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Brad Childress sports comedy

Everything In Childress’ World Makes Sense Now

Father of the year, no doubt.

Well, if you read this blog very often, you know we think Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress is a pedophile (or at least looks like one). So then it makes sense that his son, Kyle, is also a delinquent.

Kyle Childress was charged with second-degree DWI in St. Paul, early Saturday morning, the second time he’s been stopped for a DWI.

We gave Kyle a call and asked him what he was thinking, and really, this is a sad story.

“Well, I am constantly trying to suppress the memories of my father sexually abusing me as a boy, so I often turn to alcohol and drugs,” the younger Childress said. “Sometimes I make bad choices, and honestly, this is probably just my way of asking for help. I just want to be loved – in a non-creepy, non-sexual way.”

And it gets worse.

“Ever since Favre came around, my father hasn’t given me any attention at all – good or bad. Everything is Brett this or Brett that,” Kyle said. “He even sleeps over at Brett’s house some nights and doesn’t come home at all, but I guess that’s better than him trying to sleep in my bed.”

We always knew it, Brad – you sick son of a bitch.

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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8 Comments

  1. Jeremy January 9, 2010

    Not that I don’t think this is funny McMahon, because it’s fucking hilarious. I just worry about you being liable for slander. As a publisher I hope you know more about those rules than I.

  2. Vijay January 9, 2010

    My thoughts exactly…delete!! Watch out for libel/ slander…after all, this is a free country?

  3. Courtney January 10, 2010

    I think this is horrible. DELETE NOW! And God Bless Kyle in these dark times.

  4. mary January 10, 2010

    YOU are a complete idiot! Where do you get off judging this family on such a personal level. I hope if such a tragedy ever affects YOU on such a personal level no-one would be as craze and unhumane of an asshole as YOU are! I can’t believe I am even taking the time to react BUT this is such garbage from an obivous TOTAL JERK

  5. Don January 11, 2010

    No one has ever got a DWI in the great sober state of Wisconsin, have they? Your bio states that “Monty is a writer and editor. In his spare time he enjoys BEER, women, WHISKEY…”. Have you ever got a DWI Monty, enjoying your beer and whiskey in your spare time?

    The unfortunate thing about the internet is that any moron can set up a web site and spew whatever trash they desire, however stupid or vulgar it may be.

    One must assume Monty is still bitter that Brett Favre decided to go play for a better team. Go Favre, go Vikings!

  6. NattyPol January 11, 2010

    Where’s your proof? Even an anonymous source would be more credible than this piece of shit story.

    1. Monty January 11, 2010

      I don’t need proof because this story is clearly tagged as “satire.” Look it up on the dictionary you moron.

  7. Tom January 11, 2010

    Packer fans have serious issues. I’m glad I don’t define who I am by a sports team that I have nothing to do with. My advice is to move out of Wisconsin to some place were you can actually have a life.