We all know that collection of sheep fuckers, pedophiles, stalkers and Taser bait known as the Minnesota Vikings aren’t the smartest bunch. Oh, that’s right, they canned the pedophile. Nonetheless, the Vikings offense last season under coach Brad Childress and offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell was often too complex for the morons running it.
It’s only speculation at this point, but conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh could be a viable candidate to buy the Minnesota Vikings. The catch is Limbaugh would probably relocate the team to Los Angeles. The Vikings are trying to get the state of Minnesota to cough up money for a new stadium and they haven’t had much luck yet.
In yet another showing of just how much the Minnesota Vikings suck, defensive end Ray Edwards told the media this week he’d rather be a boxer than play for the team next season. Edwards made his professional boxing debut Friday night and thinks he has a better future in the ring than on the field. Really, we’re talking about the Minnesota Vikings here, so who could blame him.
There isn’t much good news to come out of this blight of an offseason, also known as the 2011 NFL lockout, but if there’s a silver lining, it’s this: the Minnesota Vikings are likely to be most affected by it. And when we say affected, we mean negatively. The labor dispute will likely drag into late June, if not July.
Even the coaching staff is getting in on the long-standing Minnesota Vikings tradition or being a completely idiotic douchebag. Defensive line coach Karl Dunbar may soon join the ranks of all-time shitbags like Randy Moss (hitting a police officer), Daunte Culpepper (The Loooooove Boat), Bryant McKinnie (aggravated battery, The Loooooove Boat), Onterrio Smith (The Whizzinator) and Everson Griffen (arrested twice in the same weekend, Tasered).
NFL commissioner Rodger Goodell has agreed to contribute money to the construction of a new Minnesota Vikings stadium after meeting with Gov. Mark Dayton, Tuesday. The amount the league will pitch in hasn’t been disclosed, but it should help ensure the Vikings will both get a new stadium and stay in the Minneapolis area.
It was destined to fail, and it looks like opponents of the latest Vikings stadium proposal have found a way to fuck things up again. A new group, NoVikingsTax.com, says it’s discovered a loophole that would let voters decide whether a new stadium should be built with public money — no matter what the Legislature or Ramsey County do.
I’m going to skip all the usual shots we like to take at Minnesota Vikings fans, today. Well, maybe not all of them. In case you haven’t heard, the Vikings want to move out of the shithole known as the Metrodome they currently play in. The team has two competing plans for a new stadium.
There’s not much we enjoy more around these parts than making fun of that joke of an organization known as the Minnesota Vikings. Their debacle of a 2010 season was fitting for so many reasons and frankly, it couldn’t have happened to a greater group of people. Thanks to Fly Over Entertainment, we’ll soon be able to relive the Vikings’ 2010 season in all its glory.
It case you couldn’t hear the groans coming from the west, the Minnesota Vikings selected Florida State quarterback Christian Ponder with the No. 12 overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. Some might say the pick was a reach, and I’d be one of those people, but the Vikings were desperate for a young quarterback and quarterbacks were quickly disappearing at that point in the draft. Gone were Cam Newton (No. 1), Jake Locker (No. 8) and Blaine Gabbert (No. 10).
They have a marathon in Boston at some point every year. I don’t pay attention. Running that far is for idiots and people who can’t afford rice. Oh! Look! I beat my personal best! Oh! Look! I can buy my starving Ethiopian family a bag of rice by pawning this medal! Oh! Look! I proved […]
The douchiest team in the NFL… no, sports history, the Minnesota Vikings need themselves a quarterback. Washington Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb needs a new team after falling out of favor with coach Mike Shanahan. Well, you can put two and two together, as we did some time ago.
Another new way to fund a Vikings stadium is revealed. As if we weren’t already sick of the back-and-forth over a new Vikings stadium, another new bill was introduced in the state Legislature on Friday to fund the plan and get it off the cutting room floor. The already controversial plan to raise as […]
We haven’t speculated about Brett Favre coming out of retirement and for good reason. Favre maintained 2010 was his last season throughout the year and even went so far as to file his retirement papers with the league once the season is over. Every indication is Brett Favre is retired from football. Of course, this is Brett Favre we’re talking about. He’s come out of retirement three times already.
Although several analysts have suggested Washington Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb could be the guy who eventually winds up behind center for the Minnesota Vikings, the team has a lot of options. Peter King suggests the Cincinnati Bengals Carson Palmer is one of them. Palmer has said he won’t play for the Bengals again and who could blame him?
It seems like we were talking about this at this time last year. Oh yeah, we were. Then-Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was clearly on his way out of Philly and Brett Favre was giving every indication he planned on staying retired, which, in hindsight would have been a tremendous idea. So, why not reunite McNabb with his former offensive coordinator, then-Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress? Obviously, a lot has changed since then.
Go figure. A member of the Minnesota Vikings is a humorless prick. Alright, maybe that’s taking it a little too far, because Adrian Peterson at least tried to be funny. He just wasn’t. He was kind of dumb, which, now that I think of it, is another trait of people in Minnesota. You knew that […]
The Minnesota Vikings are a bunch of stupid, classless thugs and cornerback Chris Cook, a second-round pick in 2010, is no different. Cook was arrested in Lynchburg, Virginia on Saturday for pulling a gun during a fight. Brilliant! Cook is the second Minnesota Vikings player to get arrested since the season ended, joining defensive end Everson […]
The Minnesota Vikings have used their franchise tag on linebacker Chad Greenway.
The move is significant because the Vikings also have two other key starters headed toward free agency — receiver Sidney Rice and defensive end Ray Edwards.
I’m sure you remember Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, who had to pass the U.S. Senate resolution honoring the Green Bay Packers, and then had the gall to say the Minnesota Vikings will win it in 2012.
I mean, if there was ever a Senator with her head up her ass…
Well, apparently such delusions extend to Minnesota Vikings players, as well.