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Guy Who Took Out Favre Ad = Idiot

Well, it turns out our suspicions have been confirmed.

Ben Nelms, the guy from Madison who paid $1719.90 for a full-page color ad in the Hattiesburg American urging Brett Favre to play one more season for the Minnesota Vikings, is probably more ignorant than even the average Vikings fans.

Deadspin broke down the Favre ad yesterday and came away with this summation of Nelms.

Traitor, bigamist, bandwagoner, and Favre fan. I think that last one might be the worst.

Why so harsh?

First of all, 2009’s Minnesota/San Francisco game is the first Vikings game Nelms went to in the past 15 years. So, like a lot of Vikings “fans,” it’s easy to see when this tool jumped on the bandwagon. Oh, and Ben, don’t sprain your ankle when you jump off that motherfucker.

As for being a bigamist, Nelms opens his open letter to Favre by saying he was a Houston Oilers fan.

“As a young boy, I had two favorite football teams. One was the Houston Oilers (because once I saw the great Earl Campbell running over people, I was hooked) and the other was the Minnesota Vikings. Why? Because I had this one toy football helmet (you know, those little collectibles sold in the quarter machines at grocery stores); it was purple with the timeless white horn on the side. That’s all it took. From a young age I was imprinted.”

Yes you were. Imprinted with the stamp of failure and ignorance.

From that diatribe alone, this guy should be disqualified from being a football fan.

Actually, what am I saying? This perfectly qualifies Nelms to be a Vikings fan. Not only does he have dime store allegiance, but he has it for no real reason at all. I’m just thankful a Green Bay Packers helmet didn’t come out of the quarter machine that day.

So, anyway, let me serve up a little more idiocy from the Favre ad. Disclaimer: this may make you throw up in your mouth.

“So the rest of these words I write directly to one particular dude hanging out and healin’ somewhere down there in the warmth of Mississippi… Brett Favre, thank you, bro. You made a good team great. You gave a “big business” league some personality. You made a professional sport emotional. And you helped make, so it appeared to all of us, a group of teammates into a collection of friends. And that’s fun to cheer for, gosh darn it.”

I’ll give you a moment to rinse your mouth before I go on because no one likes puke mouth, gosh darn it.

OK bro, let’s move on.

That drool-mouth nonsense makes me wonder if Nelms has even watched an NFL game before the 2009 season. I think any self-respecting Packers fan can tell you football is an emotional game every Sunday and was so well before the 2009 season, but then, Packers fans don’t sell their allegiance on eBay.

So, Nelms goes from the idiotic to the transparent to the sappy before finally reaching the delusional.

“It’s this simple — we just want to watch you to play again. And you know what? I’m hardly alone. This is a sentiment that transcends team colors, a common feeling shared from the frozen tundra all the way down to the who ‘dat nation. Let’s just say it outright… football is a lot more fun with #4 on the field.”

I mention Nelms delusion simply because if there’s a common feeling anywhere near the frozen tundra, it’s that the Minnesota Vikings can crawl into a hole and die and that Brett Favre can go fuck himself.

But here’s what I really love – Vikings fans who have no sense of history (surprising, huh?) and pretend Favre wasn’t kicking their ass all over the place for 16 years. Was football more fun with #4 on the field then? Did I miss the ad you placed when Favre retired from the Packers or the Jets?

Fucking loser.


Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Nate March 3, 2010

    Lets leave packers news to packer fans and vikings news to viking fans…favre is no longer in green bay so lets move on and talk about the draft or something about free agency. Favre talk is done!

  2. Joey March 3, 2010

    You must be bored with your frequent masturbation. I thought this was America. Who cares if the dude wants to place an ad?

  3. Matt March 3, 2010

    Monty, keep telling it like it is. Nate, there’s no free agency news to report, and this shit’s funny – click my name for the vanilla stuff. Joey, rest up…then come on back with another post that says “I thought this was America.”

  4. Tom March 3, 2010

    Why so obsessed with Farve? Move on, go fishing, get a life. Having an obsessive attachment to a pro sports team is not healthy. As Seinfeld said, now a days all you’re cheering for is laundry. Any attachment of a pro team to yourself or your city is completely fabricated. Besides, the Packers are putting together a pretty good team, focus on that and be grateful that you have a good rivalry to make things more exciting.

  5. tequila March 3, 2010

    the only masturbation going on is the media’s and their love affair with Brett’s bitchy ass. this is the only site that tells it like it is.


    That was for you, Joey.

  6. Coon Dog March 3, 2010

    This letter actually brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, laugh all you’d like but what packer fans don’t seem to understand is that #4 was an adrenaline shot for us bleeding purple and gold. It was the perfect combination, a leader for our army. As Viking fans, it’s our obligation to show our support for Brett’s return. We all saw what happened when the packers forced him out. Your organization will always be remembered for treating your greatest player ever like a kicker. Not us, not now, not ever! We will never turn our back on him. We’ll continue to cherish every snap, leap, and TOUCHDOWN (especially against the packers) much to the delight of the greatest fans in the world. Love you Brett,

  7. TPS March 3, 2010


  8. Sonny Crockett March 3, 2010

    I was a Packers fan since the late 50’s (not anymore)and some of you “fans” should settle down and stop acting like the preverbial fool when it comes to Favre. When he came to Lambeau, I was there, I stood, cheered and gave him a standing ovation before, during and after the game. He gave his heart and soul and left everything he had on that field for 16 seasons. You got Rodgers, Lord willin’, he’s a good one. Man-up and let it go.

    Sonny Crockett

  9. PackerFanInFL March 3, 2010

    “Your organization will always be remembered for treating your greatest player ever like a kicker”

    Yah you guys scooped up that doushe (longwell) as well!

    Hey Sonny, Lets see if your preachin your barney purple love when favre retires for good…seriously I hope you and everyother “favre” fan stay the fuck away…BTW how are your beloved jets doing this year?

  10. jeff ircink March 3, 2010

    good comment, nate. leave it be. why…why are some Packer fans obsessed with Favre so much so that you continue to talk about him when he’s gone?
    must be jealousy. like i said in in earlier post on this blog. i give this puppy 6 mos….

    this site is the only site that tells it like it is, joey? spare me – there are hundreds of better Packer sites.

  11. jeff ircink March 3, 2010

    and why is Brett a “fucking loser” (the author’s words)? cause he finished better than AR this year?

  12. jeff ircink March 3, 2010

    oops – was the author calling the guy who took the ad out a “fucking loser”? perhaps i read it wrong.
    if so delete my comment above.

    one more thing. your (author’s comment) mention of Viking fans having no sense of history and about Favre kicking their ass i think is a bit off. i’m quite certain every Viking fan out there has a sense that the team has lost 4 SB’s. thing is they’re not living in the past – not like Packer sites that continue to cover Favre news like he’s on the team yet. Viking fans are reveling in the present. there’s nothing wrong with that…

  13. Al Borland's Beard March 3, 2010

    Isn’t it somewhat redundant for Jeff and coon to be telling us to get over Favre and stop complaining about him despite the fact that they continuously post here to tell us how mcuh they dislike the site?

    Btw how long until Favre receives some shaven pubic hairs in a box from this psycho? This guy needs a serious grip on reality.

  14. bryan berg March 3, 2010

    You sir are a sniveling, whiney, little douchebag. You are disgrace to packers fans everywhere. Get over it!

  15. tequila March 3, 2010

    Sonny: you stood up and cheered for the Vikings? What a crap Packers fan you are. I was at the game too, and I can tell you, everyone who cheered for Favre was either wearing chili stained purple or a bunch of booger eaters who can’t figure out wrong from right.

    Jeff: As a Packers news blog, Favre stories, especially the bizarre sycophantic turds like Ben Nelms, are more than appropriate. As ESPN tells the revisionist history of Favre and his good old boy BS, we at Total Packers continue to set the story straight.

    Coon: Packers forced him out? Drinking the koolaid…diva wanted out and got his way. Go eat some more chili.

    Joey and bryan: AMERICA! AMERICA! (karate punches!)

  16. Linda Gygax March 3, 2010

    I am a Packer fan with a lot of love and respect for Brett Favre. I only wish Favre the best and if the means a superbowl for the Vikings well so be it. I thought that the fan from Madison’s article in Favre’s local paper was great.

  17. Nate March 3, 2010

    I posted not as a packer fan because of this past year. I was also at the game at Green Bay when Favre returned. I was totally disgusted at how a man who did so much for the organization is suddenly in 1 year an ass hole. Just remember he wanted to come back and Green Bay let him go. Just because Favre moved on and is doing well packer fans don’t have to get all upset about it. I soon realized that the packer fans at that game were not packer fans…they were favre hatters. I however am a Favre fan for life and I am proud to now say I am a Vikings fan. SKOL VIKINGS! I went to every dome game after the packer game and i feel like i truely fit in there. The vikings are where it is at and the family I want to be with. So long packer’s!

  18. Steffen March 3, 2010

    Nate get your facts straight. How many times do we have to go through this… he had been trying to go to Minnesota since Bevell and company left.

    And Nate, if you’re not lying and you actually switched allegiances over this… then you’re a complete idiot.

    But I think you’re comment is bogus.

    The reason this ad bewilders packer fans is that it’s another example of bandwagon jumping Viking “fans” trying to co-opt his whole career. Here is another example:


  19. Nate March 3, 2010

    Your just mad because Favre did well in Minnesota and you can’t handle that his best statistical year wasn’t the place where he spent 16 years but with a team he spent 1. For years I had viking fans telling me what ass holes we are in green bay. I always thought he was an ass hole as well as the vikings. But the way Favre was treated coming back to Green Bay showed me how disrespectful and ungrateful the packer fans truly are. Im not saying all because i know there are some who support favre and I respect you all that do. My whole thing isn’t how I like the vikings but how the packers keep harping and harping about Favre and how stupid the fans are. Let Viking news be read and appreciated by viking fans and let Packer fans worry about what is most important to them. At the moment it seems the packers are more worried about whether favre comes back and not how well the team will do next year. Also there were a lot of people who jumped on the packer bandwagon when favre was there too! Just leave the Favre problem to the vikings because frankly it is none of your business anymore!

  20. BronxJoe March 3, 2010

    I just stumbled upon this blog and although I am neither a Viking or Packer fan (J! E! T! S! JETS JETS JETS) I feel the Packer fan pain. When Favre came to Ny we were pumped, only after one season did we realize it was his true intentions to skip town to Minn. My boys and I felt duped when he said it was his last year, only to sign with Minn. Anyway, I’m over it (we have our franchise guy now) but I can understand the Packer fans being PISSED. This guy held their fans and franchise hostage only to turn around and spit in their face.


    If Jeter were to retire, then sign with Boston I might kill somebody but I would never, I repeat, NEVER become a RedSox fan. How can you idiots shift teams based off one guy??? So when Favre retires, do you become a Packer fan again? Man, you Favre worshippers should be stripped of your Fan Cards.

  21. Jurgens March 3, 2010

    Nate – now that you switched sides, have you found that all of your sweatpants and zubaz have chili stains in them? We play your new favorite team twice a year. It’s our business.

    Jeff – hundreds of Packer sites better than this… really? Hundreds. Prove it. It may not win any design awards, but at least it’s readable.
    Should Total Packers take cues from your seizure inducing blog?

  22. Nate March 3, 2010

    I actually lied, I have been a viking fan since I was 8…I just wanted to starts shit on a random packer website. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUCK IT!

  23. Bearsnake March 3, 2010

    Nate, Coon Dog, and Jeff-

    If bullshit were money, there’s no doubt in my mind that the three of you could fund the new stadium in Minnesota.

  24. Jurgens March 3, 2010

    Not when they’re blowing all their BS currency on can after can of Hormel Chili, Bearsnake.

  25. Nate March 3, 2010

    I live in South Dakota…Minnesota spends too much time trying to put AL Franken into office and doing all there labor costs that they get in debt and can’t fund it…I can’t help the fact that the state is having issues…the stadium will come but in time.

  26. Nate March 3, 2010

    As for now we will just continue to enjoy our time in the loudest stadium in the NFL to date!

  27. tequila March 3, 2010

    I appreciate how Queens fans continue to prove our ‘dumbest fans in the world’ stereotype. We continually provide information that documents the selfish, backstabbing, cowardly, dishonorable, and dishonest behavior of Mr. Favre. Yet, all you have to say is ‘you’re just mad’ or ‘get over it’. It’s like talking with a 14 year old.

    Linda: If you wish the Vikings and their quarterback a superbowl then that makes you a Vikings fan. Sorry if this is a shock.

    Nate: With all the grammatical errors and idiotic incoherent babble you’ve posted here you were never fooling anyone.

    Bronx Joe: See this shit we have to deal with? You are right on. Aside from your coach who talks shit about Woodson, I like the Jets a lot.

  28. Raj March 3, 2010

    This article was fucking awesome!!! too funny.

  29. Michael March 3, 2010

    I’ve been to this blog before (only when Favre’s name is mentioned – a tactic sure to increase your lame readership numbers), and the only posts I have seen reflect the sorry and pathetic state a portion of Green Bay fans have sunken into over the past two years.
    Regardless of how sappy this guy’s ad to Favre may have been, it is just used by the blog poster as a platform to deny his true admiration for Favre.
    Don’t forget who was telling who to go fuck himself – that was Ted Thompson’s (and Mike McCarthy’s) message to Favre.

  30. jeff ircink March 3, 2010

    jurgens…hahaha. my blog is 1,000’s of times better than this. been around since 2007 and read by thousands of people. if i could print this out on TP i’d wipe my arse with it. apples and orange, pal. apples and oranges.

  31. jeff ircink March 3, 2010

    bearsnake….no bullshit. THE TRUTH. you’re all bitter, hypocrites. look in the mirror. this entire blog proves that fact. BRETT, BRETT, BRETT, BRETT, BRETT. i don’t see any article about AR. Christ, even Favre’s name is in larger type than AR’s in the tag list on the left panel.

    and did you delete articles? the first article i commented on i can’t even find. at that point, there were 4 of 10 posts on Brett. where are they all. am i missing your ARCHIVE button?

    to start with go to PackerPalace.com. it’s one of the best. then go to the link that lists all the Packer sites linked to PackerPalace. there’s about 105 sites you outta look at.

  32. jeff ircink March 3, 2010

    …and i don’t ever want Total Packers to take anything from my blog. please, don’t visit. i don’t want you guys hanging around.

  33. Luke March 3, 2010

    All of you who boo’d Favre when he came back to Green Bay are not true Packer fans, and either are the people that are now fans for the Vikings. When Greg Maddux went back to the Cubs and pitched against his former team, the Atlanta Braves, he got a standing ovation, not boo’d. Favre gave the Green Bay Packers everything he had for his entire career there. Also, Favre was forced out by Thomson, if you actually know the true story, Favre had told many people that he felt like Thomson did not want him there, before Thomson’s first year as GM was even over. I am a Packers fan, however I cannot wait to see Thomson out of Green Bay, he has done a terrible job, and lost us a lot of great players. That being said, I root for Favre every week, he turned our franchise around, and still deserves our respect. I also root for Darren Sharper, Mike McKenzie, Ryan Longwell, and the former Packer coaches because of what they gave to Green Bay. There is no reason to hate Brett Favre, I am pissed that he left as well, but I am not pissed at him, all he wants to do is play, I am pissed at Packers management for letting our greatest player of all time go

  34. jeremy March 3, 2010

    Yeah McMahon move on stop writing this shit.

    It’s not like these Favre posts get ten times the looks and comments. Your clearly the only one who’s dwelling on this Favre thing.

  35. Jeff March 3, 2010

    Awesome article. All you people saying Packer fans should get over it? Do you know what it means to be a Packer Fan? You missed the entire point.

    I don’t understand how people have the conception that the Packers booted Favre. He decided to leave, then decided to come back at the last minute like whiny baby. GB had no choice, they had already committed to Rogers. Idiots.

    Keep sayin’ it like it is!

  36. tequila March 4, 2010

    Yeah, Jeremy, NOBODY pays attention to Brett Favre. Moron.

    It’s weird Jeff, that you spend all your time looking up Packers sites and suggesting them in talk back on other Packers sites. I can only imagine the drool you leave elsewhere. Suggestion: reduce the amount of porn, get a girlfriend, or try on a real team for size. You clearly have championship envy.

  37. Sonny Crockett March 4, 2010

    This is my last post on the subject, but yes “tequilla”…..real cute by the way…I DID stand up and cheer for someone whom I respect and admire….and alas…no-one was foolish enough to through anything at me, lest they would’ve spent the night gettin’ checked out at the local emergency room. Favre DID get forced out, WAS treated like a third rate kicker and when the three stooges (Murphy, Thompson and McCarthy) are gone, I’ll be back. Classless at the top and MANY of you “fans” are acting the same way.
    Here’s hopin’ “He” comes back and lights you guys up TWICE again, cause I doubt you’ll make the playoffs.
    Boy that was great wasn’t it, Favre lightn’ the Packers up at Lambeau, wasn’t it?!
    Was my Super Bowl…..
    My last post….the last bitch-slap is mine….
    Sonny Crockett

  38. Al Borland's Beard March 4, 2010

    Sadly for you and Brett, that’ll have to be your Superbowl because the Vikings nor Favre won’t be seeing the real one anytime soon. Oh, and please just stay a Viking or Favre or whatever fan you are, just don’t associate yourself with the Packers.

  39. Al Borland's Beard March 4, 2010

    Btw my issue with this ad doesn’t have anything to do with it being addressed towards Favre, it could be a Packer fan writing to Aaron Rodgers for all I care. It’s just that I think it’s sad and pathetic that someone would admire an athlete so much to pay $1,700 for a full page ad basically verbally fellating an athlete who couldn’t give two shits about you.

    Look, I understand Brett has given many years of enjoyment through watching him play. But he’s no god damn hero, he plays football, occasionally takes pills, and does annual retirements, that’s it. He didn’t rescue you and your family from a burning building, he didn’t cure world hunger, he’s a fucking athlete.

    Some of these fans need a serious grip on fucking reality. Putting up billboards and ads just to fucking stroke the ego of one of sport’s biggest diva attention whores. Maybe I’m mistaken but haven’t their been two big natural disasters recently? Aren’t we in an economic downfall where many have lost jobs and some cannot afford to eat or find a place to stay.

    But hey, who cares about that. Anyone interested in starting up a fund so we all fly down to Mississippi and suck off the land baron? And sonny, coon, jeff, whatever, if you hate the site so much, I’ve got a grand fucking idea for you, stop visiting.

  40. Jurgens March 4, 2010

    Sonny, is that all? Is that what counts as a bitch-slap these days?

    You’re the worst type of football fan. You have such a low self image of yourself and where you’re from that you made the mistake of attaching your self worth to a single prominent player. A good ol’ boy sports hero like Favre made you feel relevant and when he left you couldn’t make sense of it. So you switched sides! Pathetic.

    We don’t ever want “fans” like you back. Ever. Once a Viking Fan always a Viking fan. You have been tainted and stained, not unlike the chili stained sweatpants you wear to work everyday. What is it with you idiots and chili anyway? It’s weird.

  41. Derek March 4, 2010

    I just hope he comes back so he can throw 4 more touchdowns at Lambeau field. Packer fans that want to trash favre, because ted is a tool can suck it.

  42. Jameson March 4, 2010


    I hate to ruin what you “really love” most, but us Vikings faithful were never pretending Favre wasn’t “kicking our assess all over the place for 16 years”. We knew it, we respected it, we sdmired it, we envied it, and we really enjoyed that he FINALLY made the 2 Packers games something WORTH WATCHING instead of 2 extra fall yard work days every year, …for the first time since the freakin’ 1960’s!

    And that’s not all. When he took that tiny cow town of yours to the Super Bowl, we all cheered and said, “this is the REAL America’s Team, owned by the town, …not some loud mouthed corporate Texas marketing bullsh.. ! We were proud of Favre, proud of a community owned team, proud of little Green Bay, WI – suddenly back on the world map.

    So when the new Packers brain trust decided they were done with him, we couldn’t believe it, ..OF COURSE WE WANTED HIM! DUH!

    He MADE the Packers exciting! He MAKES the Vikings exciting! IT IS THAT SIMPLE. The touchdown strike with 2 seconds against San Fran last years was arguably the single best play of the entire NFL season! -I am sure you can understand it. In fact, …I am very sure you know it.

  43. tequila March 4, 2010

    Right, Sonny, you won’t be back. You are the worst kind of human, let alone football fan. You sound like some sort of liberal America hater that switches ideas every year with no sense of purpose or place. Revisionist Packers history. If you blame the Favre drama all on Ted, you deserve to stay in MN.

    Meanwhile, we are waiting for your bitch slap. Go back to stealing bagged milk from Kwik Trip or putting decals on your bug deflector, or whatever old turds like you do.

  44. tequila March 5, 2010

    Jeff, I know how it works. It’s just that every time I see you post something I have an overwhelming urge to use the word TROLL.

  45. jeff ircink March 5, 2010

    it’s not like i’ve heard the word TROLL before, tequila. you’re right – part of what i’m doing here is trollish and unacceptable. part of it also is to uncover why so many Packer fans – and their particular feelings – are hypocrites when it comes to Favre. not saying you have to like him. and you should cheer against him when the Pack is playing the Vikes. that’s not it at all.