I’m going to skip all the usual shots we like to take at Minnesota Vikings fans, today. Well, maybe not all of them. In case you haven’t heard, the Vikings want to move out of the shithole known as the Metrodome they currently play in. The team has two competing plans for a new stadium.
There’s not much we enjoy more around these parts than making fun of that joke of an organization known as the Minnesota Vikings. Their debacle of a 2010 season was fitting for so many reasons and frankly, it couldn’t have happened to a greater group of people. Thanks to Fly Over Entertainment, we’ll soon be able to relive the Vikings’ 2010 season in all its glory.
It case you couldn’t hear the groans coming from the west, the Minnesota Vikings selected Florida State quarterback Christian Ponder with the No. 12 overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. Some might say the pick was a reach, and I’d be one of those people, but the Vikings were desperate for a young quarterback and quarterbacks were quickly disappearing at that point in the draft. Gone were Cam Newton (No. 1), Jake Locker (No. 8) and Blaine Gabbert (No. 10).
They have a marathon in Boston at some point every year. I don’t pay attention. Running that far is for idiots and people who can’t afford rice. Oh! Look! I beat my personal best! Oh! Look! I can buy my starving Ethiopian family a bag of rice by pawning this medal! Oh! Look! I proved […]
The douchiest team in the NFL… no, sports history, the Minnesota Vikings need themselves a quarterback. Washington Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb needs a new team after falling out of favor with coach Mike Shanahan. Well, you can put two and two together, as we did some time ago.
Another new way to fund a Vikings stadium is revealed. As if we weren’t already sick of the back-and-forth over a new Vikings stadium, another new bill was introduced in the state Legislature on Friday to fund the plan and get it off the cutting room floor. The already controversial plan to raise as […]
We haven’t speculated about Brett Favre coming out of retirement and for good reason. Favre maintained 2010 was his last season throughout the year and even went so far as to file his retirement papers with the league once the season is over. Every indication is Brett Favre is retired from football. Of course, this is Brett Favre we’re talking about. He’s come out of retirement three times already.
Although several analysts have suggested Washington Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb could be the guy who eventually winds up behind center for the Minnesota Vikings, the team has a lot of options. Peter King suggests the Cincinnati Bengals Carson Palmer is one of them. Palmer has said he won’t play for the Bengals again and who could blame him?
It seems like we were talking about this at this time last year. Oh yeah, we were. Then-Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was clearly on his way out of Philly and Brett Favre was giving every indication he planned on staying retired, which, in hindsight would have been a tremendous idea. So, why not reunite McNabb with his former offensive coordinator, then-Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress? Obviously, a lot has changed since then.
Go figure. A member of the Minnesota Vikings is a humorless prick. Alright, maybe that’s taking it a little too far, because Adrian Peterson at least tried to be funny. He just wasn’t. He was kind of dumb, which, now that I think of it, is another trait of people in Minnesota. You knew that […]
The Minnesota Vikings are a bunch of stupid, classless thugs and cornerback Chris Cook, a second-round pick in 2010, is no different. Cook was arrested in Lynchburg, Virginia on Saturday for pulling a gun during a fight. Brilliant! Cook is the second Minnesota Vikings player to get arrested since the season ended, joining defensive end Everson […]
The Minnesota Vikings have used their franchise tag on linebacker Chad Greenway.
The move is significant because the Vikings also have two other key starters headed toward free agency — receiver Sidney Rice and defensive end Ray Edwards.
I’m sure you remember Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, who had to pass the U.S. Senate resolution honoring the Green Bay Packers, and then had the gall to say the Minnesota Vikings will win it in 2012.
I mean, if there was ever a Senator with her head up her ass…
Well, apparently such delusions extend to Minnesota Vikings players, as well.
Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, a die-hard Minnesota Vikings fan (and therefore, loser), was forced to pass a resolution honoring the Green Bay Packers for winning the Super Bowl.
Klobuchar was in charge of wrapping up the Senate’s outstanding business Friday and had to read the resolution, which passed with unanimous consent.
In just one season on the team, defensive end Everson Griffen has learned the Minnesota Vikings way. That is, be a complete embarrassment to yourself and the NFL like so many great Minnesota Vikings before you. Represent the Minnesota Vikings like they deserve to be represented. Conjure memories of idiots like Favre, McKinnie, Culpepper and […]
Minnesota Vikings cornerback Frank Walker wants to get you involved in porn. That is, if you’re a hot chick. Walker sent this Tweet out last week. “New porn site coming soon and my boy is looking for females. Paying like 200 to 700 per hour.” Of course, as is Twitter protocol, when someone well known […]
Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has a tiny, girl bladder and like all Minnesota Vikings, a cold, cold heart. Apparently, Peterson and his little girl bladder had to piss so badly he stood outside a McDonald’s drive-thru at 3 a.m. and asked to be let into the store. The assistant manager, who was working […]
Can someone send an S.O.S. to Minnesota Vikings coach Leslie Frazier and his staff? A telegraph of sorts on behalf of the grizzled grandpa himself, Brett Favre? Something like this: Leslie, Your old-ass quarterback has done broked himself again. Really bad, this time. He can’t think straight, and that robotic arm you implanted in him […]
Over in Minnesota, things continue to get worse for the Vikings, which normally would be great. That’s not the case, at the moment, however. In addition to the giant hole in the roof of their shitty stadium and concerns surrounding the availability of TCF Bank Stadium, where the Vikings are trying to host their Monday […]
A fitting metaphor for their season. The shithole that the Minnesota Vikings call home, the Metrodome, collapsed overnight. Or at least the roof did. There is now a hole in the middle of it from the build-up of snow — the Cities reportedly got close to 20 inches yesterday. The Vikings game against the New […]