Posts tagged Minnesota Vikings

LeRoy Butler Pities Brett Favre

Former Green Bay Packers safety LeRoy Butler has always been outspoken when it comes to the subject of Brett Favre. Last year, he told Jim Rome he’d retire before playing for the Minnesota Vikings. Today, Butler said he pities Favre because he can’t find anything to do with his life other than play football. “I […]

Jared Allen Mauled By Dog

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking — it’s too good to be true. Well, unfortunately, it is. Everyone’s least favorite hillbilly/sheepfucker Jared Allen was indeed mauled by a dog. On the negative side, he was wearing protective gear when the mauling occurred. Allen took part in a training exercise with while in Afghanistan on a […]

Brett Favre May Play Until He’s 50

Because frankly, we have nothing better to do at the moment — and neither does the national media, who NEED some sort of Brett Favre story, while they wait for Brett Favre to tell them Brett Favre is going to play in 2010 — we’ll bring you this. Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre says maybe […]

Brett Favre And Vuvuzelas = Awesome

This is, in a word, awesome. Our favorite Minnesota Vikings quarterback not named Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels has some breaking news for you. Brett Favre. It’s awesome! Originally posted at another place that’s awesome, Cheesehead TV.

Brett Favre Is Saddened, Might Cry

His Lord and Majesty Brett Favre couldn’t go one day without any Brett Favre news, so he had to do what he does best, and manufacture some. In a recent Men’s Journal feature, Favre’s agent, Bus Cook, called Favre a drama queen, which, as we all know, is waaaaaaaaaay off base. What did Favre do […]

Packers No. 22 On Forbes’ List Of Most Valuable Sports Teams

The Green Bay Packers came in at No. 22 on Forbes’ list of most valuable sports teams, with a value of $1.02 billion and revenue of $232 million. The list is lead by the English Premier League’s Manchester United, which has a value of $1.83 billion and revenue of $459 million. The Dallas Cowboys are […]

Not Even Bus Cook Likes Brett Favre

Maybe that’s an overstatement. We know one thing — Bus Cook likes Brett Favre’s money. However, Cook, who is Favre’s agent, clearly doesn’t think much of Favre’s antics when it comes to dealing with the media, according to Favre’s recent Men’s Journal interview. Cook takes exception with Favre telling ESPN’s Ed Werder he needs ankle […]

More Details Emerge On The Brett Favre Divorce

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre is a megalomaniacal prima donna, this we know. We all knew he wanted to stick it to the Green Bay Packers when they decided to move on, even though he said he didn’t. Despite his previous denial that his move to Minnesota wasn’t about revenge, Favre now admits he wanted […]

Trouble Brewing In Minnesota?

As you probably know, I hate the Minnesota Vikings. More than terrorists. So, this potential disaster/distraction/whatever puts a smile on my face. Vikings running back Adrian Peterson isn’t happy. Who would be, playing for that despicable franchise? Michael Lombardi reports Peterson will be the next player to complain about his contract. Peterson is still playing […]

The Losers In Minnesota Keep Lining Up

Todd Glocke

If we only had a firing squad here at Total Packers, we’d all be much better off. That way, when these ignorant, moronic, mouth breathers from Minnesota line up for their latest Brett Favre stunt, we could do society and future generations a favor. Frankly, the stench of idiocy emanating from Minnesota never ceases to […]

Is Westbrook Still An Option In Green Bay?

Earlier in the offseason, the Green Bay Packers expressed interest in free agent running back Brian Westbrook. The former Philadelphia Eagles star has had injury problems his entire career and missed eight games with concussions in 2009, but when healthy, Westbrook has been a force, twice rushing for 1,200 yards. Now 30, Westbrook appears near […]

Even Married, Jared Allen Still A Douche

We told you full-time asshat, part-time Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen was getting married. Guess what? That obviously crazier-than-a-shithouse-rat bitch actually went through with it. So we all get to hear about Allen’s honeymoon, which was a camping trip to Arkansas stay on the coast of Italy. And just when you think Allen can’t […]

Remember That Brett Favre Video?

If you read this blog, you surely remember the video from St. Paul Pioneer Press Columnist Jim Ragsdale, who, in a lame attempt at humor, made a video plea for quarterback Brett Favre to come back to the Minnesota Vikings. If you didn’t see it, our title for that post was: Another Stupid Brett Favre […]

The Thing About Preseason Predictions

Is they don’t mean anything. Sure, the Green Bay Packers are the preseason darling of many — the fashionable Super Bowl choice, if you will. What does that get the Packers? High expectations. Granted, there’s no reason this year’s version of the Packers shouldn’t have high expectations entering the season, but it’s July 1. No […]

Another Stupid Brett Favre Plea From Another Stupid Minnesotan

Clearly, those idiots to the west don’t know how this Brett Favre thing works. Granted, this will only be the second year of Favre’s tenure with the Minnesota Vikings, and Vikings fans are the most ignorant lot in all of professional sports fandom, so maybe we should give them a break… No, that’s a terrible […]

Athlete Style Fails: Brett Favre

Brett Favre

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has never been known as a fashion plate. I’ve never seen him wear a tie, he always has an old t-shirt and baseball cap on during press conferences, and he endorses Wrangler jeans, which sums things up pretty nicely. In short, he has no taste, which is obvious when you […]

Adrian Peterson’s Fiancee Was In Playboy

Adrian Peterson and Ashley Brown

Hey, it’s the slow part of the offseason, so we’re going to make sure to bring you as much news revolving around our primary non-Green Bay Packers interest — broads — as possible. We’ve told you about Matthew Stafford’s broad and Aaron Rodgers’ broads and now we’re going to tell you about Minnesota Vikings running […]

Vikings Shiancoe: Nothing Will Change On Offense Without Favre

Minnesota Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe thinks the team’s offense will be the same whether it’s Brett Favre or Tarvaris Jackson behind center. That’s right, the wunderkind Tarvaris Jackson. I about shit myself, before laughing hysterically, when I read that statement. OK, so maybe Shiancoe didn’t say exactly that, but he did say this. “Nothing […]

Vikings Still Angry, All Of Wisconsin Sheds A Tear

It appears the Minnesota Vikings still aren’t over their NFC Championship game loss to the New Orleans Saints. According to that fat fuck, drug-abusing defensive tackle Pat Williams, the Vikings are still angry. Oooooooooh! We’re all real fucking frightened! “It was kind of hard (at the beginning) because it was on everybody’s mind,” Williams said. […]

Ian Johnson Lives Out My Dream

Running back Ian Johnson has lived out my dream. You may remember Johnson as the guy who proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend immediately after he scored the winning two-point conversion (on a Statue of Liberty play) in Boise State’s upset over Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. But that isn’t the reason. And it isn’t […]