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Caption This Jay Cutler Photo Please

Jay Cutler

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is just out walking his rat dog in a pair of sweatpants he probably stole from his fat-ass fiance and wants to be left alone.

Can’t a man get any privacy?!

Ah, Cutty. At least you combed your hair.

Cutler is evidently flipping off the paparazzi here. Why the paparazzi are concerned about Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari, we’re not quite sure.

Anyway, caption this bitch. Put your caption in the comments. We’ll choose the best captions and let you pick a winner. Then we’ll send the winner something. What? Does it really matter? We’ve got all kinds of Green Bay Packers crap laying around that needs a good home.

Plus, there’s always pride, people. Pride!

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. evan oppedisano May 3, 2012

    that little dog left a massive piece of shit behind him

  2. Todd May 3, 2012

    Let me count the number of games I have quit on because of a fake knee injury.

  3. Sean Kelley May 3, 2012

    Come here Sparky…Daddy’s got a present.

  4. NDPackerBacker May 3, 2012

    Hey fucker, thanks for telling me these pants make my vagina look fat!!!

  5. Aaron May 3, 2012

    Looks like Cutler is up to a B cup now.

  6. Anthony May 3, 2012

    “This finger hurts and I’ll have to sit out all next season because of it”

  7. Packman May 3, 2012

    “My bitch wife’s pregnant, so now looking at her doesn’t make up for having to talk to her. Fuck you, let me have my moment alone.”

  8. Shmoseph May 3, 2012

    “Fuck you guys, leave us alone!! I need this dog to shit so I can go back to watching gay porn!!!”

  9. Duane May 3, 2012

    Whoever our Center is this year I’m gonna give him this one up the ass just like I used to do to Kreutz. That’s how me & my Bears’ roll!

  10. Bmerman May 3, 2012

    “I have this many brain cells”

  11. dang May 3, 2012

    this poor dog is constipated and THIS is the finger i use to help him.

    1. Abe Frohman May 3, 2012


  12. Abby May 3, 2012

    “I can count to this many now!”

  13. Carl May 3, 2012

    “Screw you guys! I know this little bulge in my sweat pants is proportionate to the size of this dog”

  14. Rebecca May 3, 2012

    F You! My vagina hurts. :’-(

  15. Bigshooter May 3, 2012

    This is what my girlfriend is doing to me right now behind me

  16. rip-ty May 3, 2012

    looks like gay cuntler is actually flashing an “L” for loser

  17. brooksnelson87 May 3, 2012

    “No, I’m not one of the fucking Baldwin brothers!”

  18. Tim May 3, 2012

    Hi, I’m Jay Cutler and I’m number one…..in the GAY department!

  19. Steve May 3, 2012

    Hey, look I broke a fingernail that’s why I’m not playing in the championship game.

  20. Chuck W. May 3, 2012

    “You shitsnaps want to rub it in? Fuck yo’ couch.”

  21. scott May 3, 2012

    Not only does Jay walk like around town like a diva, he flips the the bird like one too.

  22. DevilDon May 3, 2012

    Hey you fuckers make me look like a cunt on the field, can I at least have a private moment to look like a cunt off of it?

  23. Luke May 3, 2012

    -Jay Cutler passing Brett Favre on the street

    “Fuck you Favre, at least I’m not wearing crocks”

  24. GreenAndYellow May 3, 2012

    maybe it IS the size of the dog in the fight after all

  25. That’s really nice of Jay to take Kristen for a walk.

  26. Pack sux May 3, 2012

    I’m such a dipshit wannabe journalist, I don’t even realize Cutler is not married. Da Bears!

  27. Buster May 3, 2012

    “Got to walk the bitch or he’ll shit on the sofa” -the dog

  28. David May 3, 2012

    “Caught in the Act… photographer catches local pick pocket on film. Victim declined to press charges citing pressing appointment to the gyno and scoop duties.”

  29. hubie May 3, 2012

    all BARK no BITE …just like his dog

  30. Jay bird May 3, 2012

    Yes I have a small cock and dog and yes the bears still suck..
    Go Packers.
    Jay Cuntler

  31. peter May 3, 2012

    This is how big my penis is but Kristin says its all about the motion in the ocean.

  32. Kevin May 3, 2012

    Wanna smell my finger? Guess if it’s been in my ass all day or the dog’s!

  33. Pack sux May 3, 2012

    OMG, you guys are 12 year olds. Your “humor” is sophmoric, and your team suck. Bear Down!

    1. Dean Sanders May 3, 2012

      aw man, our team suck? or is it sux like your awesome screen name? Regardless, when I was scrolling through the comments, yours stood out to me because of the use of the word sophomoric (you actually used ‘sophmoric’ but i catch your drift) anyway, what better word to describe this picture, or more broadly speaking, Jay Cutler? Excellent diction Pack sux.

  34. Phillthy May 3, 2012

    Does my finger still have dog shit on it?

  35. B-rad May 3, 2012

    No, there isn’t a Super Bowl ring on any of my fingers.

  36. Ben May 3, 2012

    You’re probably wondering why this (finger) isn’t in my ass.

  37. Chad May 3, 2012

    “I may be the one with a leash on but i guarantee my dick is bigger”

  38. Johnny Appleseed May 3, 2012

    The Paparazzi probably just asked Jay if he bought a dog that resembles his toughness on the field.

  39. Rex May 3, 2012

    “Im still hurt and bleeding from the NFC championship loss….I just need one tampon.. can you help me?”
    -Jay Cuntler

  40. chasho May 3, 2012

    It’s official… He’s GAY!

  41. Martinez May 3, 2012

    “I don’t always do gay porn, but when I do I prefer this finger in me first.” – The most bitchiest man in sports

  42. Dean Sanders May 3, 2012

    “Oh shit, they’ll be able to see the feint outline made by my small penis through these awesome sweatpants….I know! i’ll just distract their eye by flipping the bird and looking frickin awesome and badass like i always do …………nailed it. man, im the best….. now back to daydreaming of Kristin putting her thumb up my butt”

  43. Ivomitonvikingfans May 3, 2012

    “A lesson in Badass.” The sperm burping Chicago way.

  44. Cheese May 4, 2012

    “Could you prick my finger please…
    My vagina is all dried up so now I have to check my blood sugar the old fashion way.”

  45. packerman May 4, 2012

    Ball licker walking with Butt Sniffer.

  46. packersdomination May 4, 2012

    “I’m gay.”

  47. Berry May 4, 2012

    The must have doggie fashion look of the summer, an ass-hat.

  48. Berry May 4, 2012

    Seeing eye dog leads man with down syndrome on a dildo hunt.

  49. Berry May 4, 2012

    This just in. Scientist have finally captured a pussy-fart on film.

  50. Jack May 4, 2012

    Is that a small pink dildo in his left hand…..and if so – considering the size – it must belong to the dog….guess he’s guy too…….

    Anyway, the caption: “Come home with me buddy and I’ll use this finger to please you”

    Bear down on these nuts Cutler….

  51. Jaykat May 4, 2012

    Yes Iv’e graduated from Gerbils, you don’t have to publicize it.

  52. Jaykat May 4, 2012

    Yes I’ve graduated from Gerbils, you don’t have to publicize it.

  53. Jaykat May 4, 2012

    So much for the change option….

  54. BZZSAW May 4, 2012

    FU. It’s not mine it’s Urlachers.

  55. Savage57 May 4, 2012

    The constant finger banging up the ass, getting kicked everytime the fuckin’ Bears lose, watchin him walk around all day in pantyhose is bad enough, but those faggoty looking orange shoes are the last straw – I’ve fucking had it.

    If I pull on this leash just a little harder this slit doesn’t have a chance!


  56. billyschwiliger May 4, 2012

    This is my IQ and number of times I’ve had heterosexual sex.

  57. kw83 May 4, 2012

    Kristen IS right! This push-up bra feels fantastic!

  58. Keith May 4, 2012

    holy crap, he has 3 arms.

  59. jimbo May 4, 2012

    Jay counts his playoff wins.

  60. Doug May 4, 2012

    Pictured here, a whiny, hairy, small, slow bitch, who constantly needs to be told what to do and retreats into a corner when hit or there are loud noises. Also pictured, a dog.

  61. guysocke May 4, 2012

    Jay Cutler offers his response to a request from the Make A Wish Foundation.

  62. Zach May 4, 2012

    I have sat on this finger all offseason. I was told it would help me lose weigh. It obviously hasn’t worked, and it smells like shit!

  63. Zach May 4, 2012

    Look, my finger, and my face, look just like Brett’s unimpressive cock!

  64. shannon whitney May 4, 2012

    Hi my name is jay cutler and I like making love to young puppies, so go now, and let me put my weenus inside this doggy

  65. PackerBob May 4, 2012

    “They’re not sweat pants! They’re comfort trousers! “

  66. BubbaOne May 4, 2012

    Bears fans “That’s my QB”, all others “What a douche”.

  67. BubbaOne May 4, 2012

    “Greetings mom and dad”.

  68. RodgerDat May 4, 2012

    Nice dog, fag

  69. I Love Camel Toe May 4, 2012

    “F” you Mom, take off the Aaron Rodgers jersey.

  70. Darrin May 4, 2012

    “Jay signals how many times his fat wife Kristin has used the gravy boat some assholes got them for their wedding.”

  71. nurseratchett May 4, 2012

    These pants prove my finger is bigger than my clit…I mean penis.

  72. BD Swingin' May 4, 2012

    “I’m on my way to shoot the new season of queer eye for the straight guy.”

  73. Kevin May 4, 2012

    Hey guy…I want to shove this finger so far up your ass!!! But damn it, you better allow reach-arounds!

  74. BubbaOne May 5, 2012

    Wow, just cuz I said, “we got bigger rats in Chicago.”

  75. Nick S May 5, 2012

    Leave me alone I’m walking my wife!

  76. Dan L. May 5, 2012

    “Eff off, you’re all a bunch of idiots. Kristin said if I walked her dog, she and her ‘second cousin’ would let me sleep on the couch while he’s in town”.

  77. Tim May 5, 2012

    Someone must be on their period..

  78. Hacksaw May 6, 2012

    “The Bitch” and “The Pussy” in “Who’s walking who?”

  79. Majikman May 7, 2012

    YUMMMMMM!!!!! Urlacher said it would taste like peanut butter.
    You see, I had just given little Spike his daily rectal exam when I noticed this soft, creamy, tan colored paste on this here middle finger of mine. It looked like the same stuff Urlacher gets on his finger when he does my daily rectal exam. He’s always told me I should try it and “Oh boy” was he right, it is good!

  80. Steve May 8, 2012

    The picutes says “Hey i am a dumb ass”