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Cut Your Damn Hair, Hippie!

So this is what qualifies as news in the offseason, I guess.

Paul Imig, who’s trying damn hard to justify his paycheck, brings us this gem — Green Bay Packers rookie safety Jerron McMillian hasn’t cut his hair in seven years.

Seven years, people!




“It’s been seven years and counting,” McMillian said of the last time he’s had his hair cut or trimmed. “I don’t know if it’s the longest in the NFL, but it’s past the middle of my lower back.”

So, if McMillian ever gets on the field he’ll be the dude with the dreads obscuring the name and number on the back of his jersey.

This brings up another important point, though. The Packers clearly favor defensive backs with long dreadlocks.

The list is long — Al Harris, Tramon Williams, Morgan Burnett, Atari Bigby, McMillian.

What else does it tell us? Well, it’s probably a good sign that McMillian is lazy and lacks hygiene, since he has no plans to cut his hair anytime soon. Hopefully, that doesn’t translate to the football field.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Shoeless June 22, 2012

    They prefer linebackers with long, stringy hair as well–Clay Mathews and A.J. Hawk. Are there no barbers in Green Bay?

  2. Hendecahedron June 22, 2012

    This long hair trend amongst players has been going on for quite a while in the NFL, so, yeah, this is a lame attempt at news. On the other hand, I fully support the initiative for players to sport long locks.

  3. John June 22, 2012

    Easy now.

  4. TkHelland June 22, 2012

    I think it gives them that “im a predator! look out assholes!” Look which made all of those guys famous. Mostly bigbys awful coverage but monster hits.

  5. Rodney Dangerfield June 22, 2012

    Ya maan! Lemme tell ya maan…

  6. nurseratchett June 22, 2012

    De Rastafari don cut dey heer an’ its IRIE.



  7. Cheese June 23, 2012

    Mike McKenzie… Bishop is kind of getting some hair too.

  8. iltarion June 26, 2012

    Its a cultural thing. You people don’t understand.