Packers Get Five ESPY Nominations, No One Cares

Good job on that nomination, brah! Hope you're cool enough to win!

The ESPYs, ESPN’s concocted sports award show, is on par with the Xbiz Awards as far as I’m concerned.

Oh, you don’t know what the Xbiz Awards are? Well, they’re the wannabe AVN Awards, which is essentially the Oscars of porn. So I guess that would make the Xbiz Awards the Golden Globes of porn.

And that’s what high esteem I hold the ESPYs in.

After the real awards are handed out by the actual leagues, the people at ESPN come in and force a sports awards show down our throats that no one asked for, wanted or needed. It’s a reason for players to get dressed up and party and a reason for ESPN to make some more money.

Anyway, the nominations for this charade were announced and the Green Bay Packers received five of them.

Quarterback [intlink id=”25″ type=”category”]Aaron Rodgers[/intlink] netted two nominations — best NFL player and best male athlete.

Linebacker [intlink id=”454″ type=”category”]Clay Matthews[/intlink] was also nominated for best NFL player. Coach [intlink id=”67″ type=”category”]Mike McCarthy[/intlink] was nominated for best coach/manager. The Packers were nominated for best team.

So, the really super thing in all of this, if you give a shit, is you can vote on who the winners will be. Yipee!

In other words, the ESPYs are a big popularity contest that will be decided by a bunch of teenagers, which is so freakin’ awesome I can’t even put it into words!