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DeSean Jackson Guarantees Super Bowl, Everyone Laughs

DeSean Jackson

Remember last offseason when everyone, including the Philadelphia Eagles themselves, were crowning the Phildelphia Eagles Super Bowl champs? That idiot Vince Young called the Eagles a dream team and we called them paper champions?

That worked out nicely, to the tune of an 8-8 season filled with pouting, whining and bickering. Now, one of the Eagles has proclaimed something equally as stupid.

Receiver DeSean Jackson, after signing his $50 million deal, went ahead and guaranteed a Super Bowl.

“In one of those years, I’m going to guarantee a Super Bowl. We’ve been so close since I’ve been here the past four years. …The sky’s the limit.

“Hands down I think we’re one of the best teams in the NFL. I want to shoot for the Hall of Fame. I want to shoot for Super Bowls. That’s something I haven’t done yet.”

Jackson isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you’d think he’d have some recollection of last year. And then you’d think he’d keep his mouth shut, but that’s not what the Eagles are about.

No, these Eagles are about making wild proclamations and then going out and shitting right in their drawers. So, for being this year’s Vince Young, we salute you DeSean Jackson.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. PackerBob March 16, 2012

    Actually, the Eagles got a lot better down the stench. But hasn’t this guy learned anything from Rex and Co? Saying something like that just makes you look stupid. Then again, stupid is as stupid does.

  2. Peter March 16, 2012

    Well we all know Andy Reid is the champion of the cheesesteak

  3. Vijay March 16, 2012

    Well…they did rattle off 4 wins o close out the season against the Skins, Cowboys, Jets, Dolphins…anythings possible.

  4. G March 16, 2012

    No one on the Philadelphia Eagles guranteed a super bowl last year, they just stated they were all in to win one. Vince Young made the comment off the cusp right after he was signed and excited, not to mention hes retarded. What would you prefer Desean says, that he doesn’t have much hope for the next five years and he aims for mediocrity? C’mon dude

    1. Dylan March 21, 2012

      you have to express confidence in your team, but you don’t guarantee a Super Bowl, out of everyone who’s ever done that I’m pretty sure it happened once.

  5. iltarion March 16, 2012

    Jackson guarantees he is overpaid. Now that would be a smart move.

  6. Hacksaw March 19, 2012

    Jackson is a toolbox that needs to shut his mouth.