Our anger has partially dissipated. Our embarrassment remains prevalent. The Green Bay Packers got killed 36-16 by the defending champion Seattle Seahawks in a game that looked like varsity vs. junior varsity.
Hey, it’s just one game. We imagine these two teams could meet again in the playoffs and then the storyline will be, well, these are two totally different teams from those that met in week 1. If that happens, then that storyline will certainly be true because the Packers team we saw on Thursday night isn’t even a playoff caliber one.
Let’s be honest with ourselves here. That was a disaster in every respect. The Packers lost three starters to injury — tackle Bryan Bulaga, running back Eddie Lacy and tight end Richard Rodgers. Their defense, which was supposed to be improved, was exposed in the same old spots it was last year. The offense, which was supposed to be the strength of the team, was underwhelming and anemic. And as is always the case, the special teams were a joke.
Even the game plan and coaching were crap. The Packers looked lost at times, which makes you wonder about their preparation.
At any rate, here are five more somewhat rational thoughts about the week 1 drubbing.
Special teams, again?
Man, this is just disgustingly frustrating. At what point can the Green Bay Packers get a new special teams coach? Obviously, they’re not going to make a change at this point, but is the Packers special teams not an embarrassment just about each and every season? Thursday night, more of the same. The Packers were like, yeah, we’re going to put our best guys on returns, then they put running back DuJuan Harris on kicks. Predictably, Harris brought kicks out of the end zone that he shouldn’t have and was eventually replaced by Micah Hyde. Coverage units? Well, there was that one fumble recovery by Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, but other than that, Percy Harvin had a 31-yard return and Mike Daniels had a running into the kicker penalty that gave Seattle a first down.
We ask the same question every year — when will Shawn Slocum get fired? Tired of asking it. If you or I did our jobs as consistently poorly as Shawn Slocum, we would have been unemployed long ago. What’s going on that this guy still has a job?
Oh, but he’s a veteran!
We’re really getting tired of this bullshit thinking as well. Every year, certain veterans always get the benefit of the doubt over the younger players with the Packers. A.J. Hawk, Brad Jones, Morgan Burnett… No, I wasn’t even making a list of guys who played like dog shit on Thursday. That’s a list of three guys who were handed starting jobs without having to compete for them. I cannot express in words how awful Brad Jones was. Morgan Burnett wasn’t good either. We particularly enjoyed when he ran into Hawk, allowing Percy Harvin to run wide open over the middle for a 33-yard gain.
There’s something to be said for letting a young guy play and grow into his role. The Packers refuse to do that. But come on. At this point, it wouldn’t even be that. Put Jamari Lattimore into the lineup. Even if he has to grow into the role, he’s still got to be a better player right now than Brad Jones.
Meanwhile, the Packers actually had two safeties who played pretty well on Thursday. Their names are Micah Hyde and Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. Certainly, it’s a preposterous thought that the Packers would actually start their best two safeties. Morgan Burnett would have to gut someone with a steak knife at midfield for the Packers to consider taking him out of the lineup.
There’s a lesson to be learned here…
Last year, we all learned the lesson of what happens when you don’t have an adequate backup quarterback. Turns out, you lose games. WHO KNEW!? This year, we will surely learn the lesson of what happens when you don’t have adequate offensive line depth. We understand that Derek Sherrod was once a first-round pick. He is clearly awful though. There’s no way around that. He couldn’t block anyone on Thursday night after entering for the injured Bryan Bulaga. We can’t fathom how this guy even has a roster spot after that display. Oh, that’s right. Because the Packers literally have no other option. After Sherrod, their backups on the offensive line are guard Lane Taylor and center Garth Gerhart, who was just brought up off the practice squad.
Ring, ring!
Hello, uh, Ryan? Yeah, so I know we basically just discarded you after last season, but we’re kind of in a bind right now. You see, Letroy Guion is starting at nose tackle for us. And, well, I dunno. Maybe the Vikings had a good reason for cutting him after last season. I thought they were crazy, but maybe this guy is a total lop of shit. Anyway, what kind of shape are you in? Do you think you might want to come back and play some nose tackle for us?
We’re not saying the Packers are going to call up Ryan Pickett, but we are saying that Letroy Guion is a piece of shit. Basically, the Packers decided they’d start a guy the Vikings cut and played a total of nine snaps in the preseason at nose tackle. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!
I’m not even saying we’d be in favor of bringing Ryan Pickett back. But could he be any worse? That’s doubtful. We’re pretty sure something has to be done. Move Josh Boyd to the middle. Activate Mike Pennel for fuck’s sake.
Something. We’ve seen enough of Guion.
On the bright side…
Were there any positives to come out of Thursday night? Well, we saw one. The Packers secondary, for the most part, looked pretty damn solid. We know Seahawks fans want to anoint Badgers great Russell Wilson the next Joe Montana, but the guy only threw for 191 yards. I think we’ll take that any week.
Other than Morgan Burnett, the safety position looked vastly improved over last year. The corners were solid, as expected. Hell, the Packers even had a pass rush. Even though they recorded only one sack, there were guys in Wilson’s face pretty much all night. Much of the time, Clay Matthews was one of those guys.
Hell, if the Packers could ever find some decent defensive linemen or inside linebackers, this might be a pretty stout defense.