Well, not really. But this headline does proclaim the Chicago Bears are Stanley Cup champions. That’s probably as close as they’ll get to a trophy for a while.
Who still sucks? The Chicago Bears, in case you forgot. This video of Matt Forte arguing with some local TV hack will remind you of that fact. Bear down!
The Chicago Bears have signed Jacquizz Rodgers, which should complete this year’s Super Bowl-quality roster. He wants to Quizz on your face! No lie.
The Chicago Bears signed safety Antrel Rolle this week and we were all real impressed. We’re even more impressed after hearing Rolle’s reason for signing.
The Chicago Bears have decided to trade receiver Brandon Marshall to the New York Jets. Apparently, the Bears believe they have too much talent. Totally logical.
The Chicago Bears have a decision to make at the quarterback position. Thus far, the new regime is not committing to the great Jay Cutler, but what other options do they have?
Jay Feely, who kicked briefly for the Chicago Bears in 2014, has some opinions on why they were so bad. He says Jay Cutler and Marc Trestman were not leaders. We find that really hard to believe.
Chicago Bears fans really are the cream of the crop. They showed it again on NFC Championship weekend by getting creative to support the Seattle Seahawks. You’ll never believe what an awesome job they did either.
The Chicago Bears have gone and gotten themselves a coach. He is Denver Broncos garbage John Fox, who will now get to lose to the Packers twice a year.
Chicago Bears Martellus Bennett and Kyle Long are fighting on Twitter because one of them unfollowed the other. These seems fairly emblematic, doesn’t it?
We know you were wondering who’s going to be in charge of screwing up the Chicago Bears for the foreseeable future. The answer is new general manager Ryan Pace. We’ve been wowed again, Chicago!
The Chicago Bears can only think of what might have been. Thanks to former GM Phil Emery, the Bears were a dysfunctional mess from day one of his tenure.
The Chicago Bears canned general manager Phil Emery and coach Marc Trestman on Monday, which is probably bad news for the Green Bay Packers. Of course, so long as they keep their legendary QB, we’ll be fine.
Here are the Chicago Bears Christmas carols you always wanted. They touch on some familiar themes. Themes like failure and sadness. ‘Tis the season.
The Chicago Bears are a real sad sack right now. Their season is over for all intents and purposes and a lot of blame is being placed. Let’s revel in the misery!
Chicago Bears fans being Chicago Bears fans. One group of Bears fans apparently stabbed two other fans because one said he wanted to be a Green Bay Packers fan. Not even making that up!
Willie Young is a defensive end for the Chicago Bears. Willie Young is also a moron. For his unoriginal sack dance after a non-sack, he’s our turkey of Thanksgiving.
The Chicago Sun-Times — the city’s other newspaper — has just as much interest in the Chicago Bears as everyone else does. None. This headline proves it.
Chicago Bears fans did not handle their team’s latest loss to the Green Bay Packers well. They harassed the coach’s daughter, burned stuff and called for Jim McMahon.
Green Bay Packers receiver Randall Cobb says he knew the Chicago Bears might lay down if the Packers got an early lead. And lay down they did, because they’re just that kind of team.