Would The Real Jay Cutler Please Stand Up?

I’m not clever enough to write an entire article referencing Eminem’s popular song in witty sorts of ways, nor would I want any of you to think I’m a fan of his. So, the analogies cease here and onto the real question: does anyone else find it hilarious that Jay Cutler’s namesake is this meathead?

This guy’s name is seriously Jay Cutler! And he’s actually managed to win something in his life — he’s a four-time and the reigning Mr. Olympia.

Jay, maybe you should stand up, get your ass on the field when it matters most and start winning some meaningful games! Perhaps you could start by beating a team in the playoffs that has a winning record. And while you’re at it, don’t propose to that reality TV girlfriend of yours because she’s washed up and is going to look like Bob Barker in that State Farm commercial in five years.

But I digress, poking fun at Chicago Bears fans for their putrid quarterbacks over the years has been one of my favorite pastimes and this little nugget of info couldn’t make it any easier.

Off the top of my head (and I’m not even 30) I’m going with Cade McNown, Jim Miller, Craig Krenzel, Jonathan Quinn and Shane Matthews. The Bears quarterback play is so bad that when I looked up the rest, I was missing guys like Henry Burris, Chad Hutchinson and Moses Moreno. And for the sake of brevity, I’ll leave out the remaining 30-plus starters this poor city has endured since 1992.

The names are so egregious that if you bring up any one of them to a Bears fan, you get an immediate, angry and emotion-filled response that will make your day. That is, if you’re a Green Bay Packers fan like me.

The Bears dismal record at quarterback has been comical, and the fact that their current “star” signal caller is not even the most successful Jay Cutler in America says it all.