Posts tagged Minnesota Vikings

Brett Favre Loves Pants On the Ground and Ass-Slapping

I’ll be honest. I had no idea what “Pants on the Ground” was until today. I don’t have any interest in who the new American Idol is going to be. I don’t care that Simon Cowell is leaving the show. I can’t remember who replaced that crazy broad Paula Abdul. If you, like me, don’t […]

No Love For Mike McCarthy

Mike McCarthy

Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy got no love in the NFL Coach of the Year race, despite some speculation that he might. As we predicted, the Cincinnati Bengals’ Marvin Lewis ran away with the award. McCarthy finished… well, he didn’t get any votes, so he didn’t really finish anywhere. Oddly enough… or perhaps not […]

They Love Brett Favre In Cambodia

In honor of our favorite traitor quarterback and the dregs of the NFL – the Minnesota Vikings, who we wish all the bad fortune in the world – we thought today would be an appropriate time to whip out our latest video. Recently, a friend of the Total Packers family took a trip to Cambodia. […]

No One Wants to Coach in Chicago

Lovie Smith

Well, maybe not no one – Chicago Bears’ coach Lovie Smith probably still wants to coach there, but he hasn’t exactly been given a recipe that’s likely to result in success. After firing half of his staff, simply because the Bears’ organization was too cheap to do what they really wanted to do and fire […]

Woodson Packers’ Lone All Pro

Charles Woodson

In news that should really surprise no one, cornerback Charles Woodson is the Green Bay Packers lone member of the NFL All-Pro team. The All-Pro team is voted on my members of the Associated Press and made up of the top players from both conferences, unlike the Pro Bowl, which separates the squads into AFC […]

Woodson Picks Up Another Award And Rex Ryan Is a Douchebag

Charles Woodson

Green Bay Packers cornerback Charles Woodson won the NFL Defensive Player of the Year on Tuesday by a wide margin. On Wednesday, he picked up the Sporting News’ NFL defensive player of the year award, which is voted on by 636 players, coaches and executives. Woodson again finished first by a wide margin, receiving 241 […]

Woodson Wins Defensive Player of the Year By a Landslide

Charles Woodson

Green Bay Packers cornerback Charles Woodson put the question to rest today. He’s the NFL Defensive Player of the Year and he won by a wide margin over New York Jets’ cornerback Darrelle Revis. Woodson received 28 votes to Revis’ 14. The Denver Broncos’ Elvis Dumervil and the New Orleans Saints’ Darren Sharper tied for […]

Everything In Childress’ World Makes Sense Now

Well, if you read this blog very often, you know we think Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress is a pedophile (or at least looks like one). So then it makes sense that his son, Kyle, is also a delinquent. Kyle Childress was charged with second-degree DWI in St. Paul, early Saturday morning, the second time […]

Packers Defensive Line Will Win Super Bowl

The statement alone is preposterous – the Green Bay Packers defensive line will lead the team to a Super Bowl title – but the statistics back it up. We’re talking about the Defensive Hog Index, developed by Cold Hard Football Facts. The Green Bay Packers rank first this season and that’s significant because, since it’s […]

Vikings Lose Los Angeles As Leverage In Stadium Battle

The Minnesota Vikings lost some big-time leverage in its quest for a new stadium. The company behind the plan to lure the NFL back to Los Angeles announced Tuesday that the Jacksonville Jaguars and Buffalo Bills will be the first teams it will try to relocate. Majestic Realty Co. managing partner John Semcken said the […]

Brad Childress Is An Idiot, Part 2

Look into Chillys eyes... Look deep into Chillys eyes!

Hey, it’s not even us who’s saying it this time, although we can’t say we disagree. We can’t say some people didn’t get to this party a little too late. We can’t say we didn’t say it first. Brad Childress is an idiot. That’s essentially what ESPN NFL analyst Trent Dilfer told the Pioneer Press, […]

Did Cutler Flip Off Chicago Fans?

One of the more entertaining stories coming out of the Chicago Bears’ delightful OT victory over the slumping Minnesota Vikings involves Bears quarterback/mouth breather extraordinaire Jay Cutler. Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio asks whether Cutler flipped off Chicago fans after they booed the Bears’ decision to take a knee with nine seconds left in regulation […]

NFC Playoff Scenarios Abound Entering the Final Week

Devin Aromashodu and Bears have muddied up the playoff picture

After the Chicago Bears 36-30 win over the once-thought-to-be-indestructible Minnesota Vikings last night, there are plenty of playoff scenarios that could play out on the final week of the season. We know two things for sure. First, the six teams in the playoffs are the New Orleans Saints, Minnesota Vikings, Philadelphia Eagles, Arizona Cardinals, Green […]

Darryl Tapp: Might As Well Play For the Vikings

Darryl Tapp

Who is Darryl Tapp? He’s a mediocre defensive end for this week’s Green Bay Packers opponent, the Seattle Seahawks. And, according to Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, he’s also a guy who bites people on the football field. We don’t have confirmation of this yet, but we hear the Minnesota Vikings are trying to work a […]

Fans’ Pro Bowl Selections An Even Bigger Joke Than We Thought

If only the NFL could idiot proof the Pro Bowl voting process. You know, make people prove they’re not complete fucking morons before they’re allowed to vote. Obviously, if there were any such measure in place, it didn’t work this year. We told you which way the voting was going last week, and it turned […]

Favre-a Donna Rears His (Big) Ugly Head

Oh no, not again! Mah hair!!

At least now we know who wears the pants in the Minnesota Vikings organization. And it sure isn’t Brad Childress. In a “heated discussion” rivaling any soap opera or made-for-TV movie, quarterback Brett Favre pulled the diva card Sunday night and refused to come out of Minnesota’s game at the Carolina Panthers after Chilly tried […]

New Vikings Stadium Options Unveiled; Team Notably Absent

The pipe dream in print.

A consulting firm hired by the group that operates the Metrodome unveiled a cheaper plan for a new Vikings’ stadium Thursday. The new pricetag? About $870 million if construction started next year. That’s about $84 million less than the most recent figure of $954 million, primarily because of lower product and labor costs, according to […]

Jets’ Revis Woodson’s Main Competition For Defensive MVP

This cat is good

Around these parts it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that the Green Bay Packers’ Charles Woodson will be the NFL Defensive Player of the Year. We’ve looked at the competition and crunched the numbers. But we may have overlooked one guy – New York Jets’ cornerback Darrelle Revis. Previously, our discussion centered around the Minnesota […]

Don’t Go To the Bathroom in the Metrodome

You could probably sleep in here if you had to

We’ve covered the continuing saga of the Minnesota Vikings and their desire to get out of the Metrodome and into a new stadium extensively, but here’s some evidence of just how bad that stadium really is. The Minnesota Twins, the other resident of the Metrodome, will begin play at a new, non-domed, non-relic-of-yesteryear stadium next […]

Mostly Idiots Voting For the Pro Bowl

Totally Pro Bowl material

I hate to say this, but most fans of professional sports are idiots, which is why I hate the fact that fans have a say in which players play in the respective all-star games. I should put a disclaimer here, because I don’t lump Green Bay Packers’ fans in with most sports fans. Their passion […]