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I got benched on Sunday, but the fans think I'm a Pro Bowler!

If only the NFL could idiot proof the Pro Bowl voting process. You know, make people prove they’re not complete fucking morons before they’re allowed to vote.

Obviously, if there were any such measure in place, it didn’t work this year. We told you which way the voting was going last week, and it turned out even worse than we could have expected.

In the AFC, two guys who’ve been injured most of the season – the Pittsburgh Steelers’ Troy Polamalu and the Indianapolis Colts’ Adam Vinatieri – finished as the top vote getters at their positions. Polamalu, who was the leading vote getter at strong safety, has played in five games this season. He has 20 tackles. Vinatieri, the top kicker, has only played in five games, as well. He’s 6-for-8 on field goals this season.

These guys absolutely have Pro Bowl numbers… if you’re playing football in fucking China.

Then there’s the Baltimore Ravens’ Ray Lewis, who finished first at inside linebacker. Does anybody watch the games? Lewis, although he has decent stats, is a shell of the player he used to be.

Let’s go to the NFC, though, so I can really get bent out of shape.

Ten Minnesota Vikings were voted as starters by the fans, although, based on these results, I revoke the right of anyone who voted for this lineup of has-beens and never-will-bes to call themselves a fan.

Amongst the fans’ picks is the Vikings’ Bryant McKinnie at tackle. That’s right, the same Bryant McKinnie who got benched on Sunday because he was playing so terribly.

There’s Vikings’ fullback Naufahu Tahi. Who?


Maybe you like Vikings’ center John Sullivan, who’s in his first year as a starter and has become dominant faster than almost any center on record… oh… wait, no he hasn’t.

How about Vikings’ running back Adrian Peterson, who has an imposing three 100 yard games this season? Oh, wait, that’s the same number that Ryan Grant has. Nevermind.

Man, I could go on, but I’m out of energy and I’m probably wasting my breath anyway. The idiots who voted for these guys don’t read this site. In fact, I’d be surprised if they can read at all.

The positive news for Packers’ fans is that after all my pissing and moaning about the Eagles’ Asante Samuel leading the NFC cornerback race last week, Charles Woodson ended up as the top vote getter.

He’s the only member of the Packers to do so.

Thankfully, as I’ve explained before, the fan vote only counts towards 1/3 of the overall vote for the Pro Bowl. The coaches and players each account for 1/3 as well.

Hopefully some of these moronic fan choices will be sent home where they belong when the full vote comes in. Maybe then the game can have a modicum of integrity.


Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Jim Rarick December 24, 2009

    Dude, all the Packers will be preparing for the Super Bowl and can’t play. So for them, it won’t matter. Just hoping.

  2. Jim Rarick sucks December 25, 2009

    Dude, Jim.. I know your a fan and all.. but seriously.. take off your Packer goggles and get your head unstuck from outta your ass. Late.