they have the same climate. For example, much of the Montana/Canadian border is classified as Highland alpine climate as is much of New Mexico. Montana is certainly colder than New Mexico. They teach that in 6th grade so you’ll learn it in the Fall.

      1. Pack Lethal June 1, 2012

        Cockfill, listen up! It’s not an argument, you are wrong. It is just as cold in GB as it is in MSP everyone knows that. Either way I doubt they keep the stadium open during late fall/ winter games. If they did the only time the place would be full is for the Packer or Bear games, the fans have endured the cold for close to a century. You pussies have been coddled in your 70 degree shit dome for two decades so I’m pretty sure that your vaginas would stick to the frozen seats in the new stadium. You need to shove your round about logic up your delusional Viqueen loving ass. Your team sucks, your state sucks and you suck at life. Douche bag.

        1. Landfill June 4, 2012

          It’s not my state but good guess. Little temper tantrum there pal but I assure you everything will be alright. Also, profanities coupled with insults also don’t strengthen arguments. They have endured the cold for close to a century in Green Bay except for the years when they had to play in Milwaukee to sell seats. Then that one guy you all hate showed up and you started playing all your games at Lambeau. Also, little known fact but you know you’re winning the argument when your opponent resorts to profanities and insults.

      2. iltarion June 2, 2012

        Even when the Vikes played outside, they never played a game as cold as two games that have been played at Lambeau. 4 of the 10 coldest games in NFL history were played at Lambeau.

        So, per the facts, playing at Minnie is not as cold as playing at GB.

        1. Landfill June 4, 2012

          I will give that to you. But, per the facts on weather.com in December and January the high/lows for Green Bay are 24/9 for December and 29/14 for January. Minneapolis: 24/7 in Dec. and 27/12 in January. So, though close, Minneapolis is a little colder. Also, there have been many more games played outside in Green Bay than just about anywhere else so odds are many of the coldest games would be played at Lambeau. Didn’t mean to make this into a weather argument but sports can do that to the best of us :)

  16. Pack Lethal June 1, 2012

    Denial Field. Self explanitory.

  17. Pack June 1, 2012

    Prince (Albert) Dome

  18. Pharve June 1, 2012

    The Pontiac Silverdome

  19. Vijay June 1, 2012

    The Toilet Paper Bowl – Free samples at the door!


    (see image URL)

  20. Vijay June 1, 2012

    Supervalu Stadium — because hey, everyone likes a good value ;)

  21. Chris June 1, 2012

    Whack The Pack Stadium, Hack The Pack Field, Hack The Pack Attack Park, Beat The Greeny Weenies Field.

    1. nurseratchett June 2, 2012

      Ooooo…how about Fantasy Island?

  22. Cheese June 1, 2012

    The stadium formerly known as Princes jungle of love

    1. Jaykat June 4, 2012

      I can see the symbol now.

  23. Kevin June 1, 2012

    Love Boat Stadium! They can fly in prostitutes from Atlanta for every game!

  24. DevilDon June 2, 2012

    Snap on Tools Dome.

  25. PackerFanInFl June 2, 2012

    Tampax Field

  26. nurseratchett June 2, 2012

    Wrigley Field North (where there’s always lots of trash talk, but no titles in this century!)

    No Title Town Stadium

    Department of Corrections Dome (parole officers on site!)

    Tools & Fools Field

    Bitter Disappointment Dome (Where all we have is hope…..and a retractable roof!)

  27. Ivomitonvikingfans June 2, 2012

    Hopefully they host a Super Bowl so the Pack can go there and win another trophy just to rub it in. That would even be more satisfying than winning it in Dallas.

  28. Moon June 2, 2012

    All of you haters, just because we got a brand new stadium that might be better than yours doesn’t mean you should hate on it. Also, the team didn’t want the dome, the state did for maximum revenue. The fans wanted an open stadium too. I have never seen so much low class behavior; let us not be reminded of the things we could say about Wisconsin. Your titles can’t defend you from other state problems and stereotypes. I won’t say them though because that is low class. I have also never mentioned how you people call them “The Pack” which is like a pack of wolves. These are meat packers, not wolves. My suggestion for a stadium is Metropolitan Stadium.

    1. Jaykat June 4, 2012

      Jesus, could you be more of a sniveling puke. Here’s your new stadium better than our’s dipshit. http://espn.go.com/blog/nfcnorth/post/_/id/27544/power-rankings-top-10-toughest-venues

      1. Moon June 13, 2012

        The dome sucks, that is not our new venue; learn to read moron.

  29. Boston June 2, 2012

    Lambeau West

  30. Steve June 2, 2012

    A Wisconsin company should get the naming rights. Something like Oscar Mayer Stadium.

    My Bologna has a first name,
    It’s O-S-C-A-R.
    My bologna has a second name,
    It’s M-A-Y-E-R.
    Oh we go defeated almost every game,
    And if you ask me why i’ll say,
    Cause’ the Vikings winning the super bowl is B-O-L-O-G-N-A!!!!

  31. The Never Gotten Dome. Because all Vikings fans are chubby friendless virgins with creepy mustaches.

  32. Jeff June 2, 2012

    Adrian Peterson’s Wasted Career Memorial Stadium

  33. phatgzus June 3, 2012

    The Jailhouse-because all teams want their players to feel at home

  34. BubbaOne June 3, 2012

    They’ve had their share of DUI’s over the years w/ the latest one yesterday:


    So lets call it “The Blender”.

  35. Tyler June 3, 2012

    The “Packers suck cock and enjoy being fags dome!” Were everyone can come in and make there plans to kill of EVERY packer fan on Earth! We will enjoy watching you in pain :). What are you guys going to do about it? You’re just a buch of pussy ass Wisconsin-ites!!

    1. Jaykat June 4, 2012

      He said from his cell…

  36. Uncle Steve June 3, 2012

    How about, “The Wrigley Field of the NFL?”

  37. Uncle Steve June 3, 2012

    Or alternately, “The Purple Penis Eatery”

  38. PackerBob June 3, 2012

    The Purple Toilet Bowl.

    1. person June 3, 2012

      referring to lambeau?

  39. cupcake June 3, 2012

    wisconsin’s state motto- “we have a good football team. that is all.”

  40. Kozak June 4, 2012

    May I suggest “Vaghalla” in honor of their nordic heritage and utter Queeniness.

  41. Jonathan June 4, 2012

    The Minnesota State Penitentiary

  42. doug June 4, 2012

    I think it should be the same as I’ve called their stadium for years – The Purple Pussy Dome. Who plays there? – the Purple Pussies.

  43. BD Swingin' June 4, 2012

    Why are shitty queen fans doing on this site? Stick to your erect purple horn fag pride site.
    I’d call the stadium: “our owner is too cheap to buy it himself so instead let’s fuck over the tax payers stadium.”

  44. RayV#7 June 4, 2012

    The Minnesota Family Reunion Center. Since Vikings fan in Minnesota is related to each other, its only fitting to name the Stadium after the imbred fans.

    1. RayV#7 June 4, 2012

      fans* are* Fuck, just talking about the Vikings made me stupid!

  45. paup95 July 9, 2012

    BMO stadium standing for `boast Most offenses`. What a nice weekend for the viking. Thank God for the Green Bay Packers. Enjoy another fourth place finish in the north. Wasting another one of AP`s fleeting years.

  46. Eradicator August 15, 2012

    Wow, High education going on here. Not one funny or original comment. Makes me want to move to Minnesota.

  47. joe jetson August 31, 2012

    How about, let’s keep it simple and accurate: Chokers Field

    The street name also needs to invoke a Viking icon:
    Bad Grunt Avenue