Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler’s Sore Vagina Doesn’t Know If Jay Cutler Can Make It

Jay Cutler

We know you’ll be astounded, but Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler already has a sore vagina. It isn’t expected to keep him out of Sunday’s contest with the Green Bay Packers, but it might make him sit out for the second half.

Source: Cutler-Cavallari Rumors Bogus

Jay Cutler

Despite reports, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was not with former fiance Kristin Cavallari last weekend according to one of our sources. So it doesn’t look like the dynamic duo will be reforming anytime soon.

Rumors Of Cutler-Cavallari Reunion Circulate

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is reportedly trying to woo Kristin Cavallari again. Cutler called off the engagement, proving he really is as dumb as he looks.

Jay Cutler Will Not Be Choking On That Gravy After All

Cutler return card

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and former fiance Kristin Cavallari have decided to return all the presents from their wedding gift registry, which means they will not be choking on the gravy from the beautiful gravy boat we purchased for them.

The Dynamic Duo Is No More

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler has broken off his engagement with former reality star Kristin Cavallari. We suspect the whole thing was just a ruse to make us buy him a gravy boat.

Cutler And Cavalli Getting Gravy Boat From Us For Their Wedding

Jay Cutler

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and fiance Kristin Cavallari have posted their wedding registry almost a full year in advance of their nuptials. Total Packers has already made their day extra special by buying them a large gravy boat.

Nick Collins: Jay Cutler Really Stinks

Nick Collins

Hey, we’ve been saying it for some time and Green Bay Packers safety Nick Collins agrees: Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler stinks. Actually, Collins didn’t utter the exact words, but he did convey the message. During an appearance on Colin Cowherd’s radio show Tuesday morning, Cowherd asked Collins’ opinion on who the toughest quarterback in the NFL is to face.

Jay Cutler’s Knee Fantastic, Vagina Still Hurts

Jay Cutler

We’re glad to know the get well card we sent to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler after he stood around with a dumb look on his face for the second half of the NFC Championship game paid off. Cutler, who “sprained his knee” at the beginning of the third quarter, is back to playing football now that nothing at all is on the line.

Jay Cutler: A Joke Even To Politicians

Jay Cutler

We figure most politicians are humorless pricks, but apparently even they get the Jay Cutler joke. That is, that Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is a joke. It started on Monday when Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan, a Republican from Janesville, opened his speech at the Economic Forum in Chicago with these words.

Cutler, Cavallari Will One Day Produce No-Talent Offspring

Jay Cutler

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is the biggest mouth breather on the face of the planet. He’s also a quitter, but that’s not important here. Reality star Kristen Cavallari, of Laguna Beach “fame,” has no discernible talent and dumbs down every room she’s in. So really, it’s perfect that the pair, who’ve been dating since last fall, got engaged over the weekend.

You’re Hurting Jay Cutler’s Feelings!

Jay Cutler

The Chicago Bears main mouth breather, Jay Cutler, is finally talking. Cutler hasn’t spoken publicly since the Bears lost to the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Championship game, while everyone with any sense questioned his toughness for not playing the second half of the game.

Lovie Smith: Still An Idiot

Lovie Smith

After Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith led his team to the NFC North title and NFC Championship game last season, I began to develop some respect for him. Since then, he’s done nothing but prove my initial feeling about him correct. He’s a complete idiot.

Would The Real Jay Cutler Please Stand Up?

Jay Cutler

I’m not clever enough to write an entire article referencing Eminem’s popular song in witty sorts of ways, nor would I want any of you to think I’m a fan of his. So, the analogies cease here and onto the real question: does anyone else find it hilarious that Jay Cutler’s namesake is this meathead? […]

Now Naked Guys Are Cursing Jay Cutler Before Getting Arrested

Jay Cutler

The king of the mouth breathers and Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler can’t catch a break.

I guess that’s what happens when you give up during the NFC Championship game, spend the second half standing around on the sidelines looking stupid and then don’t say peep while everyone and his brother is trashing you in the media during the offseason.

Get It Straight: Jay Cutler Is Awesome!

Jay Cutler

Another day, another jerkoff defending Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. This time it’s Bears offensive coordinator Mike Martz. Martz is here to remind us Cutler is tough and tell us he’s going to be an elite quarterback. You know, the same Jay Cutler that decided not to play the second half of the NFC Championship […]

Quitler

Remember when Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler quit on his team during the second half of the NFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers because his vagina hurt?

In case you forgot about it, I thought now would be as good a time as any to remind you.

Vomit-Inducing News Of The Day: Jay Cutler Getting Engaged

Jay Cutler

The more I think about it, the more this makes sense.

A no-talent quarterback is getting engaged to a no-talent reality star.

That’s right, mouth-breather extraordinaire and all-around vagina, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is getting engaged.

Jay Cutler Is Weak And Everyone Knows It

Jay Cutler

How does your starting quarterback not finish the NFC Championship game? Ask the Chicago Bears. Jay Cutler left the NFC Championship game in the third quarter with what turned out to be a sprained MCL. He then stood and watched the rest of the game from the sideline. You’d think they would have had to […]

The Most Interesting Man In Chicago

Jay Cutler -- Most Interesting Man in Chicago

Ah, gotta be Chicago Bears quarterback and legendary mouth breather Jay Cutler, who helped usher the Green Bay Packers into the playoffs with much fanfare this past weekend by tossing two interceptions. Oh, I should have noted where he threw those two interceptions. Thanks to Mike for passing this on.

The Honeymoon Is Over… Again

The honeymoon between quarterback Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears… or at least Chicago Bears fans and the Chicago media, didn’t last long. The guy who was supposed to take the Bears to the promised land (preseason, 2009), quickly became the guy who was being booed off the field (regular season, 2009) on his way […]