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You’ll Love The NFL’s Opening-Night Game

Jerry Jones

Remember when the Dallas Cowboys got penalized for some vague salary cap infringement a few weeks ago? Yeah, maybe keep that in mind.

Anyway, the NFL’s opening-night game will pit the Super Bowl champion New York Giants, per usual, against the previous season’s Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers

Oh, wait… nope. We were mistaken, along with the rest of, you know, anyone that matters. Pretty much everyone thought the NFL might just open their season with Packers at Giants, just like they did with Saints at Packers the year before.

That, however, would make sense and, more importantly, not appease Jerry Jones and his surgically-lifted face.

But hey, let’s be honest, Jerry’s fancy face and his salary-cap penalty have nothing to do with this. They have nothing to do with this at all. My playing Hank Jr. doesn’t bother my old lady.

Sure don’t!

Either way, one of us motherfuckers knows you can’t stomp us out and you can’t make us run, and I guarantee you that motherfucker don’t have the last name Jones. So, frankly, it’s alright that the Green Bay Packers don’t get their right to stroll into that shithole called The Meadowlands on opening night to avenge their playoff defeat and destroy those shitbags led by Eli.

Eli… hahahahahaha!

Anyway, yeah, America would definitely rather see Eli vs. Romo.

At least we’ll all know one team that’s eliminated from the playoffs right away!

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. jeff ircink March 27, 2012

    the feature that lets me click on your name for email won’t work (on my computer). someone is using my name and posting comments. i want it stopped. now, please.

    1. hubie March 27, 2012

      damn son

      1. hubie March 27, 2012

        they must be scared of a rematch , The cowboys REALLY???

    2. PackerFanInFl March 28, 2012

      For the record it ain’t me either…I hate your fucking guts but I wouldn’t do that even though you are a big douche. But considering you are a sheep fucking viking fan I doubt anyone will do anything.

  2. Ryan March 27, 2012

    The Super Bowl Champion is 8-0 on Opening Night. I have no problem not playing them then.

  3. peter March 27, 2012

    Pack were better when they had a chip this is just the start

  4. Madcity Packer Fan March 27, 2012

    I want a regular noon game to start our season.

  5. NotoriousBDT March 28, 2012

    Good, now I can sit back and laugh as that joke of a champion the giants, lose to the COWBOYS…..then again if the boys win, I’ll have to hear on sports center all year how the cowgirls are going to the super bowl with all that talent. either way we lose….

  6. Jeff Ircink March 28, 2012

    Ok that’s all fixed. Now i can go back to sucking off truckers. Thanks guys!

  7. PackerBob March 28, 2012

    Let the Packers fall under the radar again. The Cowboy will never with a Superbowl with Romo and the Giants won’t make the playoffs unless they struggle like they did the two years they did won the Superbowl.

    But honestly, I could really care less.

  8. iltarion March 28, 2012

    I am not big on playing on Thursday night. I would prefer the Packers’ season starts on Sunday, like it should.

    So, this is good news.