Brett Favre Update: Day 576

As you know, we really love writing about Brett Favre this time of year, instead of the Green Bay Packers, but I would be remiss if I didn’t at least mention what has (or has not, depending on who you’re reading) gone down since Friday.

First, you may recall the seemingly conflicting reports from last week – the first from Yahoo! that said Favre told Vikings’ coach and douchemaster, Brad Childress, that he wasn’t going to play this season, and the second from ESPN that said the Vikings were looking at X-rays of Favre’s injured arm to determine if he could play.

We went from Brett staying retired to the strong possibility he would play for the Vikings (if he’s able) in the course of one day.

Well, on Saturday, ProFootballTalk ran a story in which an editor for Yahoo! Sports defended their story.

“You may not have heard of Rick Schwartz (he’s a producer and on-air talent for us), but in this business, it’s who you know, and Rick happens to know the right person for this story,” Assistant Managing Editor Mark Pesavento told PFT’s Mike Florio. “Unfortunately, we had to give anonymity to protect his source, but trust me when I say this person would know.  That way you can avoid having any more egg on your face when Schaap’s report is proven to be nothing more than the imaginings of Bus Cook.”

So, let’s see, it looks like Brett is going to stay retired. Far out.

As you may recall, Schwartz wrote the initial story that said Favre had rebuffed the Vikings. On Sunday, Schwartz talked to ProFootballTalk, himself.

“I stand 100 percent by my story. Favre told Childress that he’s not coming back. I am 100 percent accurate on that,” Schwartz told ProFootballTalk.

ProFootballTalk, among others, have speculated that Schwartz is related to one of the Vikings owners. Schwartz offered that he was “not directly” related to majority owner Zygi Wilf.

Anyway, the point is that Favre is retired for good. Right on.

Yesterday, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reported that Favre has been playing ball with the local high school kids again, among other things.

Favre’s friend J.D. Simpson says only the quality of the Vikings roster has kept Favre’s meandering through the maze of possibilities. “If this had been a year ago, bang, he’d be in Minnesota right now,” Simpson said. “I think this decision is tougher for him than any of them. He really sees Minnesota as a legitimate team that can go all the way. I think in his mind he was retired, but the quality of that team makes this a tough one.”

Simpson acts as team chaplain for Oak Grove High School, where Favre works with the football team to stay in shape. Simpson warmed up with Favre on Monday before Favre threw to the team’s receivers. “I didn’t have a helmet on,” Simpson said. “I wish I had. I help out with the receivers, and he threw a few that bounced off some facemasks out there.

And so, Brett isn’t really retired. Bummer.

The Star Tribune report led the Green Bay Press Gazette to question why Favre was working out if he had no intention of returning, today.

So that begs the question: if Favre is planning to stay retired, why would he be throwing to a bunch of high school receivers last week? The presumption is he is testing out his arm, which could lead one to believe he wants to play if the biceps tendon tear in his arm has healed.

Yes, so Brett is going to come back then. Great.

Or maybe he isn’t. Who the hell knows.

The one thing we are 100 percent certain of here at Total Packers, is that the Minnesota Vikings and their fans are a bunch of cunts, and that will never change.

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