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The Dynamic Duo Is No More

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

Ah, what could have been.

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and former reality star Kristin Cavallari are no more.

Cutler — because he clearly has loads of options — has called off the engagement. Apparently, he suffered a “knee injury” and decided he’d prefer to sit the last half of their life together out.

“She got dumped,” says a source. “She’s absolutely devastated. She can’t believe this is happening.”

Neither can we.

Cutler and Cavallari were engaged in April. She recently had an engagement party, he attended her Diesel fashion show in Miami two weeks ago and these clown already had their wedding registry posted, even though the wedding wasn’t supposed to be until next year.

We bought them a gravy boat for Christ sake! The humanity!

Maybe it was all just a ruse by Cutler to have people buy him gifts.

I hope you choke on that gravy you son of a bitch!

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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10 Comments

  1. packerfan2008 July 25, 2011

    this is awesome. this may be my favorite article all year.

  2. frozenfanatic84 July 25, 2011

    how much longer until Chicago runs this headcase out of town? everything he does does makes da Bears more of a league wide laughing stock! Kristin is better off without him…hopefully she gets the gravy boat! haha

  3. chris k July 25, 2011

    Do u get your money back??? haha

  4. nurseratchett July 25, 2011

    What’s the gravy boat look like? I might buy it off you cheap. Give it to some poor, lost soul friends of mine who are bears fans for their wedding Sept 10…

  5. Kozak July 26, 2011

    Well thats another ring Cuntler won’t have…

  6. iltarion July 26, 2011

    Rumor has it Cutler heard a rendition of “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” by Elton John and decided to call it off the next day.

    It is expected that Cutler will be coming out of the closet within the next week or two.

    1. nurseratchett July 26, 2011

      LMAO, Iltarion. You never fail to crack me up