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Ahman Green Wants To Unretire

Ahman Green

We’re sure this will go well.

Former Green Bay Packers running back Ahman Green, who retired in a small ceremony at Lambeau Field last August, wants back into the NFL. One small problem — he’s 35 and hasn’t played in the league since the 2009 season.

After that season, Green didn’t get an offer from any NFL team, so he put on the pads for the Omaha Nighthawks of the UFL and then the Montreal Alouettes of the CFL before retiring. Now, he says he’s willing to come back in any role.

“I came into the league in special teams and I’d have no problem doing that again,” Green said. “Playing special teams in kickoff coverage, punt coverage. Just put me anywhere. I’m a football player first. That’s something my dad always reminded me. ‘You’re a football player, not just a running back.’

“If a team wants to call me and show serious interest, I’ll be ready.”

Considering guys like LaDainian Tomlinson can’t get a deal and Tiki Barber drew zero interest when he tried to return to the league prior to last season, there’s probably no chance in hell Green will get a shot to play in the NFL again.

We love Ahman Green, but it’s time to get realistic and move on.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Tarynfor12 May 17, 2012

    He wanted to sign up for the Concussion Lawsuit but he was told he can’t just act like he had one,so he put one and one together and came up with this scheme….I’ll get some dumb ass team to get me one.

  2. FrozenFanatic84 May 17, 2012

    He did play with Brett Favre afterall…

  3. Ivomitonvikingfans May 17, 2012

    It still pisses me off that Mike Sherman couldn’t unfuck himself enough to do something with that team. A still in his prime Favre, a dominating O-line, and Green piling up yards and punishing people. Those should have been special years. What a waste. Fuck!

  4. DevilDon May 17, 2012

    Thanks VomitOn that’s like digging a rusty screwdriver into an old wound and pouring vinegar and salt on it. Now I’m going to be pissed all day. Funny how so many think the Pack needs more of a running game these days. It’s nice but it doesn’t equate to a Lombardi.

    1. Ivomitonvikingfans May 17, 2012

      Sorry to salt old wounds Don. As for a running game in this current era, they really don’t need one. But damn it was fun watching them make pussies out of a lot of defenses back then. Green going for 98 against the Broncos is still a favorite of mine.

    2. Donny H. May 17, 2012

      Damn it all — I recall the 4th & 26 game when Mike dipshit Sherman decided to punt it in the 4th quarter instead of handing it off to his 1800 yard back to pick up one measly yard. I seriously want to kick Sherman in the nuts for all the horrible play calling and draft picks he made. Seriously, that was one of the greatest o-lines and backfields ever assembled in the franchise. William Henderson pancaking people on trap blocks and catching balls in the flat for 7-8 yard first downs are awesome memories. Like you said Vomit, what a waste, smh.

  5. DD May 17, 2012

    Piece of shit, prima donna, motherfucking traitor!

    1. Donny H. May 17, 2012

      A description of Brent Favre, your hero. You’re mad because you realized your penis is smaller than his after getting a close up of it in person. Even worse, since you have the smaller member that means that you are the one in the relationship to get bent over furniture. Sadly though you secretly like it.

    2. Donny H. May 17, 2012

      Also props to Ahman Green for having retired as a Green Bay Packer — something that Brent has failed to do.

    3. Pack Lethal May 17, 2012

      Wow, I didn’t know you were that upset when walked in on you’re boyfriend sucking some other dude off. I guess you told him.

  6. Pack Lethal May 17, 2012

    Ahman = Classy Guy

    Brent = Classless Dick Texting Vindictive Guy

    1. DD May 20, 2012

      Right, I especially thought Ahman was classy when he was cited for domestic abuse when he beat the shit out of his wife. I guess you conveniently forgot.

  7. nurseratchett May 17, 2012


    Pack Lethal:

    Ahman = Classy Guy


    1. nurseratchett May 17, 2012

      WAIT–I wish to clarify–he will only be a formerly classy guy if he plays for a NFC north team. If he just wants to play, God Bless him.

  8. nurseratchett May 17, 2012

    Was Favre the first to do this retirement roller coaster thing? I can’t recall. Well, even if he wasn’t the first, I believe the back & forth on retirement thing can still be called Favritis.

    Favritis: (farv-I-tis) a personality disorder manifesting itself by overly dramatic behaviors. Manifestations may include: 1-repeatedly announcing/recanting retirement most often including dramatic crying fits in front of a large audience (i.e., nationally televised storied NFL rivalry game); 2-revengefully motivated overly extreme actions (i.e., shitting on a fan base of millions by going to a division rival merely to stick it to a GM who no one will be able to name in 20 years); 3- lack of ability to realize potential consequences of ones actions (i.e., completely fucking what should have been an heroic/historic legacy) 4-complete disbelief in Karma (i.e., trying to end a career on a high note only to have your last career move still be a fuck-up with the only difference being a different work place)

    1. Savage57 May 18, 2012

      Good one Ractchett!

      I’d add one more:

      5 – shitting all over your wife while she puts up with your global-sized ego and narcissistic bullshit.