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Minnesota Vikings

Vikings Offense Now Perfectly Tailored For Idiots Running It

Joe Webb

Verbiage is not his strong suit.

We all know that collection of sheep fuckers, pedophiles, stalkers and Taser bait known as the [intlink id=”35″ type=”category”]Minnesota Vikings[/intlink] aren’t the smartest bunch.

Oh, that’s right, they canned the pedophile. Nonetheless, the Vikings offense last season under coach [intlink id=”66″ type=”category”]Brad Childress[/intlink] and offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell was often too complex for the morons running it.

Enter new coach [intlink id=”1342″ type=”category”]Leslie Frazier[/intlink] and offensive coordinator Bill Musgrave, a pair of brainiacs who’ve been able to dumb things down a bit more appropriately (we suspect by no design of their own). Second-year quarterback Joe Webb, who will likely sit behind rookie Christian Ponder, says things have gotten, uh… simpler under Musgrave.

“The verbiage is a lot shorter. With Coach Musgrave’s, it allows you to play fast. You just call at the most three, four words and you have a whole play. It just allows you to not worry about calling the play but worry about executing the play,” Webb said.

“Last year I was more worried about getting the play called right in the huddle so everyone knew what to do. It also affected my game on the field.”

Webb, like most members of the Vikings, reads at a third-grade level, so verbiage isn’t his strong suit. In fact, words in general confuse most of the team.

Now that Musgrave has consulted Designing An Offense For Dummies, the Vikings should be in a lot better shape.

We certainly don’t want anyone’s head to explode because it needs to process information.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Chris K May 26, 2011

    W O W ! That offense is going to be special to watch lol!

    I Cant wait to see the Packers Defense go up against an offense that is fully entailed within 3 or 4 words (at most!).

    Go Pack Go!!!

  2. Xavier May 26, 2011

    Haha this made me lol :)

  3. iltarion May 26, 2011

    The multi-syllabic wording was a program non-fit.

  4. Scott May 27, 2011

    How many times did the author of this post have to reference the dictionary?
    I mean after all, everyone knows Wisconsin education is based on what they can glean from the wrappers off the food they shove in their mouths…you all should be Einstein’s, that being the case. Come on, you’ve seen the size of their women.

  5. Gary May 27, 2011

    This is hilarious, even the country boy Brett could figure out how to run a play in that so called complicated offense. Any sentence past 5 words must be tough to figure out. My 8-9 year old football teams plays were longer. It should be real fun watching the Queen’s this year. Yo Adrian go left. Yo Adrian go right. yo Adrian go middle

  6. killer May 29, 2011

    ima kill you

  7. kelly June 14, 2011

    You guys are morons. Simpler=Better when it comes to professional athletes. Many players in the pros would benefit from a simpler system. There is no need to overcomplicate things. Just let the guys go out and play. Packers fans are such douche bags. You better just hope ARodgers doesn’t get too many more concussions or you will be worse off than the Vikes.